A first to this forum for me: "Snow White Wedding"

I wrote this thinking about a very close friend's wedding in February (as in Snow). I've known her parents since we were kids (longing then I can believe). When I played it for her she was happy to the point of tears and asked to use it for her Father\Daughter dance which is great by me.
 
But there are a lot of things that could use improving from a recording quality standpoint (I think) but I'm numb to it having listened to it so many times. As you will hear if you do listen to it I am a very amateur musician jsut having some fun and trying to get better at recording. The only thing not real are the drum loops and the strings are Garritan. Afemale friend did the main vocal and my brother backed her up as well as he did the bass track.
 
I'm a little nervous about this so be gentle :). I hope the consensus is not that I should start over or give up.
 
http://soundcloud.com/joe-santacroce/snow-white-wedding
Remix 1 (comments below)
 
http://soundcloud.com/joe-santacroce/snow-white-wedding-remix1-1
 
Final after all feedback and tweaks. Thanks to everyone:
 
http://soundcloud.com/joe-santacroce/snow-white-wedding-remix99
 

As one amateur to another, I do know what you mean about becoming numb to a song and not hearing it objectively any more. Happens all the time to me! This is a great song and I would definitely say it's worth going back to the mix for just a little extra polish. Fully agree with Karyn about the drums. I would also suggest you bring the vocals forward a bit more - they get lost a bit in the chorus. Perhaps have a look at your panning - it seems to me there is a lot coming out of my left speaker and not much out of the right - if you widen the mix it should help increase the clarity of the various instruments and vocals. I'll leave the technical advice to others here who are much, much more competent on that than I am!

Thanks for the feedback. I am working on incorporating some suggestions and will go for round 2. More feedback welcome.

Thanks,

Joe..

ps: I've been sampling some of the tunes here and there is some incredible stuff. I know I have a lot of learning and work to do.

Joe, excellent song!  I'm sure there will be tears all around....always a good thing at a wedding. 

Good job on writing the song. It's very appropriate for a wedding. 

The things I hear in it that are not as perfect as they should be...in my humble opinion:

The drums, as have been mentioned, are a bit to overpowering for the gentle nature of the song. Side stick would really give it that laid back sound and still keep it moving. In the part where it says.... " and now" several times the drums seem to be wanting to gallop away.  The drums in this should be much more of a background item. 

There are some very slight but noticeable timing issues in several places. The intro is one place.  in other places there are a few isolated beats that seem to be slightly off from where they should be. Most of it is in the intro. 

Vocals: these should be louder. It is after all, the the singer that we want to hear. I would like to hear the words clearly. 

The ending..... to each his own on song structure.... however, I would resolve the final chord back to the root, as opposed to letting it hang..... but that is a personal choice and not a deal breaker. 


All in all, an excellent song and a superb first time out 

What tends to happen as you write, record and finish a song is that you tend to overlook the "glitches" or the parts that are not quite perfect, and you fall in love with the song and overlook those things. 

That's why it's always a good idea to post songs here and get those other ears on the important projects....and even the ones we do for fun and education..... Most people here are tactful in the way they express what they hear.  Knowing that other people hear the same things and point them out either teaches you what to listen for or confirms what you already knew. 

With a February wedding... you have 8+ weeks to work on this and get it fixed/perfect. Make some changes and post the new version.... repeat as often as you feel it is necessary to do so.  

We'll help you dial that mix right in. 

I'm mixed on the drums. At times it works but for the most part, no.

Other than that, this is a really good song. The music and vox are great!

Well done!

Hi Joe,

So far I totally agree with Karyn, Herb and Guitar Pima on the first mix. However, I don't feel the drums were too forceful or needed to be backed down like you've done here in the second mix. The issue (in my opinion) is the wrong samples for this particular song. I'm the first to love a cracking snare with a bit of verb splash...but I'm not so sure I would do it on a song like this. I'd go more for a meatier 70's type snare for this if at all possible. I think you may have made them too low in this new mix though.

I heard timing issues Herb mentioned....I don't seem to hear them in this new mix as much other than from the beginning guitar solo up to about 0:16 where it just seems a little loose. I too felt there was a bit of excessive compression on the drums per guitartrek's advice. What gives that away to us is the snare doesn't pop and sounded restricted..and your crash cymbals resonate longer. I don't hear that now in this mix.

I love the voices, backing and everything else you have going on here. Really beautiful song man. Just check on some of the timings...just heard a vocal timing thing at 2:35...just a little loose there. Really liked the guitar solo work...warm tone...melodic phrasing...good synths....really nice job.

Just curious...what does your nic mean? Are you a Corvette technician or something? (keeps fingers crossed because if so, I need you lol)

-Danny

Nice tune. The latest mix sounds better than the first. The guit fills seem to jump out a bit much though.

I did want to hear the line 'snow white wedding' differently. making the word 'wedding' the same as 'snow' and 'white' . so, say the snow white are on 1 and 2. then wedd-ing on 3 and 4.  but then agin it's nice the way it is and since you're tweaked out, just disregard everything i said:)

Fixed the guitar track (I think) and also EQ'd out a couple of offending guitar overtones from the patch I used. Gives it a smoother feel I think.

Thanks again for all the suggestions. At this point I think I'm putting this one to bed and already started on the next project. It will be interesting to hear it at the wedding. I did not expect that to happen but my friend really liked it and wants to use it so there ya go... :)

http://soundcloud.com/joe-santacroce/snow-white-wedding-remix99

Cool.  I agree with Tim on the timing.  This is a very pleasant tune.

Daryl

Thanks again for the comments. Very much appreciated. Having someone outside of my small circle of those I've driven crazy with this stuff listen to it and the constructive comments are greatly appreciated. I've listened to a lot of the tunes here and don't feel qualified yet to make other then general comments but working through the process as well as getting some instruction (I've purchased a couple videos and books on Mixing, EQ, Compression, etc. that others recommended) and I'm trying to get a better understanding of the whys and what fors.

More importantly though, I'm having fun. So thanks.