Competition - Ears needed! (One Step Closer)

Hi all,
 
There is a songwriting competition coming up which requires a song to be written along the lines of "peace"...vaguely
 
I have to post this on Friday and I am getting a girl to help me sing the choruses which you will hear at the moment I strain to reach!
 
Please offer crits or obvious flaws, no major surgery as I only got 2 days,
 
 
DUET VERSION FINAL
https://soundcloud.com/ci...t-amanda-kehoe/s-vxbWP
 
Thanks,
 
Cian

just the word 'competition' puts me right off.
 

 
that said,
the mix is a bit too 'wide' for me...
the voices need some presence on them to get them to 'pop' a bit more...
 
focus on your lowest lows,
it feels 'light', for lack of a better word.
 
 
cool tune cian
 

I will be doing another mix tomorrow evening when I have female parts.
 
Um, arg, hmmm, biting my tongue...
 
But seriously - cool tune. Listening on crappy speakers but vocal seems a bit loud and I want to hear more of the various guitar parts and keyboard bits. That's a personal preference though - I like those little bits...

Hiya Cian,
 
Sounds exactly what I have come to expect from you Cian . Nice song
 
I'll let the experts comment on the mix... Not my area, as you know...
 
I'll listen again when you have incorporated the "female parts"
 
And good luck with the competition
 
 
cheers
 
andy

maybe your female guest singer could take over parts you're saying 'one step, one step closer, one step closer we are'.
maybe start to sing the verses real calme and then build up to the chorus.
you just work too hard :)
think the key-parts/things could be a bit easier or more to the background.
not sure what it is, but the music is a hair uptight all together, or perhaps taking it down just a fraction on the tempo/bpm could make it better.
 
your vocals and melodies are really fantastic, again.
don't worry if you should not winn this one, you'll get there surely one day....your voice is no less than Paul Carracks'..
 
 
 

Guys, thanks for your comments
 
Here is the latest version including the female vox, I have just one quick edit before tomorrow and my ears are fried. Better or worse than last one? Still too much verb, lacking lowend, too uptight the whole way, thanks!!!
 
https://soundcloud.com/cian-mcgovern/osc10sept/s-WYnRl
 
Cian

The female vocal doesn't seem to have its own space carved out in the mix.  The chorus sounds a little softer with the added vocal.  Still really like the song just don't think the female VOX added much to it.

Cian,
 
Right, the verb on the lead vox.   I think the backing track is OK as far as verb goes, it is nice and tight.   You can really hear the verb depth at :43 when you say "stand up"  and again around 2:12 where the backing track quiets down.  It is of course a personal taste thing but I think generally these upbeat songs in this style sound better with a tight verb and delay. 

Regards

Newest mix does indeed sound the best.  :) I feel that the fem vox still isn't quite up there with your vox in a few places. Another really catchy track my friend.
 
Good luck, I'm sure you're do well with this!