Johnbee58
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Considering Entering This In The Songwriting Competition
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post edited by Johnbee58 - 2018/01/23 11:23:22
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eph221
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Re: Considering Entering This In The Songwriting Competition
2018/01/22 08:52:44
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I like it, but could use a little more focus with respect to tonality. Even the most out there scat singing has melodic elements to it. Lyrics are great!
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Johnbee58
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Re: Considering Entering This In The Songwriting Competition
2018/01/22 12:23:15
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eph221
I like it, but could use a little more focus with respect to tonality. Even the most out there scat singing has melodic elements to it. Lyrics are great!
Could you please explain this! Are you telling me that the melody I worked so hard on for a year isn't there? Maybe I should post a lead sheet.
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jamesg1213
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Re: Considering Entering This In The Songwriting Competition
2018/01/22 12:25:20
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Johnbee58
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Re: Considering Entering This In The Songwriting Competition
2018/01/22 12:32:20
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jamesg1213
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Re: Considering Entering This In The Songwriting Competition
2018/01/22 12:45:22
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I kind of hear what eph221 means John. You've really set yourself a heck of a task singing that melody, I think it's out of your range in that key.
The melody is there, I'm not convinced it's right for the lead vocal though, a lot of the lyrics don't scan well. It works really nicely played by the muted trumpet in the break, maybe it needs simplifying somewhat for a vocal?
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Johnbee58
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Re: Considering Entering This In The Songwriting Competition
2018/01/22 13:43:04
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It's supposed to be a demo. They don't take your performance. They pitch it to somebody else (established artist). I'm not the greatest singer in the world, especially with my asthma. I thought I had a winning melody there, but I guess I don't. So I won't enter it. Thanks for bringing me back down to earth. That's why I posted it here. Better to find out for free that it's unusable than to blow $35.00 for the "pros" to tell me the same thing. This song is just another POS like everything else I produce. JB
post edited by Johnbee58 - 2018/01/22 15:26:59
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Mesh
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Re: Considering Entering This In The Songwriting Competition
2018/01/22 15:45:19
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I haven't listened to your song yet (it's blocked at my workplace), but you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. You've spent a lot of time in something you feel passionate about and that's what's important. Even if people don't appreciate it the same way you do, it's ok....you did it from the heart (sometimes, with sweat and tears :)). Just keep on making the best music you possibly can and don't worry about pleasing the masses.
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jamesg1213
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Re: Considering Entering This In The Songwriting Competition
2018/01/22 16:01:25
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It's far from a POS John, the melody and piano playing are lovely, I'm just not sure it works the way it's written. No-one's an 'expert' on whether music is good or not, it's all subjective, so take what I say with a pinch of salt.
If you have faith in the song, but not confident in your voice, why not try one of the online session singer websites?
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Wookiee
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Re: Considering Entering This In The Songwriting Competition
2018/01/22 16:41:34
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I have to agree with the other that it is possibly the wrong key for your range, though I am no expert regarding vocals. I also agree do not be so hard on yourself, try to see if someone else can sing it for you prior to your submission.
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SiTheMon
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Re: Considering Entering This In The Songwriting Competition
2018/01/22 16:41:54
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Your producing art brother so as long as you put your heart into it, it can never be rubbish.
The melody may be out of your range but you could either transpose it or get someone else to sing it. I think your lyrics are good just maybe condense them into smaller phrases. Im as guilty as the next man for writing too many words and having to cut back when Im trying to write a catchy rhythm for them.
Either way stay true to your vision :-)
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eph221
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Re: Considering Entering This In The Songwriting Competition
2018/01/22 20:37:10
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I just meant minor re adjustment. Maybe rethink the melody in terms of tonal centers (rather than diatonic). For instance moving a pitch here or there to be a leading tone. That would give a more distinct direction to the melody. I didn't mean you shouldn't enter it. But if you're using melodyne you can play around with the voice and melody and see what I mean. Just a thought. I'm no expert. I submit songs that I think are good all the time to agents and publishers and feedback I get is just so different from how I hear the song. That can be disconcerting. Take ALL criticism with a pinch of salt like James said.
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Johnbee58
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Re: Considering Entering This In The Songwriting Competition
2018/01/22 21:41:03
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Thanks all. I know what you're all saying. I appreciate it and I appreciate your taking the time to listen. Online singer websites? Didn't know they existed. Links?  JB
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jamesg1213
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Re: Considering Entering This In The Songwriting Competition
2018/01/22 21:52:49
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