It clearly shows all of the time, all of the time.

Our society is doomed..............

IDIOT SIGHTING

I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
I said "May I have large bills, please"

She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."
When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....


IDIOT SIGHTING
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton,MS













IDIOT SIGHTING
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, 'NO, it's not..' Four is larger than two.'

We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.
She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.


IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
-- >From Kansas City



IDIOT SIGHTING
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.


IDIOT SIGHTING
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS


IDIOT SIGHTING
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,'
our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'
Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.


IDIOT SIGHTING
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff’s office, no less

This just in...
 
Top scientists speculate that within the next four years, human intelligence will fall below that of plankton.  Upon further investigation, researchers discovered that this prediction had been made more than a decade ago.  When asked for a comment, a spokesplankter replied, "Just watch your TV and leave us alone."

nope  spoke too soon
 

Nothing at all, we've waiting for you your return.   
 
Everyone have an arse day!  

Today will begin with an 80% chance of Good.  Early this morning, however, we are seeing a 60% chance of Work blowing in which will downgrade us to only a 20% chance of Okay.  There's an 8:00 AM coffee which should perk things up until that 9:00 meeting.  At that time, there's a 90% chance of Partly Bad.  Beware of Diverted Responsibility Storms throughout the morning.
 
There's a brief respite during the mid day, but absurd deadlines, backstabbing, blame and fingerpointing are expected over the course of the afternoon with an 80% chance of Horrible.  During the evening commute, there is a 5% chance of Not Bad, but road construction may suddenly downgrade to Mind-Blowingly Frustrating.
 
This evening, there is a 10% chance of Awesome, but that Honey-Do front we've been monitoring could move in at any moment.  If there are teenagers, there is a 95% chance of drama.  (Actual values may vary with gender...)
 
Late tonight, there is a 30% chance of Good, with a 5% chance of Night Terrors.
 
Overall, today is expected to be 20% - 40% better than another randomly selected date for which there are no quantifiable metrics. 
 
A statistician is a terrible thing to waste.  At least, they are 30% of the time.

There's a 5% chance of rain.......but, the FSF will still be underwater.

UbiquitousBubba
There is water at the bottom of the ocean.
 
Thanks for explaining, David Byrne.  I'm all scienced up now.

Well, I suppose it only happens once in a lifetime.
 
Anyone wrote a song by the title of "Burning down the FSF"??

Better that than "FSF Inferno."
 
I apologize for the results of this post.

UbiquitousBubba
Better that than "FSF Inferno."
 
I apologize for the results of this post.

Is this your weakly apology??

I'm sorry.
 
This fred seems to be forever stuck in a post count of 23K.
 
 

In the interest of TOS compliance regarding posts which serve no purpose other than to bump a fred or appear to increase post count, this post includes a vague/obscure reference to music and/or a musician.
 
Aldo Nova.
 
You're welcome.

Weird Al
 

David Lee Roth
 

Mars Bonfire