Announcement of NASA's most challenging mission ever?

 
NASA has outlined plans for what most experts consider to be their most ambitious and challenging mission ever.
 
However, the astronomical cost of the expedition coupled with the extremely low probability of success has left some commentators scratching their heads in disbelief.
 
Astronaut Buzz Aldrin added his voice to those of the proposed mission’s many critics saying, “I don’t understand their decision. When JFK famously declared in 1961 that the United States would put a man on the moon and return him safely to earth before the end of the decade, most people thought the idea fanciful, if not a downright impossibility.” Shaking his head and smiling ruefully, he added, “But compared to NASA’s next expedition, our chances of success were a stone cold certainty!”
 
One NASA spokesman retorted angrily to Aldrin’s criticism by saying, “Yes, the mission is going to cost billions, and the chances of accomplishing our goal are almost infinitesimally slim, but we believe that the potential rewards outweigh all the undoubted difficulties and expense."
 
Lift-off for this new voyage of discovery is due to be sometime before 2020, although NASA insisted that such was the importance of the mission, every effort would be made to get the project off the ground as soon as possible.
 
“There are fundamental questions that we believe mankind demands answers to” added the NASA boffin and quipped, “To paraphrase John F Kennedy, we are doing this not because it is easy, but because it is nigh on impossible!”
 
A whole new level of technology has been conceived for the mission, including instruments designed with previously unheard of levels of complexity, sophistication and sensitivity.
 
Details of the mission have, until now, been guarded by unprecedented levels of security, leading to rumours and theories abounding – a manned mission to Mars being by far and away the most prevalent.
 
The full reveal was a complete surprise to most observers, and went as follows:
 
“NASA are proud to announce our exciting new goal of sending a probe to land on the surface of James Corden in a mission to try and discover any trace of talent whatsoever. The craft will be launched from Cape Canaveral and once en route, will be attracted by the immense natural gravity of Corden. The probe itself will consist of two parts – an orbiter which will remain circling the main wobbling mass and a lander which will descend to the surface. The descent through the hundreds of miles of Corden’s massively dense ego will prove a real challenge, but we believe a soft landing on the upper slopes of his mountainous flab will happen at the conclusion of this perilous journey.”
 
After the official announcement, the mission leader went into other details and the history of the project. “Due to the vast surface area scheduled to be surveyed, the exploratory phase is expected to last for many years” he explained, “The lander’s solar powered batteries should keep it operational for decades, although the amount of sunlight that can penetrate the ego and arrive at the surface could be a limiting factor. We’ll be trying to keep the lander in direct sunshine as often as possible, although when navigating the area beneath the many chins, this might prove a little difficult.”
 
Although some may perceive the purpose of the mission to be a complete waste of time, effort and money, the search for talent in James Corden has been attempted many times before. The NASA spokesman stressed that “It is completely obvious that no talent whatsoever can be observed using the naked eye, so some form of instrumentation has always been employed in an attempt to view this elusive attribute. We finally decided to launch a probe after extensive use of the Hubble Space Telescope failed to reveal even the slightest trace of quantifiable talent, even during Corden’s recent eclipse of the sun.”
 
If this voyage proves successful, the NASA spokesman hinted that further missions of talent discovery may be launched further down the line. “We could see a day when such missions are commonplace” he suggested, “And the thought of finding any talent whatsoever in the likes of Russell Brand, Noel Edmonds or Adrian Chiles keeps us motivated and prepared to carry on working at what most consider to be a fruitless task.”
 
James Corden is fat.
 
 
 
 
 
 

I can forgive him for being a bit of a pillock, because he co-wrote (and was very good in) Gavin & Stacey, one of my favourite comedies.

Lots to learn in the Coffee House.  The rare bit can even be used.  

Full vid of the Aldrin punch...
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47LEbHA6cIE
 
Man... the guy was acting even douchier than I recalled.
 
lol

It was the writing that made that show, the peripheral characters were just brilliant, like Pete and Dawn and Stacey's nan. Brydon was superb in it as Uncle Bryn.

bapu
Do I gather form gist of the OP that NASA has given up on Ricky Gervais?

Gervais has gone up inestimably in my opinion.
 
This helped...
 
###WARNING FOR THOSE EASILY OFFENDED###
 
\\\\\ MUCH FOUL LANGUAGE & COPIOUS ATHEISM /////
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Funny ... and maybe I just missed it, but I didn't find one mention of Uranus in this entire thread.

I've loved science ever since I saw the sentence "Uranus is gaseous."