Dumb things you did as a kid.

I burned the family house down when I was 3, playing with matches. 

When I was 16 I got drunk and decided to clambour around the outside of a 150 foot bridge for fun. Someone saw me, figured I was about to kill myself, a crowd formed on the quayside below, and the police showed up. Not one of my finest moments. 

So many and, having 3 teenage kids of my own, it scares me.
Age 14 hitchiked 100 miles from Warwick to Glastonbury (famous weekender UK music festival)
Took an acid tab on the first night and had a really bad acid trip - hitchiked all the way back again the next day still out of it. My parents still believe I was staying at a friends house.

Nothing, ever.
 
It all seemed like a good idea at the time.

Almost everything I did as a kid was dumb... laff. My maternal grandmother (Mammy Weaver) once told my mom that it was only by the grace of God that I was still alive. I used to go out to her farm and I'd be out in the field with the bull, he never bothered me but it seems everyone was amazed. I shot myself in the neck with one of those Daisey BB guns that had the plastic stock near and under the end of the barrel that you pulled way back to cock the gun, it was pretty strong for a BB gun. I stood it cocked against the barbwire fence and proceeded to climb the fence, it fell to the side and shot me right in the side of the neck. Made a big eed knot but didn't break the skin.
Riding a bike... slipped the front tire just off the side of a friend's driveway then turned it back to try and get back on the driveway... of course it slammed me straight down onto the concrete, forehead first.. had a knot you could (for real) hang a hat on. First bike with hand brakes... flying down the street straight toward the telephone pole and mailbox... furiously pedalling backward... thank God, Dad was there and stopped me.
Skateboard, same friend, same driveway, baggy oversized sweatshirt, riding backwards down the driveway... sweatshirt/wheels not good. Immediate stop, back of head into concrete.
suwannee river State Park (or somewhere on the river with the Cub Scouts). It has cliffs with sloping tops that fall about 20 or 30 ft down onto limestone rocks at the riverbank. These rocks have big holes in them, up to 10" or bigger (it was a long time ago), they are jagged and not something you would want to fall onto... I wanted to see them, and I did. As soon as I got where I could see them I began to slide on the leaves... as I slid over the cliff I stopped. I had a small tree in my hand, I never saw the tree and didn't grab for it but somehow it was there.
Iwondred about electricity so I stuck my finger on one of the prongs of the Philco console B&W TV set and plugged it in... it knocked me about 4 ft across the room into the fot of my parents bed... then I knew all I needed to know about electricity.
I don't remember anymore right now but my dad told a few good ones... he is 94 years old.
 
Once someone offered him a dollar if he would swim in a creosote creek. It ran by a place where they treated poles with creosote and of course back then, the early 1920s, they just dumped all the waste into the creek. He said he stripped and went swimming, got his dollar, then blistered all over... beet red and awful.
They lived in Macon near the Indian Mounds. They played on them and they had made a zip slide with a cable they "found" from a tree on the top to a tree on the bottom. This didn't happen to dad but he was there. He was going to go first but the biggest guy said, "no", that he was going first. They had just rigged it up and didn't yet have a well pulley/tickle so they looked around and someone found a tincan... yep, the big guy started down, the tincan quickly became redhot and he took a pretty bad tumble down most of the mound, lol!
My uncle Royce, RIP, decided to play a joke on a friend who was a little "simple". He had a red pepper and put it in his pants and was going to show it to the "simple" kid claimingit was his "pecker" (can I say that?). Anyway, instead of just sticking the pepper out of his zipper... he hollowed the pepper out and stuck "Mr. Lucky" inside the red pepper... needless to say this want quickly off the rails and Mr. Lucky swole up and had "big trouble" Mammy, my grandmother (fraternal) had to fix him up... must have been embarassing.
Royce was painting something one day and the cat came and rubbed up around the paint can while Royce was cleaning the brushes with turpentine... the cat got some paint on its tail so Royce just grabbed it and cleaned it's tail and butt with the turpentine.... Dad told me that the cat took two laps around the house then climbed way up in a pine tree and began to rub it's arse back and forth on a small branch... heh.
 
Great-grandma was coming to visit. She was a big woman, so they say, in the 300 pound range.... well, Dad and Royce had rigged up the outhouse to tip backward (by removing the stones from one rear corner) to prank Otis, their younger brother, when he "went"... well "Big Mama" arrived and they completely forgot what they had done... of course the first thing she had to do was "go". Dad said she stepped in and in a matter of seconds the outhouse tipped backward then back frontward, the door flew open and she came out on the ground with her bloomers around her ankles... from what they said, they got their arses tore up.
 
I remember another... my mom whipped me every day, without fail. She usually used a switch... I got the bright idea one day to hide it. Time came and I got in trouble... she went to get the switch and it was not there. I'll never forget what she said, "BOY!!! Where is my switch"?? I'l never forget what I said, "It's under the BED"!!!
 
Then there was the time my youngest daughter gave the neighbor kid (who had a mullet) a haircut... his mom was neither happy nor nice... though she did get over it.
 
One more... I was with mom downtown, small town, 1950s America. South Main street. Sitting at the traffic light. I was crawling around in the front floorboard and decided on the spur of the moment to push the accellerator pedal with my hand.... we shot through the red light... she was so pi55ed and mean... she told me, "I am going to whip you tomorrow"! I was so miserable she gave in an went ahead and whipped me that day.
 
School lunchroom... probably 4th grade... spur of the moment idea (this will be funny, it wasn't) I decided to pull a chair out, like a gentleman for some girl... I don't even remember who... and then as she sat I pulled the chair out.... (spur of the moment things are usually bad ideas). No one thought it was funny... and really once the deed was done, neither did I... but oh well.
 
This wasn't me but it is one of those things... we got the news in the classroom (5th grade I think) that president Kennedy had been shot and killed. Some girl yelled, "Yaaa". It didn't go over very well. I guess her parents didn't like him.
 
That is all I can think of for now but if I think of more I'll post them... this is a good idea for a thread!!
 
I'll end with one I do not remember but was told... I must have been 4 or 5 years old. It was my first trip to the beach. We always went to Jekyll Island. They tell me I got out, looked at the ocean, and ran over to some guy and asked him, "Hey Mister, are there any tadpoles in that pond"? It reminds me of the old show, "Kids Say the Darndest Things" with Art Linkletter. I always heard a story about a kid whose dad was a police officer. The story goes that Art said, your mom must worry about him. The kid said, "Oh no, she is happy! He brings her rings and watches and stuff every day"! Woops... I don't know if that is true or not but it's funny.
 
Of course the dumb things I did as a kid pale in comparison to the dumb things I've done as an adult, most of which I would DENY...
 
Julien
 
 
 
 

That was like a good Faulkner novel.

I needed that. :-)


Thanks!!!

Trouble is, I'm still a kid......

Far too many embarrassing moments

Trouble is, I'm still a kid...... Far too many embarrassing moments

 
Yeah. too many of the dumb things I have done as an adult are also criminal or at the least socially unacceptable... that is the main reason I no longer drink... a beer or two is now my limit. Waking up naked and outside, or in the den when your mother-in-law is visiting it well... not acceptable, at least by most people.
 
J

1) jumping a (home-made) ramp with a 10 speed bike.

2) damming up the creek that ran behind the house, building a "city" below the dam with army men and using M-80's to blow up the dam.

3) using an aerosol hair spray can and a lighter to ignite a model city built with cardboard and paper produts (and army men, of course!).

4) shooting a mouse indoors with a 22 rifle.

I could go on...

Dumb things you did as a kid.

Decided to play bass.

I was too "smart" for my own good and questioned everything and played the class clown.

Yeah... that didn't work out so well... but I still have a hard time happily chowing down on fertilizer.

The statute of limitations has not expired.

I burned the family house down when I was 3, playing with matches.

 
Gee, and I thought burning down a field was bad.
Me and David Edwards got ahold of some matches, then we stole borrowed some gasoline from a neighbor's garage.
Down to the end of Leila at Dale Mabry, I poured the gas into a small hole in the middle of the field and lit it.
It got out of hand real quick.
I ran all the way home and told my mom, "The field's on fire, Mom!"
She called the fire department and then asked me how it started. I disavowed all knowledge of it's cause, but in the 1970s, Mom went to Tampa and visited all her old friends and David gave me up, the rat.

Not content with burning down the house at age 3 I also burned down an old wooden cricket pavilion at age 14. There were a couple of loose boards on the outside exposing a gap between the outer and inner walls. In this gap was a bunch of newspapers and other trash. I flicked my lighter at it sort of jokingly (who knows what goes on in the mind of a 14 year old) and it caught fire. Panicking, I whipped out my wotsit and figured I'd pee on it to put it out. But my d-bag friend stood in front of it with his arms outstretched yelling "NO! NO! YOU'VE MADE YOUR BED AND NOW YOU HAVE TO LIE ON IT!"

Joking aside, the thing went up pretty quickly after than and we ran like the wind. I spent the rest of the day terrified that someone had seen us, or even worse that maybe some homeless guy was asleep inside. As it was, we later found out that they had planned to knock it down anyway. So I guess I was giving a little back to the community. 

SuperG

Had to have my hands wrapped completely in ace bandages as I had no feeling in them at all, for about two week. 

Ooo I bet you enjoyed that 

Hi,

There are a couple of them, but ... it might get some folks ... ohh well ... too bad!

1. Some really good Sunshine ... I had to stop off the freeway twice, to gather my senses, and be able to drive home, and get in bed ... and read or listen to music! I was driving ok, but the mind was jumping around something fierce, and the colors were stunning.

2. Driving home with ________ and getting a ______________________________ while driving ... this one can be dangerous if you stomp the gas pedal accidentally! But at least I did not get Garp'd! Not advised in today's over crowded highways and streets!

3. Going to see Pink Floyd at the Hollywood Bowl, when I had a nasty cold and asked Kathy to come along. The concert was awesome, and the sounds were fabulous, but plugged ears and nose, is not fun. But the opening was awesome with the sound of the wind going around the whole place and ears, and your head not realizing it, until it finally hits you .... ohhh it's the band ... One of These Days!

4. Friend wanted to get stoned during The Wall show. We had seats next to each other, and the previous time that PF went to the Sports Arena, some 600 people got busted BEFORE the folks were even inside the place! So he figures he's smarter than anyone else. The audience was spiked with narc's ... and sure enough ... as soon as he lit one up and took a snag, 4 jumpers cross over the folks and grab him ... arrested! Some 400 folks got busted on that day! I guess PF audiences had more dope on them than Grateful Dead audiences! At least I know that GD would not bother playing a place like The Sports Arena in those days!

5. Going to Tijuana, and taking my passport, and driver's license, and safely not wanting to bring a credit card ... just in case. On the way back, the jackashes stopped me and nicked me for 1 whole day and were trying to get $400 dollars for me. My girlfriend, got a hold of a lawyer who instead of showing up got a hold of some mafia folks, that walked and told the guards ... that they had 5 minutes to release me, or they would all be in jail for extortion. I was out in 2 minutes! Beware the customs in many of these Latin American countries ... they do the same thing for everything you try to bring in ... so you always want a friend, or someone to mail it to you as a "gift".

All in all, because I have a green card, I have always been rather quiet and under the radar ... I had to omuch to lose to not behave, and did not take as many chances as I would have liked to.

Lastly ... wanted to go to ___ with that girl ... and it finally happened ... and got the clap! Ohh well ... that was stupid! Not all beauties are the beauties they look like! Yeah ... !!!  But that is farily standard in California, so not getting it once, means you're a wirgeen -- and a different crowd is after you and yours!