Jonbouy

Old55


"Pull my finger" is a game; not a threat.  

Yes but sometimes the stakes are so high it can seem like a threat.

  The stakes usually get that high after I have steaks.  Oops!  TMI, sorry.

65 degrees here in Rochester, NY !!!
We usually have 3 feet of snow by now.
God bless them CFC's - I knew all that hairspray in the 80's was for a good reason 

 
My next door neighbour started banging on the door in the early hours of this morning.

I tried to ignore her, but she just wouldn't stop. So eventually, I put a dressing gown on and went to see what was going on.

"What the feck do you want?" I shouted.

"Are you taking the bleedin' piss?" she replied.

"Listen missus, it's 2am and you're keeping me awake. What on earth do you want?"

"First of all" she said, "I want you to take my dressing gown off and then I want you to get the hell out of my house, otherwise I am calling the police."
 
 
 
 

@Straummy - Chor.....

Straummy - I have finished my choon that I was working on so it's onto some Strangling next.

SteveStrummerUK


 
My next door neighbour started banging on the door in the early hours of this morning.

I tried to ignore her, but she just wouldn't stop. So eventually, I put a dressing gown on and went to see what was going on.

"What the feck do you want?" I shouted.

"Are you taking the bleedin' piss?" she replied.

"Listen missus, it's 2am and you're keeping me awake. What on earth do you want?"

"First of all" she said, "I want you to take my dressing gown off and then I want you to get the hell out of my house, otherwise I am calling the police."
 
 
 
 

If I'd have written that it would have been a true story...
 
Well, almost.  I never put the dressing gown on...

whom else noticed?????

daryl1968


Straummy - I have finished my choon that I was working on so it's onto some Strangling next.

Dat soundz like gud noose. 

btw I posted this here, if anyone was wondering.

Who is currently the sorriest person on the forum?
 
Not that it matters.

Jonbouy


Who is currently the sorriest person on the forum?
       

The OP?

Sorriest or most apologetic?  There's a slight chance that it will be two different people. 

Jonbouy


Who is currently the sorriest person on the forum?
 
Not that it matters.

No one told me there was going to be a contest!

drewfx1

Jonbouy


Who is currently the sorriest person on the forum?

Not that it matters.

No one told me there was going to be a contest!

I choose "C"

I remember Bilious Baggins--wasn't he the sorry Hobbit?

I am not sorry to anyone except the current Mrsdaryl1968.

daryl1968


I am not sorry to anyone except the current Mrsdaryl1968.

+1 from Tartypants

A.R.S.E

couldnt find 64 point font SORRY

musicman100

A.R.S.E

couldnt find 64 point font SORRY

well done

Old55


Sorriest or most apologetic?  There's a slight chance that it will be two different people. 

I had anticipated that.  After all the sorriest person is likely to be beside himself just now.

Jonbouy

Old55


Sorriest or most apologetic?  There's a slight chance that it will be two different people. 

I had anticipated that.  After all the sorriest person is likely to be beside himself just now.

Sorriest and schizophrenic...   interesting. 

You are all cordially invited to a recycling party on Saturday @8pm....







Bring a bottle.

SteveStrummerUK


You are all cordially invited to a recycling party on Saturday @8pm....







Bring a bottle.

Will ewe have suitable containers for Green, Brown, and White bottles???

After queueing up for almost half an hour in the chemist last week, I finally got to the counter and the woman looked at me and said, "I'm really sorry about your wait."






In a rattled state, I replied, "You're not so fecking skinny yourself, actually."

bapu

daryl1968


I am not sorry to anyone except the current Mrsdaryl1968.

+1 from Tartypants

And why should Mrsdaryl1968 care if Mr. Tartypants is sorry, hmmmm?

I met a popstar in a nightclub last night and we ended up getting really drunk and going back to my place.

She was all over me in the taxi, stroking and caressing my body and whispering filth into my ear,
but as soon as she got through the front door she stiffened up and her attitude changed completely.

"What the hell is that pathetic little thing?" she demanded. "How the hell do you think that you're going to satisfy me with that?"

"I'm sorry, Adele," I replied, "it's the biggest fridge I could afford."

musicman100

SteveStrummerUK


You are all cordially invited to a recycling party on Saturday @8pm....







Bring a bottle.

Will ewe have suitable containers for Green, Brown, and White bottles???

I guess we'll also be recycling stout and lager. 

SteveStrummerUK


I met a popstar in a nightclub last night and we ended up getting really drunk and going back to my place.

She was all over me in the taxi, stroking and caressing my body and whispering filth into my ear,
but as soon as she got through the front door she stiffened up and her attitude changed completely.

"What the hell is that pathetic little thing?" she demanded. "How the hell do you think that you're going to satisfy me with that?"

"I'm sorry, Adele," I replied, "it's the biggest fridge I could afford."

 
in case nobody knows what she looks like

man, did I have a great laugh-dance last night

Adele is just big-boned

Ham or steak?

T

Bone Walker

Walker, Texas Ranger....hang on, wrong thread you tart

Quaint little fred, this.  

Shouldn't that be 'THE Fred'?

daryl1968


Walker, Texas Ranger....hang on, wrong thread you tart

I just assumed this steaming pile of a fred had consumed that other fred as an appetizer.


How else would this thing be so HUGE?

 This rainy morning, I yam looking for mirth and merriment to warm up the cockles of my heart
 
 
and codpiece

Good morning, MM100.  It sounds like a perfect day for recording.  Stay dry.  

PS:  Your heart has a codpiece, too?  

Old55


Good morning, MM100.  It sounds like a perfect day for recording.  Stay dry.  

PS:  Your heart has a codpiece, too?  

tank ewe, yes your correct a perfect day to be doing something OTHER than working....
 
AFA a codpiece  heart, when i was a younger man, it sometimes did my thinking for me ....

musicman100

Old55


Good morning, MM100.  It sounds like a perfect day for recording.  Stay dry.  

PS:  Your heart has a codpiece, too?  

tank ewe, yes your correct a perfect day to be doing something OTHER than working....
 
AFA a codpiece  heart, when i was a younger man, it sometimes did my thinking for me ....

I've been a victim of that, too.  Good times...  at least until the drama starts.  

one could think of this as an actual preference

man, did I have a great laugh-dance last night

one could think of this as an actual preference



I want some of his drugs...

Do software guys use a codepiece? 

Old55


Do software guys use a codepiece? 

usually have to pad it with extra bits..........

Year of the living Fred

The Get-to-know-me Fred

And Fred's your uncle

Fred on the wild frontier

Be the Fred

The Fred and only

A Fred without limits

You're only Fred once

Fred of a lifetime

2 Freds, no waiting

To know Fred is to know Fred

The Great Fredini

The Fred over the river PI

Fred me or leave me

All you need is fred. 

musicman100

 

 

DARYLS UNCLES ROOSTER

wow - that's impressive

Fredtastic







not really - it's a pile of poo

daryl1968

musicman100

 

 

DARYLS UNCLES ROOSTER

wow - that's impressive

you are welcome, its a HUGE bird, for sure......

musicman100

daryl1968

musicman100

 

 

DARYLS UNCLES ROOSTER

wow - that's impressive

you are welcome, its a HUGE bird, for sure......

massive girth

I phoned up Drugs Awareness today.

I said, "Can I speak to a cocaine councillor please?"

He said, "You'll have to wait, he's on another line."

only 20 pages to go - should be there by Friday

I returned my faulty Bosch GSB18-2-LI Professional to B&Q for a refund today.

The manager refused because I didn't have my receipt.

"Come on mate" I said, "You know the drill."

Next door's kitten has just survived 90 minutes in the tumble dryer!








But as a conscientious scientist, I'll have to repeat the experiment.

I don't understand what is wrong with you people.

You're all making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.

I don't understand what is wrong with you people.
 
 
 
 
 
You're all making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.

it was funnier the first time


;)

daryl1968


it was funnier the first time


;)

what was?