Re:It's all about you
2012/05/31 15:10:24
I don't point clearly. I'm more of an approximate pointer. It's kind of like getting directions from the rather disturbing old guy at the remote gas station at the edge of town behind the abandoned amusement park.
"Well, ye starts out agoin' thataways. Head out yonder fer a spell until ye get to this cactus next to the road, then keep goin' fer a bit. Turn right about half a mile before the abandoned haunted mine. Foller the dirt road through that place where the trailer park used to be before that tornado done blowed it away in 1973. That's how I lost my good leg. You'll see a few buzzards. Don't pay 'em no mind. When ye get near the entrance, don't stop, even ifn ye see the road blocked by a bunch of guys in black robes. Just mow 'em down. Ye might wanna lock yer doors, just in case. I wouldn't open the winders ifn ye get my drift. That's the story of how I lost half of my spleen. Anyways, you'll skip all o' that ifn you turn left somewhere back there. Ifn ye do, make sure ye don't foller the road to the old Johnson place. Folk don't go there no more. That old boy just ain't right. Ifn he don't see ye, yer probably gonna be fine. Where wuz I? Oh, yeah! The swamp. I hope ye got yer boots on! I ain't sayin' it's a spooky place, but most of the folks I seen go in, don't come back out. There be strange and unnatural critters in there. That's how I lost the left side of my face. Don't fret none. I'm alright now. That's a joke, boy. Where wuz I? Oh, yeah! The mountain. It'll be nightfall by the time ye get there. Ye may just want to drive off the edge and meet death head on. It'll be a better end. Ifn ye risk it, ye might be able to foller the one lane dirt road up the peak. There's some of it ain't even washed out yet. Much. There's an old house at the very top. It's huge and very old. It's surrounded by a stone wall and has rusty iron gates. Whatever ye do, don't go inside! That's how I lost my hindquarters. Don't get me started on that story! Anyways, if ye don't value yer life, ye kin try to drive down the side of the mountain in the dark. One way or another, ye will be sure to find the bottom. Ifn yer still among the livin', ye kin head out over thataways fer another half a day. There's a few roads there. Take one of 'em and keep agoin'. Ye can't miss it. That's how ye kin get to McDonalds. Tell 'em Old Man Smithers from the abandoned amusement park done sent ye. Yer welcome..."