AnsweredBanned from WalMart

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BobF
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2017/08/11 15:13:40 (permalink)

Banned from WalMart

Letter to wife from WalMart
 
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband are listed below and are “documented by our video surveillance cameras”:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of chips.
6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department – to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ Emergency Medics were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘ Mission Impossible’ theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!
15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.
And last, but not least:
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’ One of the Staff passed out.

Bob  --
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#1
jamesg1213
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Re: Banned from WalMart 2017/08/11 15:21:10 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby BobF 2017/08/12 12:51:38


 
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#2
Mesh
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Re: Banned from WalMart 2017/08/11 15:41:21 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby BobF 2017/08/12 12:51:41

 
Sad but true?

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bayoubill
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Re: Banned from WalMart 2017/08/11 15:46:58 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby BobF 2017/08/12 12:51:43
Very helpful!

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#4
bitman
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Re: Banned from WalMart 2017/08/11 22:34:11 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby BobF 2017/08/12 12:51:47
Good stuff Robert.
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57Gregy
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Re: Banned from WalMart 2017/08/12 01:03:16 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby BobF 2017/08/12 12:51:49
I think that was my store! 

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#6
bapu
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Re: Banned from WalMart 2017/08/12 15:04:09 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby BobF 2017/08/12 15:04:46
Seems like a complete list for most men but where are the complaints?
#7
craigb
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Re: Banned from WalMart 2017/08/13 18:55:13 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby bapu 2017/08/13 18:57:22
I've added most of those to my to-do list for the next time I'm in a Walmart. 

 
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#8
michaelhanson
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Re: Banned from WalMart 2017/08/13 20:07:17 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby BobF 2017/08/15 21:36:56
I don't get it. What did he do wrong?

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#9
bapu
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Re: Banned from WalMart 2017/08/13 20:34:10 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby BobF 2017/08/13 20:43:13
michaelhanson
I don't get it. What did he do wrong?

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michaelhanson
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Re: Banned from WalMart 2017/08/13 21:35:25 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby BobF 2017/08/14 12:29:12
Actually my brother-in-law KELLY reminds me of this. He is not the shy one at all. Recently while shopping at Kroger's and getting groceries, he used his Kroger plus card. The clerk commented, because you have use the Kroger plus card, you have saved $5.91. To which, he threw his hands in the air started dancing in a circle and screamed I have won, I have won. I nearly coughed up lung laughing, and my teenage daughter turned all red and embarrassed and wanted to get out of there as quick as she could.

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craigb
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Re: Banned from WalMart 2017/08/13 21:47:31 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby BobF 2017/08/14 12:29:22
I once had to drive a female roommate to the store for an emergency feminine product (she was a cute little blonde model so I wasn't going to say no - lol).  While she's off getting what she needed, I was bored and grabbed a banana.
 
So, there we are going through the checkout lane with tampons and a banana when I see the checkout clerk looking a bit puzzled at the combination but trying to hide his curiosity.  I pointed to the banana and said "Backup, just in case!"  I thought he was going to lose it completely right there.  He turned beat red and we couldn't stop laughing.

 
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#12
paulo
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Re: Banned from WalMart 2017/08/14 10:50:06 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby BobF 2017/08/14 12:30:19
A guy was at the supermarket and after buying a few things he began to queue up in this really long line for the checkout.
After about 15 minutes in the line he reached the checkout girl and just at that moment he remembered that he needed some condoms. Not wanting to line up again he said to the girl "Oh I meant to buy some condoms but forgot"
"Do you know what size you are?" she asked. "No," he replied.
"OK let me have a feel then.."
 
She then put her hand down his trousers has a good feel and then says into the microphone "1 packet of large condoms to aisle 3 please", the condoms are brought to him and he pays his bill and goes on his way. Another male customer sees this and thinks he'd like some of that and so says the same thing to the girl...
 
A similar course of events takes place, only this time after having a feel she says "One packet of medium sized condoms to aisle 3 please", the condoms are then brought to him and he pays the bill and goes on his way. Also watching this course of events was a rather excitable 15 year old boy who then decides to queue up and try the same routine. "I'd like to buy some condoms please, but I forgot" he says.
 
"Do you know what size you are?" she asked. "No," he replied. "OK, I'll just check for you.....
 
 
"Clean up in aisle 3 please!"
#13
craigb
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Re: Banned from WalMart 2017/08/15 20:24:48 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby BobF 2017/08/15 21:46:49
Unfortunately, you'd have to substitute "Depends" for "condoms" with most of the crew here... 

 
Time for all of you to head over to Beyond My DAW!
#14
Zargg
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Re: Banned from WalMart 2017/08/15 21:46:08 (permalink) ☼ Best Answerby BobF 2017/08/15 21:46:52
But we don't have WalMart here in Norway 

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craigb
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Re: Banned from WalMart 2017/08/16 00:22:19 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby BobF 2017/08/16 00:52:55
Zargg
But we don't have WalMart here in Norway 




Not enough ugly, fat people for customers? 

 
Time for all of you to head over to Beyond My DAW!
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