dougk1824
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Don't Turn Away
I think this is the first ballad I've posted - I hope it's not too sappy  The drums are Cakewalk's Studio Instruments - it just seemed to fit right. The lead vocal is sung through a Rode NTA-1. Thanks for listening: https://www.soundclick.com/html5/v4/player.cfm?songID=13536598
post edited by dougk1824 - 2018/05/18 20:45:17
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Voda La Void
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Re: Don't Turn Away
2018/04/26 17:34:53
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☄ Helpfulby dougk1824 2018/04/30 14:00:50
Man, I can't tell you how many times I've recorded vocals and listened and convinced myself it was passable only for someone to brutally size me down, and then I finally hear myself.
You have a great voice texture, seriously, kind of reminds me of Oasis. Very comfortable tone. There are times you sound perfectly on, but mostly it sounds way pitchy. Not trying to bust your confidence, but that's the weak link on this one my friend. The melodies are great, though. The drums need much work too, in that the fills sound clunky and quite machine like. I sympathize there as well. It's time consuming to get programmed drums to sound natural.
Love the music. It definitely sounds 90's, and you have great sensibility about how to introduce that synth, whatever it is. Good songwriting, in my opinion. I'm sitting here singing it in my head as I write this.
Voda La Void...experiments in disturbing frequencies...
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Voda La Void
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Re: Don't Turn Away
2018/04/26 17:43:28
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By the way, listened to some of your other stuff and you're quite the melody machine. You've got some good stuff on that album, man.
Voda La Void...experiments in disturbing frequencies...
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dougk1824
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Re: Don't Turn Away
2018/04/29 19:41:07
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Voda La Void - thanks for your comments and critiques. I used the magic of Melodyne to correct the pitch in my vocals - I thought it was alright, but after listening again, I realized it needed improvement. I hope it's fine now. Thanks again.
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Leadfoot
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Re: Don't Turn Away
2018/04/30 00:53:57
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It's a nice song Doug. I liked the chorus. Some harmonies would really sound good in the chorus IMO. Like Voda said, the drums could use some work, but I like the song.
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daryl1968
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Re: Don't Turn Away
2018/04/30 08:33:41
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I like this Doug - drums could do with some TLC but the song and performances are great.
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Wayfarer
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Re: Don't Turn Away
2018/04/30 16:09:33
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It's a good song Doug, but can I tell you what I believe would make it better? I'd dial back the highs overall; it's a bit crispy, and I would replace that electric guitar strumming on the left with an acoustic and pan it more toward the center. Also, it sounds like you're straining a little to reach those high notes during the chorus. I know it's probably too late, but I think lowering the key would be very helpful and make your voice sound much richer. Man if I had to sing that high in just one song, I wouldn't be able to sing anything else the rest of the night. In my case the audience would cheer.
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dougk1824
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Re: Don't Turn Away
2018/05/03 15:47:06
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Leadfoot - thanks for your comment and critiques. I spent quite a bit of time on the drum track - I know it's not perfect, but I was satisfied enough with it. At least it sounds better than a TR-808, in my opinion daryl1968 - Thanks for giving my song a listen - maybe I'll work on the drums a bit more - especially the fills. Wayfarer - Thanks for your comments and critiques. I think the crispiness of the mix you mention is me using the L-Phase EQ - a preset giving the mix more air. Maybe I should dial it back a bit there. Regarding the key of the song - I capo at the second fret. I used to play it on acoustic at open mics, so maybe your suggestion to include an acoustic guitar is a good one. It is one of the more difficult songs to sing that I have written.
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biodiode
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Re: Don't Turn Away
2018/05/03 15:57:48
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Nice arrangement and song structure, recording is bob on. I would say that some of the vocals in the chorus section sound strained. If you are going to sing falsetto make sure it's in range. That aside I would like to hear some backing harmonies on this track.
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dougk1824
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Re: Don't Turn Away
2018/05/03 18:28:02
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biodiode - thanks for listening and your comments. I'm thinking of doubling the chorus - it is a bit of a strain to reach the high part of it. Harmonies on the chorus are a good suggestion - thanks.
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jude77
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Re: Don't Turn Away
2018/05/08 01:31:06
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You've definitely got something with this song. There's a strong melody in there for sure. The only critique I would offer is that I felt like the electric guitar and the vocal were competing. Maybe shave a few dbs off the top and see what happens, but that's only a niggle and it may just be my speakers.
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emeraldsoul
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Re: Don't Turn Away
2018/05/08 03:56:48
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I agree, good song with a nice groove. Others have given you some good vocal thoughts and as they said it's just a couple of rough patches for the most part. You might definitely think about some "oooh and aahhhh' harmonies floating in the background in the chorus?
I did want that elec guit out of the left side and more toward center. If you are going to leave it on the left, maybe try a softer delay of it panned hard right? That might give it more of a room sound and some movement.
The keyboard tones, kind of electric and flutey, are standing out for me, nice adds there.
The snare has more reverb on it than the hi-hats? I think I'm hearing that. You might match them up a little closer with the reverb?
Just some silly mix ideas. I think you have one of those 90% done songs, and I bet it will shine nicely when yer dun.
cheers,
-Tom
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Wookiee
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Re: Don't Turn Away
2018/05/08 10:47:42
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The song has potential, othesr have covered the things that do not work no point in reiterating them.
Thanks for Sharing.
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montezuma
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Re: Don't Turn Away
2018/05/08 11:35:44
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I like the tone of the guitar on the left and the organ is nice...reminding me of the Shins or something. The right channel seems a bit bare. Maybe some bu vox could slot in there and fill out the stereo spectrum. Or get those guitar fills over that side. Good job.
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dougk1824
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Re: Don't Turn Away
2018/05/10 14:48:52
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montezuma - Thanks for your critiques and giving it a listen. I panned the guitar fills over to the right - I think it works better per your suggestion.
Wookiee - Thanks for listening.
emaraldsoul - Thanks for your critiques. I made some adjustments to the rhythm guitar tracks so hopefully it sounds more balanced. I might add harmonies - haven't decided on that yet. You mentioned the high hats had less verb than the snare - so I made some adjustments there. Thanks again.
jude77 - Thanks for your comments and critiques - I made some eq adjustments on the rhythm guitars so the lead vocal stands out more.
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stevec
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Re: Don't Turn Away
2018/05/17 19:17:24
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Good song... Nothing to add to the mix comments above, but would reiterate those drum fill comments - some sound as though the drummer wasn't sure what to play.  For the chorus vocals, this seems like a good case for varispeed (for the main lead) and harmonies added for additional impact. I think the song itself deserves the extra attention.
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Lynn
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Re: Don't Turn Away
2018/05/17 19:38:31
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I've listened to this song several times, and it just grows and grows on me. I think it's much better now than the first time I heard it, and I really dig your vocal, even when you're stretching for a high note. I can feel the passion in this song, which is what makes it shine. The only thing that seemed out of place was the snare at the 3:40 mark, like it was slightly off beat. Otherwise, this has a lot going for it.
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dougk1824
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Re: Don't Turn Away
2018/05/18 12:52:17
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Lynn - thanks for listening to my song and thanks for you comments. I'll give that snare at 3:40 a listen.
stevec - thanks for listening and for your comments. I had to look up varispeed - that looks interesting.
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eph221
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Re: Don't Turn Away
2018/05/18 19:35:26
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I don't judge lest I be judged.
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dougk1824
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Re: Don't Turn Away
2018/05/19 12:16:26
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eph221 - Thanks for listening.
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