Cheeating band member stories

Well, something I was posting about in another thread got me to thinking. To be sure, there are some really good cheating spouse stories lurking here in the forum.

So I will start:

I had just joined a band. I guess it was my third or fourth weekend. I had just learned the names of the wives and girl friends of the other 3 band members. At the time, I was a free spirit, unencumbered by the opposite sex.

So we are at the club and I noticed the bass played and drummer (both married) and the singer/guitarist (had a girlfriend) were setting at a table with some ladies on the first break. I also observed some contact that was.... not what you might expect from guys who love their wives... going on at the table. I was leaning against a pole in the back. As the drummer headed to the little boys room, I asked him who the girls were. He casually replied, "Oh them?  That's our girlfriends, they work at the Ramada down the beach. They have a room and we're gonna stop in and party before we go home...." he slaps my back, leans in and says..." if ya know what I mean..."

OK... second set.... we play... the crowd is good, the night is hot, the bar is smoky and I'm sweating and looking for some fresh, cool night air. So I head out the door as the boys head to the table and the girls.

I'm perched on the steps, enjoying the night air. I look across teh parking lot and here comes the 2 wives and the live in girlfriend. The drummers wife say to me.... "are our husbands inside, and do they have their girlfriends with them tonight? " I didn't know what to say, so she says, "it's alright, we have known about this for some time" and proceeds up the steps and inside. I figure I'll stay outside for a few more minutes.... might be some shooting....

After a few minutes, hearing no gunshots I decided to venture inside.

What happened inside. The wives and GF hung back in the dark watching the guys kissing all over the other GF's.  When one of the GF's decided to head to the bathroom, the drummer's wife follows her inside. She comments to the GF that " Man that sure is a fine looking guy on the drums...I think I'll take him home with me tonight" the gf pipes up and says
oh no you won't, he's my bf and we're planning a night at the Ramada."  That's about all Paula can take... she's redneck so she goes off on the poor skinny gf, and the fight tumbles out into the bar. Of course the bouncers are on it, and as the husbands join the crowd, and the wives and GF's are all there, the owner says I'm throwing somebody out. He turns to the guys in teh band and asks who do I throw out? Your wives or the girlfriends?  As God is my witness they say... Throw out our wives.

I could not believe what I had heard or seen. The guys did stop in at the Ramada and spent a few hours there before going home. When they got home.

The bass players clothes were all over the front yard and the door was bolted. His wife yelled out the window at him to go find another place to live.

the drummer's wife was gone.... the apartment was trashed and she was not heard from for 6 weeks.

the singer/guitarist's house was trashed, the TV was smashed and the bed was ripped with a knife. His live in gf found out he had brought the other girl there to her bed.... she was ticked. his stuff was thrown outside as well.

All was good in about 4 months....everyone was back together.... until the next time...... which averaged about 4 to 6 months max.

Never a dull moment in that band.

I guess the best story I can tell is about a guy in my brothers band. They did a wedding reception and the lead singer slept with the bride in the back of his van between sets. iirc, the couple got divorced a year later and she had a divorce party and she hired them to play it.

I never liked having my girlfriend around while I was playing, I was always watching the crowd to see if somebody was hitting on her, and sure enough there always was, then I'd get pissed and it would ruin the night. Hell, one of my aunt's came out to see my band one night. She was in her mid 60's and some drunk guy was hitting on her and she was really getting upset. One of the guys in the band was a cop (actually two of them were), but this guy was a walking muscle. He calmly took his guitar off, we keep playing, he walked up to the guy and lifted him off the ground with one arm and took him outside. After a couple of songs go by we're wondering where the hell he went and what was going on. Finally he and the drunk come back in and he made him apologize to my aunt.

I saw a bar owner flip out and break a bunch of beer bottles one night and kick everyone out of the bar while we were playing. Don't know what that was all about. Getting OT now, better stop. :)

I never partook in the bandly pleasures. LOL! :) When I was old enough for that, (I say that because I started playing when I was very young), it was during the big aids scare of the 80's and I just couldn't bring myself to hook up with someone I didn't know. Especially around the NJ/NY area. Too many people, too risky.

Who's this Bud guy by the way? ;)

Bub. :)

I did have something of an 'experience' along that line...I was dragged into this band to replace a certain guitarist who apparently so PO'ed this other fellow whose wife this guy took a certain liking too.  When we finished the first show I went out for a smoke and didst see this certain fellow come sneaking around the side of the bar...with a tire iron. 

I quick like bunny go back into said bar and told bass player that the girls husband showed up with a tire iron...bass player goes up to the guy and explains that he has not seen guitarist for a week...

The thing about this whole episode was that the fellow had a previous encounter with someone else from the same band..there must have been something there...

The band life is great!!! Go for it.

I actually don't have any cheat stories. I'm better at being single than to be in a serious relationship so when I've been out on the road (or had other excellent opportunities) I actually haven't had the basic equipment (girlfriend/wife) to cheat.

So one good and one bad thing can be concluded from this:
 - I can honestly say that I have never cheated on my significant other
 - I will probably die alone

But when it comes to all the cheating I've seen on the road. Especially when playing in other countries! (made me remember those southern European women my oh MY!) It's actually a little weird to me that people have the hearts to do it. But it's hard to resist I guess. I'm not the one to turn down a good offer - but then again, I've managed to avoid having someone waiting for me at home when I'm away for a longer period of time;)

BTW, I have a friend who is in a major band and tour somewhere between 200 and 250 days a year all over the world. Two years ago he brought home some pretty nasty diseases to his girlfriend after 10 years. That was UGLY! (The breakup I mean[:p])

giutar hacker...yopu got some good stories man...seriously..kinda brings back the memories for me.

I've always been rather picky when joining a band or selecting band members.  Character matters.  Nobody's perfect, but when someone demonstrates a pattern of behavior that shows they can't be trusted, I'm unwilling to partner with them in a band.  I want to play with friends, people I trust, people I can bring into my home with my wife and kids, and people who have more in common than just a few songs.  I know a lot of folks play in a band as just another job, but I like to spend my time playing with people I know really well.

That's also a big part of why I haven't formed a band in many years... 

I was never one to cut another mans grass, and didn't approve of it going on with bandmates, but here is my closest experience.

Around 1984, my band was touring clubs around the SW U.S. from our home base in Phoenix. On a Friday night of a week long gig in Hobbs, New Mexico, a group of about 10 girls came into the club and started to seriously party. Drinking and dancing and just having a great time. They were sitting at a table near the stage, and I couldn't help notice this one particular girl who was just a knockout.

Between the 3rd and 4th set, she came up to me at the bar and we started talking for about 10 minutes. She was really sweet and loved the band and wanted to know where we were staying and if she could come party with us after the show. No problem my dear.

After the show, the band and our crew of 3 headed to the motel we were staying at. It was one of those old horseshoe shaped motor courts, with the parking lot in the middle. We had 3 rooms all next to each other at the far end of the motel. We all went into the middle of the 3, and started a little party, when there was a knock at the door and there was the young lady I had talked to. She had come alone without any of her friends. With 8 guys in the room all carrying on, she and I left and went to motel room next door for some "quiet time".

We weren't in there more than 15 minutes, when we heard this loud banging next door where the rest of the boys were. Then we heard this voice yell "DEBBIE, GET OUT HERE", followed by more banging. Debbie sits up and says "Oh my god, that's my fiancee" I jumped up at took a peek out the window, and there at the door of the next room is a mountain of very upset farmboy. Redfaced and banging and the door. I looked at her, and she says "We are getting married tomorrow". This is not good. I went over to the nitestand and grabbed the phone. I told the front desk to call the cops and tell them there was a guy trying to kill someone, so hurry.

At this point I decided that if this guy got into either room things would get real ugly, so I told her to get under the bed and I bolted out the door into the open parking lot. Farmboy spun around and came after me and once we were in the open, the boys in the band came pouring out of their room into the parking lot where Farmboy is chasing me around with this huge steel hook. I later found out it was a baling hook used for picking up bales of hay. About 3 feet long and nasty looking thing. I ran into the middle and we got Farmboy in the middle of a circle of scared musicians and roadies, and he's swinging this baling hook and crying and cussing.

After about a minute of this, it seemed like every cop car in New Mexico came flying into the parking lot. We scattered in every direction and left Farmboy standing in the lights of the cars with the hook in his hand. Much yelling ensued from the cops with their guns drawn, and he eventually laid the hook down and dropped to his knees and they rushed him and handcuffed him and put him in the back of a police car.

We all came out of hiding, and walked towards where the police were and began to explain what had happened. Debbie came out of the room where she had been hiding and starts crying and trying to talk to Farmboy through the window of the police car, saying she's sorry and he's just staring straight ahead with tears running down his face. It was just horrible.

Eventually, they take him away and Debbie leaves and we all went to our rooms and crashed. The next night was our last night in town, and there was a strange vibe all night in the club. During a pause before the last song of the night, our drummer leans down into his snare mic and says "This is our last song here in Hobbs, so thanks for coming and you can all have your women back now"

Randy

Loved Randy's story and the ones by Guitarhacker!  I haven't been in a band since 1984 when I really was too young to care so I don't have many war stories, however I do have one that falls more under the "worst gig" category...

I was just starting to play and joined some friends as the third guitarist (yeah, they had those back in the 70's). The keyboardist, the quasi-leader of the band since he had the most gear (a separate insurance fraud story) decided we needed to have a "test" gig so he put together a little kegger party (two kegs) at his house and we expected between 30 and 60 people. Unbeknownst to us, the keyboardist's ex decided to get even with him and posted modified posters all around San Diego. She advertised the party as having free beer so EVERYONE decided to show up, including the Hell's Angels! The doorman ended up in the hospital and we ended up hiding on the roof with whatever gear we could save (I lost an amp and my only stomp) while the police, complete with riot wagons and gear, tried to disperse the crowd. The papers wrote about it the next day and said the police estimated that there were over 1,400(!) people there (the mob actually stopped one lane of traffic on the street in front of the house). My home was over a half a mile away and there was a ton of party debris on the sidewalk and street there! I have no idea if any criminal charges came out of the party, but I do know that the interior of the keyboardist's house had a lot of damage due to some fighting and people were taking the mirror tiles off the wall to do lines on them...

A small bit of trivia about this band:  Some of you may remember that a founding member of Iron Butterfly was Doug Engle (who wrote In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida), well that was our drummer's name as well - his son.  I went to the same high school as he did and he was even in my graduating class.  Since he really wanted to play keyboards like his dad, he moved on fairly soon after the disaster gig only to be replaced by a drummer who committed suicide the next week when his girlfriend left him!  That was our Spinal Tap moment I guess...

rsp@odyssey.net
...we got Farmboy in the middle of a circle of scared musicians and roadies, and he's swinging this baling hook and crying and cussing.

How many of us here have never had that happen.

The best "cheating bandmate" member story I have isn't mine but this guy I worked with at a hospital.  I was 17, he was about 36, a country singer/songwriter who was divorced two or three times.  He had lots of stories about fooling around with married women and nearly getting caught.  (He's the one who told me to never hide under the bed because then you're trapped.)

He liked to joke around a lot, so I thought he was kidding when he said that the one time he got shot was messing around with someone's girlfriend.  At least, I thought he was joking until he lifted his shirt to show me a wrinkled circular scar a bit northwest of his navel and said "Here's where the bullet went in...."  Then turned sideways to display a scalpel scar saying "... and here's were it came out."  He said it hurt like hell.

p.s. Randy I never cut the other mans grass I promise.  That would have been too weird even for me, being as I was seeing his woman

Ah, but you planted in his field. I see the difference now. ;)

Jonbouy


How come I'm the only one here that hasn't confessed somebody elses cheatin'

OK so I was young and impressionable, and I didn't want to go there, but she made me otherwise I'd have been a Saint too...

C'mon you people dish yer own dirt I'm starting to feel like the only louse on the entire forum.

p.s. Randy I never cut the other mans grass I promise.  That would have been too weird even for me, being as I was seeing his woman.

I can say that I wasn't careful about checking the ring finger.

I was terribly boring as a lad.  (Well, at least in some ways...)