99.97% of people in "slim fit" pants look freaking ridiculous.

RANT: Can we PLEASE get over the whole skinny pants thing. How long has it been now? I've been waiting for this trend to burn itself out for what seems like 5 years. 

THEY ARE HORRIBLE. I'm sorry to say but the ONLY people who look good in slim fit pants are people with very narrow hips and extremely long & perfectly straight legs. If you deviate from this description even slightly, you look ridiculous in them. 

Have round hips? You look ridiculous in skinny pants. Have wide hips? You look ridiculous in skinny pants. Have overly muscular or flabby thighs? You look ridiculous in skinny pants. Have knock knees? You look ridiculous in skinny pants. Have short legs? You look ridiculous in skinny pants. 

I have quite long legs and average hips (for a man). However, I have muscular thighs. I look ridiculous in skinny pants. 

I was out looking for some "regular" cargo pants yesterday. Virtually everywhere had nothing but the slim fit variety. They cling to your ankles, they cling to your legs, they cling to your groin area and its associated contents.  When you walk in them, your legs look like they just escaped from a Freak Brothers comic. They're horribly uncomfortable and suffocating in the summer.

I really look forward to the day when I can walk into a clothing store again and not have to spend 15 minutes looking for the one pair of regular fit pants they have. Having said that, it's probably my own fault for living in New York, the epicenter of this kind of nonsense. 

Think I'm going to order some Dickie's online.  

Those guys always look to me like they have pooped their pants and are walking around with a heavy load. 

It's a sure sign of low intelligence. 

I live in the 'burbs'. Less fashion conscious out here I guess, so I don't see much fashion except for whats on TV. But I have to ask...
 
The picture Craig posted of the guy wearing the 'low-rider' jeans...well is that really how some of these guys are wearing them? Or is this just an exaggeration for a photo op?
 
Yea. Live and let live. It's none of my business and such. But egads man, what a stupid fashion statement!

I also detest these tight fitting (very feminine) jeans that the guys wear and also those extremely baggy/below the arse styles. If I had worn these baggy style when growing up, my mom, dad,uncles, and aunts would've all slapped me on the head to set me straight.  

I'm quite happy in my carpenter jeans that I've had for years and are decent, yet comfortable.  

Rain


I feel your pain my friend!! 

We were in NY last summer and I was trying to find some casual pants - you know, something that isn't my usual suit and tie. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find something that isn't slim fit. 

I remember stopping by to say hello to Jimmy at Trash and Vaudeville, and starting to browse - and what I want is basically something like regular cargo pants, you know. 

Black, but a fabric that doesn't act as a magnet for cat hair. I used to have many of these. Heck I used to wear cargo exclusively.

I figured Trash and Vaudeville have Doc Marten's, they must have cargo pants! 

Everything they had for me was either ridiculously loose with straps and crap all over so I could hardly put one feet in front of the other or way too slim. Good old Jimmy had his eyes rolling when I complained that pants were too tight. Of course, when your sense of fashion is dictated by Joey Ramone... lol

Not any luckier across the street, over at search and destroy. In fact, I never could find a pair of pants in NY. Even my suit pants were, uh, way too revealing...

Seems I have the profile to live by the trends. I wear 32 x 32. Therefore I'm doomed.

Anyway, I hate to say, but the only place where I managed to find pants was at WalMart. Everywhere fashionable, there's just nothing.

The current trends in fashion basically boil down to - for guys, making everyone look like a potential victim for a pedophile. For girls - I'm not even going there...

I hate those pants with straps all over them. What a pain in the ass. It seems that even when you do find a regular pair of cargo pants, they've got some kind of "built in" belt straps (no thanks, I'll use my own belt) and these pointless straps that come out of the hem at the ankles...what are those even for? I always cut them off. I once tried to take advantage of UniQlo's free pant alteration service, and they said "sorry we can't shorten these pants, because you'll lose the strap at the bottom." I looked at her with my best "well duh" face and said "the downside being....?"


As for sizes, it seems that every store has all sizes in abundance except mine, which is 30x32. When I first moved to America I was immediately struck by how abundant large pant sizes were in stores...like if you're a 42, there'll be like 10 pairs of pants on the rail in your size. If you're a 30 or lower, it's almost like you need to go to a speciality store for them. 

craigb


Well, 100% of the idiots who wear the jeans shown below look ridiculous.  Cops must love them though 'cause the perps can't run in them!  ("Hey, stop that penguin!")

That reminds me, a few years ago some thug a-hole who'd just killed 3 people in Manhattan  tried to escape the cops by running down the fire escape, and he tripped over his baggy pants which were pulled halfway down, and fell to his death....how we laughed and laughed and laughed! 


http://www.aolnews.com/2009/12/18/killer-tripped-up-by-his-own-baggy-pants/

paulo


Fashion Fail
 

Makes you wonder how law enforcement convinced those guys that wearing clothes like that is hip, ya?

We need to return to gentlemen wearing braces to keep their plus-fours up.

And correctly parted hair.

And spats.

And bow-ties that don't revolve in a comedic manner.

And proper undershreddies. The sort of man-kecks that are large enough to camp in, should an emergency arise. They allow the correct convection currents to circulate in the nut-sack area. It has been conclusively proved by the Scots that a well ventilated area for the love-spuds to nestle in helps maintain composure and dignity at all times. Especially when chomping ones way through a haggis or sword dancing the noo.

And manners. Bring back 'please' and 'thank you'. And not 'fank you'. It's spelt with a 'th', not a 'f'. I blame David Beckham for all this laziness in pronunciation. Mind you, he did agree with me on one thing. That keeping one's gonads away from clammy, humid and moist conditions is good for the soul. Mind you, he did look a bit of a volley 'n lob in a sari.

And hats....

Nobody wears a trilby anymore. It's been proved by the Scots that you lose 128% of your body heat through your head. That's why you never see a Scotsman wearing a balaclava helmet. Even though the temperature in Scotlandshire never gets much above freezing....... indoors.

A typical highland conversation:

"Hoots mon 'tis a wee bit nippy oot McDonald."

"Aye McTaffish, an' iff'n ye don't put it away you'll get yerself arrested, and go doon wi' a dose of varicose penis ta boot."

"Och aye."

 I don't know...I think that spandex and tights provide great comic relief. Not everyone can look like Robin Hood, but we can all put on a pair. I agree to do my part, but only at home to turn on my wife.