Helpful ReplyCloser To The Moment

Author
dougk1824
Max Output Level: -85 dBFS
  • Total Posts : 264
  • Joined: 2017/01/13 11:55:22
  • Location: USA
  • Status: offline
2018/11/20 12:52:40 (permalink)

Closer To The Moment

Hi Everybody,
This is the fifth track on my new album, "Incessant Absurdity".  Any comments and critiques are welcome, and thanks for listening.
 
Here it is:
https://www.soundclick.com/html5/v4/player.cfm?songID=13754631
 
#1
daryl1968
Max Output Level: 0 dBFS
  • Total Posts : 10922
  • Joined: 2010/06/01 22:51:43
  • Location: Englishman in deepest, darkest Wales
  • Status: offline
Re: Closer To The Moment 2018/11/20 13:23:03 (permalink)
Hi Doug 
I really like the melodies throughout the song including the chorus however the second voice in the chorus line is either too loud and needs to be put way in the background or removed completely in my opinion.
#2
dcumpian
Max Output Level: -34 dBFS
  • Total Posts : 4116
  • Joined: 2005/11/03 15:50:51
  • Status: offline
Re: Closer To The Moment 2018/11/20 13:27:25 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby dougk1824 2018/11/22 13:38:28
Here are my thoughts:
 
  • Bass needs to be tamed a bit. It is filling up the frequency spectrum more than it should making the overall sound a tad muddy. This made you overcompensate the highs more than would otherwise be necessary.
  • Cool tune! Kind of Cure meets Flock of Seagulls, as sung by Gary Numan.
  • I'd bring the kick up somewhat, and tighten up the snare with some compression.
  • Guitar solo gets lost here and there. Bring it more focus in the mix.
  • The mix feels a little dense and could use more space to breathe better.
 
Not bad at all! I listened all the way to the end, so I did enjoy it, lol. Nice work.
 
Regards,
Dan
 

Mixing is all about control.
 
My music:
http://dancumpian.bandcamp.com/ or https://soundcloud.com/dcumpian Studiocat Advanced Studio DAW (Intel i5 3550 @ 3.7GHz, Z77 motherboard, 16GB Ram, lots of HDDs), Sonar Plat, Mackie 1604, PreSonus Audiobox 44VSL, ESI 4x4 Midi Interface, Ibanez Bass, Custom Fender Mexi-Strat, NI S88, Roland JV-2080 & MDB-1, Komplete, Omnisphere, Lots o' plugins.    
#3
thegaltieribrothers
Max Output Level: -85 dBFS
  • Total Posts : 297
  • Joined: 2011/07/28 14:18:38
  • Location: birmingham, united kingdom
  • Status: offline
Re: Closer To The Moment 2018/11/20 14:07:07 (permalink)
Hi Doug,
 
Nice song, reminded me of The Cure/New Order.
 
Thanks for sharing.
 
Good Job!
 
paul
#4
Starise
Max Output Level: -0.4 dBFS
  • Total Posts : 7544
  • Joined: 2007/04/07 17:23:02
  • Status: offline
Re: Closer To The Moment 2018/11/20 15:21:46 (permalink)
I guess I don't have quite the ear the other guys do on the mix. I liked the way it was done. I liked the pic on the website. Reminds me of a daily activity I dread.
I found myself lost more in the melody than the actual meaning of the song. I went back twice and still didn't nail it down. The music puts you in a kind of mood that I liked.
For effect I might have played with the "closer" using some fx to give it a more  trippy vibe, but that's me.
Great song!

Intel 5820K O.C. 4.4ghz, ASRock Extreme 4 LGA 2011-v3, 16 gig DDR4, ,
3 x Samsung SATA III 500gb SSD, 2X 1 Samsung 1tb 7200rpm outboard, Win 10 64bit, 
Laptop HP Omen i7 16gb 2/sdd with Focusrite interface.
 CbB, Studio One 4 Pro, Mixcraft 8, Ableton Live 10 
 
 www.soundcloud.com/starise
 
 
 
Twitter @Rodein
 
#5
biodiode
Max Output Level: -67 dBFS
  • Total Posts : 1188
  • Joined: 2006/04/13 13:48:09
  • Location: Blackpool, UK
  • Status: offline
Re: Closer To The Moment 2018/11/20 15:30:57 (permalink)
I enjoyed this tune and listened to it all the way through, reminds of those early 80's YES tunes. I would second what Dan has suggested and the mix could do with some added width. All in all though, nice song 

www.biodiode.com  
https://soundcloud.com/biodiode
PC Specs :-Sonar Platinum,
Fractal Design Define R4 Case, Asus X-99 Deluxe motherboard, Intel Core i7 5960X Processor, Bequiet BK010 Dark Rock Cooler, 32GB - 2400mhz Corsair memory, 650W Bequiet Dark Pro PSU, 1GB XFX Radeon R5 Passive GFX, 2 x 256GB Samsung 850 Pro SSD, 1 x 3TB WesterDigital Black HDD, LG - BluRay Combo Drive, Windows 10, Kensington SlimBlade Trackball, LG34UM88C 34-Inch 3440 x 1440 UltraWide IPS Monitor
#6
eph221
Max Output Level: -28.5 dBFS
  • Total Posts : 4653
  • Joined: 2014/12/22 05:06:50
  • Status: offline
Re: Closer To The Moment 2018/11/20 19:23:47 (permalink)
I really liked the chord progression in this.  it's reminiscent of classic rock from the early 70's late 60's.  Likewise in the way you treat the vocals.

*Q-TIPS ARE FUZZY!!*
 Is a lumineer a new dental appliance?  
 
i7 2.5 ghz
32GB RAM
WINDOWS 10
My Ass
Cubase 9.5
 
#7
Wayfarer
Max Output Level: -75 dBFS
  • Total Posts : 767
  • Joined: 2017/07/15 02:32:25
  • Status: offline
Re: Closer To The Moment 2018/11/22 02:46:39 (permalink)
Good song Doug. I'd take some of the reverb off the vocals, but otherwise I thought it was just fine.
 
Bill
post edited by Wayfarer - 2018/11/22 13:18:10
#8
bjornpdx
Max Output Level: -76 dBFS
  • Total Posts : 748
  • Joined: 2010/12/10 11:41:29
  • Location: Portland, Oregon
  • Status: offline
Re: Closer To The Moment 2018/11/22 08:51:29 (permalink)
Doug,
What Starise said above. I like the overall sound of the music which put me in a nice mood, and yet I wanted to hear something a bit more melodic. Hard to explain I guess.




Bjorn
soundcloud.com/orygun
www.bjornfredrickson.com
https://store.cdbaby.com/Artist/BjornFredrickson
 
Purrfect Audio Pro Studio, RME UCX
Cakewalk by Bandlab,  Studio One,  Reaper
#9
dougk1824
Max Output Level: -85 dBFS
  • Total Posts : 264
  • Joined: 2017/01/13 11:55:22
  • Location: USA
  • Status: offline
Re: Closer To The Moment 2018/11/25 18:20:12 (permalink)
daryl1968 - Thanks for listening and for your critiques - I backed off on the second vocal on the chorus - I think it sounds better now.
dcumpian - I took all your crits and made adjustments to the mix - thanks for your comments.
thegaltieribrothers - Thanks guys for giving my song a listen.
Starise - Thank you very much for listening and for your kind comments.
biodode - Thanks for your comments - I gave the BT Stereo Imager a try and I thought this added some width to the mix.
Wayfarer - Thanks for giving my song a listen - I backed off on some of the reverb on the lead vocal.
bjornpdx - Thanks for giving my song a listen.
#10
emeraldsoul
Max Output Level: -57 dBFS
  • Total Posts : 1836
  • Joined: 2009/01/02 23:16:43
  • Status: offline
Re: Closer To The Moment 2018/11/25 18:31:12 (permalink)
OK! Writing is great, vocal works great, mix is mostly there (maybe dry up some reverb somewhere), guitar tones are awesome (but the left side darker one is pretty dark) - and as far as guitar goes, AWESOME choices, leads, rhythms, all of it.
 
Compositionally, very very much what I like.
 
The flute might come down a bit in that flute section?
 
 
But the thing I really think you might look at is the snare. I think it comes in just a hair late, behind the beat, particularly in the first third of the song. That's a disruption in the force, Luke.
 
The very end has an overlapping two-mellotrons-ending-at-different-times thing.
 
 
yeah, good stuff, Doug! Keep doin' whatchure doin'.
 
-Tom
 
 

A work in regress:
www.studiusinterruptus.com
 
Cornbread - video   audio
A Very, Very Troubled Soul - video   
Kilometers Davis - video   audio
Mayans (Face in the Crowd) - video  audio
The Sweet Slow Fade - video
#11
dougk1824
Max Output Level: -85 dBFS
  • Total Posts : 264
  • Joined: 2017/01/13 11:55:22
  • Location: USA
  • Status: offline
Re: Closer To The Moment 2018/11/29 16:38:15 (permalink)
emeraldsoul - Thank you very much for your comments and critiques.  Drum tracks are always a challenge for me - I write all my songs on acoustic guitar, and then later I search through numerous drum grooves to find the right feel for the song.  I hope this one wasn't too bad.  Anyway, thanks for listening.
#12
daryl1968
Max Output Level: 0 dBFS
  • Total Posts : 10922
  • Joined: 2010/06/01 22:51:43
  • Location: Englishman in deepest, darkest Wales
  • Status: offline
Re: Closer To The Moment 2018/11/29 17:10:08 (permalink)
Good stuff Doug. All round a better package.
Are you pleased with it?
#13
Wookiee
Rrrrugh arah-ah-woof?
  • Total Posts : 13284
  • Joined: 2007/01/16 06:19:43
  • Location: Akahaocwora - Village Yoh Kay
  • Status: offline
Re: Closer To The Moment 2018/11/29 18:18:22 (permalink)
Tad to much reverb on the vocal for my taste, but it is your song, thanks for sharing nothing else I can add that has not already been said.

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.
Karma has a way of finding its own way home.
Primary, i7 8700K 16Gigs Ram, 3x500gb SSD's 2TB Backup HHD Saffire Pro 40. Win 10 64Bit
Secondary  i7 4790K, 32GB Ram, 500Gb SSD OS/Prog's, 1TB Audio, 1TB Samples HHD AudioBox USB, Win 10 64Bit
CbB, Adam's A7x's - Event 20/20's, Arturia V6, Korg Digital Legacy, Softube Modular, Arturia Keylab-88, USB-MidiSport 8x8 
#14
dougk1824
Max Output Level: -85 dBFS
  • Total Posts : 264
  • Joined: 2017/01/13 11:55:22
  • Location: USA
  • Status: offline
Re: Closer To The Moment 2018/12/01 13:53:41 (permalink)
daryl1968 - I think it's a better mix now - thanks for your help and for listening - I appreciate it.
 
Wookiee - Thanks for giving my song a listen.  You might be right about the lead vocal - there's a BT echo on it, and it may be a bit much.  I think I'll do another mix and dial that back some.
#15
Jump to:
© 2018 APG vNext Commercial Version 5.1