50 - Time has Relatives

50 years ago today, the world suffered an egregious indignity.  Ubiquitous Bubba was born. 

At first, the world tried denial.  When other planets would mention it, usually with mocking cloud formations, Earth would blush and try to talk over them to change the subject. 

When denial failed, the world then moved on to anger.  Over and over again, the world attempted to wipe out this stain on its existence.  In spite of the best efforts of his family, Bubba survived. 

Frustrated with continuing failure (the world would sometimes say that it would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for those darn kids), Earth attempted to cut a deal.  Working to strike a bargain it could live with, it tried to contain the problem to an isolated geographic area.  Of course, it would have to sacrifice some mountains and forests, but it decided that was a small price to pay.  Unfortunately, Bubba broke containment and spread like gossip in a small town.  Soon, he was everywhere. 

In it's shame, the world sank into a deep depression.  This world-wide malaise would later come to be known as one of the key contributors to the ignominy known as glam rock.  Now the butt of interplanetary jokes, Earth sat alone in the darkness, sinking deeper into a stupor.  Even Uranus had to admit that, for the first time, it was glad that it wasn't the Earth.  For long years, the world's depression has festered.  But the deep and abiding hatred still burns. 

Some of the other planets have told Earth to just move on to acceptance and get this over with, but deep at its core, it knows.  Someday, it will have its revenge on Bubba.  Someday, he will be annihilated.  The Earth is patient.  The Earth knows that revenge is a dish best served with becan.  But, then again, aren't they all?

Hippo Bird Day 2 Ewes 
Hippo Bird Day 2 Ewes
Hippo Bird Day Deer Bubba
Hippo Bird Day 2 Ewes...

Happy B-Day U.B. 50

Karyn

trimph1


Hippo Bird Day 2 Ewes 
Hippo Bird Day 2 Ewes
Hippo Bird Day Deer Bubba
Hippo Bird Day 2 Ewes...

You don't get around the copyright that easily...

Well even though you are now elderly I'm glad to see you haven't lost your creativity. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

bapu


Happy B-Day U.B. 50

That makes you 20%-40% better than UB40?

And all this time, I thought it was me!

Enjoy your special day, and don't forget your helmet.

Randy

Birthdays beat the alternative.

Happy Birthday Bubba.

Happy birthday, Bubba. 

don't forget:

eating without your teeth so that food runs out of the sides of your mouth
carrying a cane that you don't need for walking but use it to smack the young people with when they say or do something stupid (which will be all the time)
when you wear your pants up above your belly as opposed to the pre-50, post 35 crowd who wears it below the belly, don't forget to make sure your pants legs are at least 6" above the tops of your shoes.  also, you get 10 bonus points if you wear different colored socks and you get 30 bonus points if you wear sock suspenders with them.
make sure and comb over any hair you have left so that it wraps around and hangs down on the other side, regardless of which side you start on.
"whipper-snapper" and "dang" are to be used in the same sentence at least 8 times a day.
remember to spit when you talk and get up real close to those who you're talking to.
don't forget to eat raw garlic and onions every morning right after your morning bunyon bandaging.
if you have all of your hair, then instead of the combover, you must wear a felt fedora.  with white cotton fuzzballs on it from where it was sitting upside down in the laundry room on the cotton towels.
I'm sure there are more instructions to come....

 
Many happy returns Bubba - hope you're having a great day!
 
 
 

Punk kid.  Oh well, happy b-day.

NOW WATCH OUT!

Next time you wake up you notice that you'll be 58/59/60/ the next week.
That's what happened to me. The wheel of time spins faster every year. Now start
doing the things on your "To do before 60"-list, NOW! Otherwise it turns into a "To do before you're 70"-list.

Congratulations!

Thanks again for the advice.  I'm embracing my curmudgeonhood.  I already have the cane, so I'm good there.  I've started taking up two parking spaces in the parking lot.  I'm looking forward to being able to accurately predict weather based upon bodily ailments.  That seems like a useful feature.

Any moment now, the young folk should start arriving to sit at my feet and listen to my wisdom.  That's the way it works, right?