tips on writing the blues

Too funny.....


http://bigwillyrocks.com/cms/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=29&Itemid=42



# Most blues begin, "Woke up this morning…."
# "I got a good women" is a bad way to begin the blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good women, with the meanest face in town."

# The blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes…sort of: "I got a good women with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good women with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher and she weigh 500 pounds."

# The blues is not about choice: you stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch- ain’t no way out.

# Blues cars: Chevy, Ford, Cadillac and broken-down trucks. Blues don’t travel in Volvo’s, BMW’s, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most blues transportation is a Greyhound Bus or southbound train. Jet aircraft and state-sponsored motor pools are not even in the running. Walkin’ plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin’ to die.

# Teenagers can’t sing the blues. They ain’t fixin’ to die yet. Adults sing the blues. In blues, "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

# Blues can take place in New York City but not Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis and Kansas City are still the best places to have the blues. You cannot get the blues in any place that don’t get rain.

# A man with male pattern baldness is not the blues however a women with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg because you were skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg ‘cause an alligator be chomping on it, is.

# You can’t have the blues in an office or shopping mall because the lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.

Great post, rat. It helps explain why I can play the blues, but not write 'em: I live near LA, not enough rain. But I grew up halfway between Detroit and Chicago, which is right on the way to Kansas City, so.............

I also don't think you can do the blues if you have a computer-based music studio.

Cheers.

ORIGINAL: yep

I also don't think you can do the blues if you have a computer-based music studio.

Cheers.

I had a new DAW, put a strain on my cash.
Yeah I had a new DAW, put a strain on my cash.
Now my babe has done left me, and my DAWs up and crashed.

This reminds me of the very bluest of the blues

I woke up this morning
and found myself dead
My woman had left me
after shooting me in the head

;(

Of course there's the Rich Boy's Blues;
'I woke up this afternoon', etc etc

A few years back I was playing in a London blues band led by Wolfie Witcher. He did a 4 bar blues which went;
'I woke up this mornin', and then I went straight back to bed'

Gareth

ORIGINAL: holderofthehorns

Nah, you can do the blues in a DAW studio.

I just checked the official site, and sorry to say it reports:

No matter how tragic your life, you cannot sing the blues if you own even one computer.

This thread reminds me of an extremely funny scene in the otherwise mediocre film Ghost World where Steve Buschemi, a sad-sack collector of early blues and jazz records, is dragged out to a bar and told he's gonna love this band, "blues hammer," since he likes blues so much. "Blues Hammer" turns out to be a bunch of body-pierced, hair-bleached white guys in their 20's who play rock guitar riffs in one-four-five and wail about picking cotton in a metal voice. I totally burst out laughing at that one...

Cheers.

I use to play in a southern rock group called Crossfire out of Orlando Florida and apparently this girl I had been talking to but had not had sex with had a round with a roadie who had been with a chick another member had been with who had been with another girl that another one of the band had been with and roundy round it went but missed me. I wrote this anyway. I was young so the song structure sucks.

I woke up this mornin, it was pourin rain
lawd I come to find out that I had this peculier pain
I went to the bathroom, to check myself out
what I seen it made me scream and shout
say what's the news, I got the blues, and V.D.

I told my girlfriend, I thought she would flip
but man she was wonderin why she was startin to drip
and now she's mad mad mad, she's as mad as she can be
but she ain't half as mad as I was, cause she didn't get it from me

When your out with a new girl, you better try hard
to sneak into her pocketbook and find her health card
she might not be ugly, she might not be fat
you better check it anyway, I know where it's at
say what's the news, I got the blues, and V.D.
© 1980 Breezy Johnson