Fades To Black-an old, new song-too dark?

Here is a song I posted a while back with some alterations.  The subject matter is something I ripped from the headlines.  It is dark and somewhat depressing, but it's a story that I think needs to be told.  What do you think?  It can be found here:http://www.soundclick.com...&q=hi&newref=1

She puts her kids to bed with a lullaby
She tucks them under covers then she says goodnight
She goes into her room and starts to cry
All she ever wanted was to hold them tight
 
She goes and fills the bathtub to the brink
She turns out all the light until she's in the dark
She wants to throw her pills into the sink
But, she's got a hunger like a great white shark
 
            The pressure that she's under is growing day by day
            The guilt and the addictions just never go away
            There is nothing she can do as long as she's alive
            And, lately she's been thinking about suicide, suicide
 
She stands above her children as they sleep
She hasn't seen their father since he ran away
She only hopes their souls are theirs to keep
She doesn't want to give them up another day
 
God forgive what she's about to do
No one knows what she's been going through
She'll never let them take those kids from her
They're better off dead is all she knows for sure
 
One by one she takes them to the bath
She holds them under water till they don't fight back
She thinks about the life they'll never have
She swallows all her pills and then she fades to black
Fades to black, fades to black
Fades to black, fades to black.......




 
Thanks for taking the time to listen and respond.

The music is really cool and the mix is great!

Interesting subject. My mom used to work in the Welfare dept and she has some horror stories that makes this seem almost tame. It's a sad world we live in where these things happen and nobody is willing to take the real problems on. Enought of that I guess.

Very well done!

unique and interesting... kinda grows on you...
enjoyed...

Mix sounds well here Lynn thanks for sharing. (Don't think a smiley is appropriate)


Dark subject, not sure that she is pure evil Herb.
 
I see the stress, the depression and despair on my own daughters face since her man died. 

It is 15 years since our son died but I can still see all the above in the face of my daughter-in-law.

It can be very, very tough on your own and whilst I do not condone her actions I can understand how, why she reached that low, dark point.

Thank you for all for taking the time.  @Paulo- I could have easily made the music darker, but I thought it needed some balance.  I did make the turnarounds in G major, but did the rest of the song in minor keys.  My intention was to tell a story rather than scare the bejesus out of people.  As for the actual story was something that intrigued me to no end.  I was once on the periphery of a situation similar to this story, and it imbedded itself in me for some reason.

paulo


I don't recall seeing/hearing this first time round, so can't comment in terms of how it has changed.  Listening now my initial reaction is that it actually isn't dark enough musically speaking to represent the lyric. The music could easily be a happy-go-lucky pop tune (I'm thinking The Bangles - Walk like an Egyptian for some reason ) Maybe this is deliberate on your part, but I think a much darker vibe musically would suit the lyric better. Mix sounds good here, no crits there, just not sure if it works stylistically for me.

Hey Lynn,


Very cool song, even with the dark subject matter!  Great songwriting and arrangement, excellent performances with lots of interesting musical twists and turns to hold the listener's interest, and the mix sounds really good.


Very unique sounding stuff, nice work.  Have a good one!
Bob

 I wanted to comment on this the other day but didn't have the time...whew, this causes me to really want to delve into the issues that cause such a sad thing to happen. I'll refrain from any extensive comments in that regard but will only say that like a lot of other human rights issues,trying to legislate a solution comes up short. We need to go to the heart of the matter and address it....and I guess it reminds me that the other sex also can have a darker side,though seldom seen here.

 The song was well written and produced. Great job Lynn!

Artists are the conscience of the World. When something needs to be said, the only way it will be heard is when it is put to music and played on the radio. This is a truly great song in that crucial and essential tradition. The composition is outstanding, the production excellent. The message is crystal clear - and rightly damning of our society. It makes me weep.

I want to thank lhansen, malcolmb, and geeare 1 for taking the time to listen and respond. You put my mind at ease for writing about a subject that intrigues me to no end.

Dark subject matter for sure.  But great mix and really well done.  

@Mahavishnu and Janet-thanks for your comments.  They're much appreciated.
@Philip-I'm sorry for your loss.  Actually, I'm not preaching at all, and the song is not about "suicidal thoughts".  I'm merely reporting about the human condition and trying to understand the actions of a person who would do something like this.  It was inspired by Andrea Yates, Susan Smith and other women who've committed similar acts.  Whether its because of drugs, depression, or hopelessness, it doesn't matter.  I'm not here to preach redemption-that's for people on a different path than mine.  Also, this song wasn't sung with gleefulness, when it was recorded, we were as somber as can be.  Personally, I tried to be as neutral as possible so as not to be judgemental.  I do appreciate your thoughts, and I hope you understand where I'm coming from.

Wow! Interesting. Great job on this!
 
A humble story... BUT you made it sort of fun to listen to because it's a jumpy, danceable, sort of Rockabilly. Nice work arranging the two voices.
 
I must say the guitars... especially the panned way over sounds brilliant; VERY TASTY.
 
Is it a Stratocaster?

Thank you very much.  Yes, it is my 1975 Strat.  I know I vary from some people on this forum, but I like to pan things wide because I like to use the full stereo spectrum.  This is a holdover from the days of vinyl and tape when too  much information in the  center would actually cause a needle to jump out of the grooves of a record.

krsongs


Wow! Interesting. Great job on this!
 
A humble story... BUT you made it sort of fun to listen to because it's a jumpy, danceable, sort of Rockabilly. Nice work arranging the two voices.
 
I must say the guitars... especially the panned way over sounds brilliant; VERY TASTY.
 
Is it a Stratocaster?

thalweg


Cool...reminds of some great pyschobilly music I've listened to recently. yeah like others said...guitars sound great. And the really interesting sounds and use of pan locations make this a neat tune.

ohgrant


I really loved this one. Artistic dark lyrics, very nicely performed. Love that guitar tone and groove.

Kenny, thanks for taking the time to listen and comment.  I have no clue what the vocorder is saying because they were samples from one of my synths.  I just thought they sounded cool and somehow appropriate.  Picture an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other arguing with each other.  The ending was meant to be abrupt, it signifies the instant her brain stopped functioning.  It also allows me to pair this song with another song that has a more upbeat message.

kennywtelejazz


Hi Lynn, a couple of things I'm trying to get with ,
whats the Vocoder voice saying ? do's it really need to repeat ?
also the ending was abrupt , Yes ? No?
as far as the subject matter go's ,
I feel  that the arts & music  are supposed to be a safe place to explore the depths of the full spectrum of the human condition in all it's struggles .....
it is a simple fact of life that some people do indeed feel trapped enough
to resort to permanent solutions to fix temporary problems .....

the tune itself is well  played & sounds good once it is under way
Bravo for going there it takes huevo's
I did enjoy the listen

Kenny

Sounds great. Very well done. Enjoyed the listen. Love the title of the song and how it relates to the subject matter.