AnsweredBapu's (and others) random thoughts for the day.

Looks like I'm gonna have to invoke NagBap today........

Gotta have a cuppa tea sometime ent oi? 

Pistolpete and Bobby are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden.......

'Hey Pete, do you smell what I smell. It's becan - I'm sure of it.'

'Yes, Bobby, it smells like becan to me.'

So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with becan.

There's raw becan, dripping with moisture, there's fried becan, back becan, double smoked becan... every imaginable kind of cured pig meat.

'Pete, Pete…. we're saved. It is a becan tree.'

'Bobby, are you sure it's not a mirage? We are in the desert, don't forget.'

'Pete, when did you ever hear of a mirage that smell like becan? It's no mirage, it's a becan tree.'

And, with that, Bobby races towards the tree. He gets to within five metres, Pistolpete following closely behind, when, all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up and Bobby is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, a true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pete with his dying breath.

'Pete... go back man, you was right it's not a becan tree.'

'Bobby, Bobby ... what the hell is it?'

'Pete... it’s not a becan tree...

it's...

it's...

it's...

it's a Ham Bush.'

Did he get his just desserts?

jamesg1213

SteveStrummerUK


Roses are red,
Becan is red,
Poems are hard,
Becan.

Pedro, how did you get Steve's log-in and password?

Couldn't be Pedro, otherwise it would have looked like this:
 

Hi,
 
Roses are red,
Becan is red,
Poems are hard,
Becan.
 
The origins of this type of poem may be traced at least as far back as to the following lines written in 1590 by Sir Edmund Spenser from his epic The Faerie Queene (Book Three, Canto 6, Stanza 6):
 
It was upon a Sommers shynie day, When Titan faire his beames did display, In a fresh fountaine, farre from all mens vew, She bath'd her brest, the boyling heat t'allay; She bath'd with roses red, and violets blew, And all the sweetest flowres, that in the forrest grew.
   
A nursery rhyme significantly closer to the modern cliché Valentine's Day poem can be found in Gammer Gurton's Garland, a 1784 collection of English nursery rhymes:
  
The rose is red,
the violet's blue,
The honey's sweet,
and so are you.
 
Thou are my love and I am thine;
I drew thee to my Valentine:
The lot was cast and then I drew,
And Fortune said it shou'd be you.  
 
Victor Hugo was likely familiar with Spenser, but may not have known the English nursery rhyme when, in 1862, he published the novel, Les Misérables. Hugo was a poet as well as a novelist, and within the text of the novel are many songs. One sung by the character, Fantine contains this refrain, in the 1862 English translation:
  
We will buy very pretty things
A-walking through the faubourgs.
Violets are blue,
roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I love my loves.
  
The last two lines in the original French are:
  
Les bleuets sont bleus,
les roses sont roses,
Les bleuets sont bleus,
j'aime mes amours.  
 
(Les Misérables, Fantine, Book Seven, Chapter Six)

H

craigb

jamesg1213

SteveStrummerUK


Roses are red,
Becan is red,
Poems are hard,
Becan.

Pedro, how did you get Steve's log-in and password?

Couldn't be Pedro, otherwise it would have looked like this:
 

Hi,
 
Roses are red,
Becan is red,
Poems are hard,
Becan.
 
The origins of this type of poem may be traced at least as far back as to the following lines written in 1590 by Sir Edmund Spenser from his epic The Faerie Queene (Book Three, Canto 6, Stanza 6):
 
It was upon a Sommers shynie day, When Titan faire his beames did display, In a fresh fountaine, farre from all mens vew, She bath'd her brest, the boyling heat t'allay; She bath'd with roses red, and violets blew, And all the sweetest flowres, that in the forrest grew.
   
A nursery rhyme significantly closer to the modern cliché Valentine's Day poem can be found in Gammer Gurton's Garland, a 1784 collection of English nursery rhymes:
  
The rose is red,
the violet's blue,
The honey's sweet,
and so are you.
 
Thou are my love and I am thine;
I drew thee to my Valentine:
The lot was cast and then I drew,
And Fortune said it shou'd be you.  
 
Victor Hugo was likely familiar with Spenser, but may not have known the English nursery rhyme when, in 1862, he published the novel, Les Misérables. Hugo was a poet as well as a novelist, and within the text of the novel are many songs. One sung by the character, Fantine contains this refrain, in the 1862 English translation:
  
We will buy very pretty things
A-walking through the faubourgs.
Violets are blue,
roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I love my loves.
  
The last two lines in the original French are:
  
Les bleuets sont bleus,
les roses sont roses,
Les bleuets sont bleus,
j'aime mes amours.  
 
(Les Misérables, Fantine, Book Seven, Chapter Six)

 
Priceless
 
 

I went into the chemists earlier and asked the shop assistant, "Do you sell anti-perspirant?"

"Yes, sir" she said, "Ball type?"

"No" I replied, "Just the stuff for under my arms, please."

SteveStrummerUK

craigb

jamesg1213

SteveStrummerUK


Roses are red,
Becan is red,
Poems are hard,
Becan.

Pedro, how did you get Steve's log-in and password?

Couldn't be Pedro, otherwise it would have looked like this:
 

Hi,
 
Roses are red,
Becan is red,
Poems are hard,
Becan.
 
The origins of this type of poem may be traced at least as far back as to the following lines written in 1590 by Sir Edmund Spenser from his epic The Faerie Queene (Book Three, Canto 6, Stanza 6):
 
It was upon a Sommers shynie day, When Titan faire his beames did display, In a fresh fountaine, farre from all mens vew, She bath'd her brest, the boyling heat t'allay; She bath'd with roses red, and violets blew, And all the sweetest flowres, that in the forrest grew.
   
A nursery rhyme significantly closer to the modern cliché Valentine's Day poem can be found in Gammer Gurton's Garland, a 1784 collection of English nursery rhymes:
  
The rose is red,
the violet's blue,
The honey's sweet,
and so are you.
 
Thou are my love and I am thine;
I drew thee to my Valentine:
The lot was cast and then I drew,
And Fortune said it shou'd be you.  
 
Victor Hugo was likely familiar with Spenser, but may not have known the English nursery rhyme when, in 1862, he published the novel, Les Misérables. Hugo was a poet as well as a novelist, and within the text of the novel are many songs. One sung by the character, Fantine contains this refrain, in the 1862 English translation:
  
We will buy very pretty things
A-walking through the faubourgs.
Violets are blue,
roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I love my loves.
  
The last two lines in the original French are:
  
Les bleuets sont bleus,
les roses sont roses,
Les bleuets sont bleus,
j'aime mes amours.  
 
(Les Misérables, Fantine, Book Seven, Chapter Six)

 
Priceless
 
 

 

What goes snap, crackle, pop and smells like becan after 3 minutes?































Stephen Hawking in a swimming pool.

I got caught shoplifting earlier today.


With a pound of becan hidden inside my coat, I walked out of the shop and thought I'd got away with it.


I was surprised when I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned round to see I'd been stopped by the store detective. "Excuse me fatty" he said, "But what do think you are doing with that?"

"A few sausages, baked beans and a fried egg" I replied.

Early one morning, the mole family awoke and Daddy mole climbed to the top of the mole hole and sniffed the air, "MMMmmmm..... I smell becan frying." he said.

Mummy mole crowded in beside him and sniffed the air, "MMMmmmmm...... I smell eggs cooking." she said.

Baby mole tried and tried to get to the top but there was no room left so he said, "All I can smell is molasses."

I like moles

Must be American moles, ya?  Otherwise, he would have been smelling mole arses!

bapu


Looks like I'm gonna have to invoke NagBap today........

Why? It looks like Straummy is back here and in fine form already...

Moles should make wonderful pets. I suppose it would be easier to train a hamster tho.....

Mesh


Moles should make wonderful pets. I suppose it would be easier to train a hamster tho.....

Sayd Richard Gere?

musicman100

Mesh


Moles should make wonderful pets. I suppose it would be easier to train a hamster tho.....

Sayd Richard Gere?

Not that anyone should ever be arsed to go there, but "was training really needed"?

There's no light at the end of that tunnel...

Mesh


Moles should make wonderful pets. I suppose it would be easier to train a hamster tho.....

:)
 
 

In hindsight, one may prefer to be blind. 

In Mexico, they prefer whack a moley.

This is my favorite page of this fred!
(At least for today so far...)

get your minds out of the gutter.
This is the bestest trained hamster in the world http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nhll1UslDg

[I get the feeling that Bubba is writing up a story... Can't wait!]

Page 218 here we come!

Yay!  Another banner for me!
PostCount += 1;

craigb


[I get the feeling that Bubba is writing up a story... Can't wait!]

+1
 
He's like the funniest silent/quiet/peaceful assasin!!  
Before you know, he's killed you with his kind words.....

limbo again

Here ye arrr matey!!!

It's priggish — a bit of a farce:
To avoid saying ass we say arse.
One can only conclude
That it's true that a prude
Who is flatulent passes some garse.

Mesh


Here ye arrr matey!!!

It's priggish — a bit of a farce:
To avoid saying ass we say arse.
One can only conclude
That it's true that a prude
Who is flatulent passes some garse.

Sung in the key of F flat I presume?

craigb

Mesh


Here ye arrr matey!!!

It's priggish — a bit of a farce:
To avoid saying ass we say arse.
One can only conclude
That it's true that a prude
Who is flatulent passes some garse.

Sung in the key of F flat I presume?

It's one thing to presume, but if you happen to assume.....the key is not to be in the proximity of the beholder.

In the UK, would that be arseume?

craigb


In the UK, would that be arseume?

We'll need an arsecheologist who specializes in this field of study on this....
 
Daryl?

Mesh

craigb


In the UK, would that be arseume?

We'll need an arsecheologist who specializes in this field of study on this....
 
Daryl?

I will arsek Arsene Wenger who happens to be Arsenal's manager

megh....l'arse...

Arse nil?

Master of the UnivARSE!  

I keep male and female flowers in a univarse.

If it belongs to me it is mine, but if it belongs to us all what is it?

communarse?

trimph1


communarse?

Or even just arse ours.

Yours, mine and arse?  

I'm wondering if arseholes our souls can be saved from the depravity of FSF or is it too late?

I'm sure the philarsophers will have a spirited debate.  

Jonbouy


I'm wondering if arseholes our souls can be saved from the depravity of FSF or is it too late?

All your ours belong to FSF!!


Simples.

 
My band "Asperger's Syndrome" have never really got on with each other and we have now decided to split up, citing autistic differences.
 
 
 
 
 
 
G'night all......
 
 
 
 
 
Feck me, it's getting light out there.
 
 
 
 
 
 
NagBap wins again
 
 

Better uninstall that NagBap, Steve.  Good night, Sir.  

I feel arsefull......

Old55


Better uninstall that NagBap, Steve.  Good night, Sir.  

You don't uninstall NagBap, you have to file it off the surface of your hard-drive.

Even then there are no guarantees that it wont come back.

What's goin' on today, doodz? I've been pre-occuppied with other happenstances... and apparently firefox spell check wants me to change the spelling of "pre-occupied" with "PEE-occupied". I feel violated.

Beepster


What's goin' on today, doodz? I've been pre-occuppied with other happenstances... and apparently firefox spell check wants me to change the spelling of "pre-occupied" with "PEE-occupied". I feel violated.

News about FireFox being hacked has leaked out...

icwutudidthar...

I was asked what should be used to prevent this in the future, an update or better anti-virus protection.

I answered "Depends."

Is this fred in limbo?

Jonbouy

Old55


Better uninstall that NagBap, Steve.  Good night, Sir.  

You don't uninstall NagBap, you have to file it off the surface of your hard-drive.

Even then there are no guarantees that it wont come back.

 Now that you mention it.  I disconnected my hard drive and NagBap still ran!  

Seems to be in limbo.

Bapu, why are you talking to myself?