The Sparks - one of my favorite bands from the 80s ('This town ain't big enough for both of us') ... aaah, good times.
Anyways, I think you've got a keeper here Mark. Seriously, this song has a lot of potential. It has a nice, smooth edge - a few hooks all throughout the song, and a catchy melody.
Lyrics and vocals fit the song perfectly.
I love the strings in the background, they are definitely an asset in your arrangement here. Guitars are well performed. The gap from around 02:15 to 02:40 you ought to 'fill' with something (an instrumental solo, a sung bridge, or something).
Well, you said yourself, the mix isn't done, yet. So I won't comment on that. Fact is, it needs a lot of work still.
Good job!
Heinz.