Fades To Black - Too grim?

This is a song that I recorded several years ago with my former band WIFE.  I remixed it in X3e using tools that I didn't have available at the time.  The subject matter is pretty grim, dealing with postpartum depression, so be warned.  Is it too grim to be seen as a work of art?  At the time, this was a national topic, and I was curious how this could happen, hence, the song.
 
Usually, I work alone, but I had help with this:
Karyl Wilson-lead vocal
Roger Fife-bass gtr.
Rich Reavis-wailing gtr (panned in the center)
Me- harmony vocal and rhythm gtr, and lyrics and music
 
I'm curious to know what you think about any aspect of this recording.  Thanks in advance for your time.
It can be found here: http://www.soundclick.com...&q=hi&newref=1

A good distinctive sound, icy song and great mix - good job!

I like the Riffs bass notes. Hows Xe im using still sonar 6.

I think it's fine Lynn. Really good mix there. Reminds me of some of the New Wave stuff that was around during the 80's. Rock on brother!
 
Regards,
Dan
 

Lynn
Though, I have a long ways to go, I feel that my mixing skills have taken an upswing due to the good advice from those at this forum.

Yeah Lynn,
you have been doing some real fine mixes 
the song was very well done ,
I had to listen close to the words to get the message behind the song ….
if I didn't listen close to the words I would have thought that I was listening to a party song ...
tough topic to tackle ….,good music for sure  
 
Kenny 

Kenny, thanks for your comments.  One note - when submitting his guitar track for this tune, my friend Rich played major chords against a minor progression.  I left it as is because I didn't want the main verse progression to be too dark, especially played against the two bridges.
 
Shawn, you need not apologize for being disturbed about this subject.  That's why I was hesitant to print the lyrics.  Thanks for your response (I want it to be, at least, a little disturbing to the listener).

AT, thanks for your comments.  Your suggestions are good, and I will take them into account on the next pass.  Good ears!

Interesting way to tackle the subject, the feel is almost quirky new-wave (brought to mind the B-52's). The only thing I would change about the mix is the guitar way over on the right, that was quite distracting and seemed disconnected from the rest, maybe pull that in and soften it down a touch?

My mayte Jaymes has the right of it (pun in ten did) about the guitar.

Hi Lynn sorry I haven't had a chance to listen to this to today (I've been busy doing new composition for PHD proposal :) )
 
Now there is no such thing as too grim within art, even in popular art (if that even exists anymore, I think we have mass culture these days).  It sounds like late 70's rock just after punk, touches of Ramones.  So don't censor yourself, you don't want to be ****en Justin Beiber...maybe you do LoL, maybe try the haircut first then the bad attitude.  I wouldn't mind the bad attitude actually if he actually had talent, heck everyone knows my bad attitude.  Sorry digressing. 
 
I like it, I thought the snare was a little thin a first but after a second listen, it's within range.  Guitar's are fine, no rules :) one or two instruments need to be at the forefront, when will people realise that mixing is painting not science. I was thinking raise the vocal slightly but then I think the mix would be too loud, there was a section in the middle that pushed that, try compressing final mix at that a bit more and when mastering hover over that section to get that compression right.
 
Hmm the vocoder, wow it sounds like such an ancient relic these days, I liked it but I also didn't hmm I can't explain.  These days I use melodyne and VVocal for my robot voices, it represents the modern, better I think.  On saying that this is 70's thrash punk on the cusp on 1980, so yea you see what I mean.  Maybe try a remix and try and modernise the sounds of the track.  Cut it up slightly and use a combination of robo voice techniques (robot harmony, something I'm experimenting with).  I was going to suggest just the robo voice and nothing else as an intro, but on a third listen I realise you've done that, maybe a longer intro, ala a dancey sort of remix.  Emphasise the really grim aspects, and use Reaper's varispeed to slow it down to give it a space drug death feel.  Nothing too hardcore but just enough to feel it.  Hmm, I hope I haven't been too picky.  I guess what I am suggesting is keep this version because it's excellent, maybe raise the harmony vocals, I want them to be clear.  But do a dance remix because it already has that feel.  Oh I loved the ending, I thought something was wrong, then I realized you were being literal lol.
 
Ben    

Ben, thanks for the super response.  You've put forth a lot of ideas which makes me wish that you had been here when I first recorded this.  I'll try to cut through to the gist.  As for the vocorder, it's actually samples that came with the version of CW that I recorded this (I think, maybe, S5), so I can't really redo them per se.  Your thoughts on the vocals make sense, to me.  Those changes I can make.  As for the rest, they're intriguing ideas, though, this song will probably get only a modest remake in the end.  I can tell you're on a whole other level than I am in regards to production techniques, but I'm here to learn, and you've started the wheels turning for me.  Thanks a ton, Ben!

Lynn
Ben, thanks for the super response.  You've put forth a lot of ideas which makes me wish that you had been here when I first recorded this.  I'll try to cut through to the gist.  As for the vocorder, it's actually samples that came with the version of CW that I recorded this (I think, maybe, S5), so I can't really redo them per se.  Your thoughts on the vocals make sense, to me.  Those changes I can make.  As for the rest, they're intriguing ideas, though, this song will probably get only a modest remake in the end.  I can tell you're on a whole other level than I am in regards to production techniques, but I'm here to learn, and you've started the wheels turning for me.  Thanks a ton, Ben!

No I'm just a fool Lynn re:production techniques I spend too much time alone, so all I have is my machines...lol.  Any questions you may have re:production just email me, I will PM it to you if you want it, I've helped out Stuart (he hasn't been around for a while) and I'd be happy to help out you.  Maybe if you want some ideas for tracks you are doing you can send me some rough's and I can offer, and offer is the word some tips.  But the offer is there.
 
Ben 

Wild tune!  Like AT said, everything is on the table in music.  Grim, yeah, but how grim is the subject?  The music conveyed the theme perfectly.  Wow the bathtub line almost made me cry.  My Grandkids (I babysit 4 days a week) will be here in just a bit and I know that it's God's grace (my opinion, no salvos please) that keeps us from crossing that line.  Mixed well, played well and sung well.  Scary but it's a scary subject.  Hey, Lynn have you ever posted this before?  That whole bathtub line sounds so familiar.  Great work, buddy!

It would have to be an implied scene.  I don't know that anyone (well some could) could watch that.  You know, show the bathroom, her acting leads you to understand what she is going to do , etc.  However, I don't know that a video is the best way to go.  I can't offer any real help on whether you should do that or not.  I'm sure you would do it tastefully.  I knew that bathtub thing was up here before.  It affected me then as it does now.   I don't remember a lot about it then (I think I might have said I didn't like the subject matter) but if memory serves, the music and production is much better now.  That can solve a lot of problems!  Good luck with what ever decision you make, buddy!

LOL!!!