Children's Song

This is the one I posted the other day and then immediately took down because . . . well, mostly because my voice was so bad on it. Anyhow, Steve here did some remixing and managed to use something like Melodyne I guess to add some background vocals from my original vocal during the chorus sections, plus he added some piano and woodwinds and whatnot. (Sorry Steve but I took out the Rhodes. For some reason that track just wasn't working for me, and I only used the woodwinds and pizzicato strings in certain sections.) My voice still stinks and always will in this life, but it sounds way better now.
 
The Mind at the Bottom of the Well
 
When I was just a little tike
Training wheels still on my bike
I’d ask my daddy, “What’s the deal,
How do you know what’s real?”
 
He said:
“Sitting in an apple tree
We marvel how it came to be
Life is just a mystery
But aren’t you glad you’re going through with me?”
 
I raise my hand before my face
And wonder how it moves through space
The mind at the bottom of the well—
Maybe he could tell
 
Or write it on the bathroom wall:
“We were never here at all”
The microcosm ain’t so small
The big is small, the small is big, the universe is just a twig
 
Swing a June Bug on a string
Twirl it round to make it sing
Screechin’ out a melody:
“Swinging me into the sky blue, that will never satisfy you”
(Nope)
 
At night before I’d go to sleep
And ask the Lord my soul to keep
I’d bite a few bed bugs cos—
They need to know who’s boss

Hey Wayfarer, this was very enjoyable! I thought your vocals were just fine. Great finger pickin too! It's a really fun song to listen to. Great job man!

This is a great song - love it. Is it an original?

Bill
I thought the 1st version was fine but the revised one does sound better. The higher notes are
a challenge so maybe use a lower note within the chord, unless that changes the melody too much.
I really like the playfulness of the lyrics. Really good guitar work as usual.


I'm hardly the person you'd want for vocal advice, but this is just from a casual listener point of view.

Thanks everyone for listening. My voice is only good for blues and such, but I like to write all kinds of things, so you may have to put up with it more often if you keep encouraging me. 
 
Yes, I wrote it Daryl.
 
Bill

Hey there Mr Sausage Fingers ...I mean Bill ,
I happen to think this tune is as cool as cool can be .
The guitar part sounds real nice too me ( chord changes and the Recording )
Loved the melodies you used for the songs lyrics ...I thought you were very close in a lot of places ...
At least you have a voice I don't
Keep working on it .
 
Kenny
 

Delightful tune.  Your voice is perfect for it.  You sound like a gentle giant.
 
John B.
 
 

Nice guitar playing and good finger picking.  Nothing wrong with your voice and we don't hear bass vocals very often.  Nice job.

Thanks Vicente.
 
Jesse, that's the best compliment I've ever gotten. Thank so much!
 
And yes, I wrote it.
 
Bill

First off, cool song. Captures some fun childhood mystery stuff. With a bit of cosmicness.
 
Guitar is first rate. As per usual. I like the piano touches as well!
 
The only thing to polish the vocals a little bit is volume automate down some of the ssss's which get just a tad sibilant. If you turn it up you can hear them. This is very editable!
 
Lastly, kudos on having the mind that could generate this. Totally fun.
 
-Tom

I love this number!  The lyrics are absolutely terrific and the melody really caries the song.  The guitar playing is also terrific and the sparse instrumentation really adds to the overall song by concentrating attention on the lyrics and vocal.  BTW, your vocal sound very good in the version I heard.  It isn't always necessary to reach each and every note or to hold notes perfectly for 20 minutes at top volume.  Rather, in MHO, it is the presentation and delivery!  There have been many famous singers/musicians that didn't have what might be perceived as perfect voices but they could deliver and sell a song.  Does the name Louise Armstrong strike a familiar note.  So go ahead and use your voice and post more song with vocals.  This one was great!

I forgot to say one thing, I REALLY appreciate your listing a genre.
 
(Gets on soapbox)  There is a large diversity of song genres available on this forum, some I like a lot, some not so much.  It is nice to have a hint about what I might hear to help me decide what to listen to.  (Steps off soapbox).