I think Bapsi's new title might be a record all on its own accord!

Top o the morn' two y'all

Our all Ya'll woikin two daze? 

"caffinated zombie" - fast thinking/slow moving or slow thinking/fast moving??
(I can never figure these things out.....I'm just a proxy-moron....).  
 
I've had to show up at work as my co-workers had pre-booked this date before I did and at least 1 zombie has to be present.
I've already had a large Starbucks Veranda blend, but I'm also having a bit of a cold which (come to think of it) makes me feel like a "caffinated zombie". 

I'm speculating here, but I think a caffinated zombie might thnk it's moving fast, but it's really just kind of jittery.  Well, jittery for a zombie.  I mean, it's not like they're known for their grace and fluidity.  Of course, it's not like those are my strongest traits, either.
 
Since zombies are already dead, is too much caffine bad for them?  Do zombies ever order decaff because they're trying to cut down or they don't want to stalk all night?  If you trick zombies into drinking Nyquil, do they get sleepy?  Sometimes, Nyquil keeps me awake.  I hate that.  How would you trick a zombie anyway?  I mean, do they fall for gags easily?  If so, I would think that using the, "Look over there!" trick would work pretty effectively.  I'm reasonably sure that they would fall for the, "I've got your nose" thing, too. 
 
In the zombie movies, why don't people ever mess with the zombies for their own entertainment?  I mean, who loses a battle of wits with a zombie?  Wouldn't that be humiliating?  (Note to self: Call Jeff Foxworthy and pitch the Are You Smarter Than A Zombie idea.)
 
Hmmm.  Redneck zombies.  Do southern zombies moan with a southern accent?  I'd bet they still drink iced tea.
 
That makes me wonder why all of the zombies are undead humans.  Why are there no zombie animals?  I mean, it can't be a function of former mental acuity.  I've met woodland creatures with more intelligence than some humans.  Hmmm.  Bigfoot zombies.  (Note to self: Call the SyFy channel to pitch the new Dean Cain movie idea.)  It's not like Sasquatch would have to learn a new language or anything.  That could result in some new "Messin' with Sasquatch" commercials. 
 
It's a good thing I'm working today.

When you kill a zombie, do they come back as a government employee?
 
That's pretty horrific.  I wouldn't wish that on a zombie.

UbiquitousBubba
When you kill a zombie, do they come back as a government employee?
 
That's pretty horrific.  I wouldn't wish that on a zombie.

Ya.....that's not all.........they get promoted to the top and start bossing you around (that's when the brown noses hit the fan). It's almost like having a mother-in-law from hell.......but much worse-er-rer.

Two steaming piles pages to go.

Warm Bodies was funny.  I enjoyed it.
 
I'm working from home today, so my commute was pretty good.  There was some road construction to deal with.  I made it down the stairs before I realized my left turn signal had been on the whole time.  Things got a little slow as I approached the coffee pot.  That could have had something to do with my subjective experience of time rather than an absolute, objective measurement.
 
Someday, we'll look back on page 700 and laugh.  Not necessarily at the content of the page, of course, but we may still chuckle.
 
(No zombies were harmed during the drive to page 700 any more than were absolutely necessary for our entertainment.  At least, they didn't file a complaint.)

Page 700 is already passe.
 

I already had it.  (Lunch, that is...)  I had a cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese, peanut butter, honey, and a few slices of cheese.  I'm a traditionalist.
 
Nutritionists usually have seizures when I tell them what I eat.

It was greener, Bapu.  It's more of a purple now.

Juan paige and 10 posts to go.

Whenever I have posts to go, they always get my order wrong in the drive through.  That's 20%-40% worse than when I go inside. 
 
I'll have my posts with extra becan and extra cheese.  When I say extra, I don't mean, "None at all", "Substitute whatever you'd like", or "I'd like to be ripped off now".  I mean I want more.  It's not a difficult concept.  You add some, and then you add much more.  It's so simple, even a zombie could do it.  I was going to say that even a politician could do it, but that's just unbelievable. 
 
That's right.  Extra.  Yes, I know that's not "healthy".  I want it anyway.  In fact, I wants lots of it.
 
(sigh)  There's nothing here.  Maybe a politician could do a better job...
 
 

Mesh
I just gave her the card and aked her if she had a brother named Scooter.

2nd funniest post by Mesh EVAH!!!!!!