Perfect? - folky pop thing

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cjlinus
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2008/05/20 05:53:27 (permalink)

Perfect? - folky pop thing

Hello all,

It's been a while since I last posted but I finally made a new song and, well here it is:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=661698&songID=6554862

Please feel free to comment.


Thanks,
CJ



When I was a kid we had to use Portastudios, uphill! both ways!!

Listen to my songs here
#1

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    lhansen
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    RE: Perfect? - folky pop thing 2008/05/20 09:55:03 (permalink)
    CJ- First, I live in your backyard man! ( I saw you're from Waterbury on your SC page) I'm from Prospect!!! Really like this tune. You've got a good voice to match. Is that a Rick used on the solo? Good to hear this from a hometown boy! I'll have to check out some of your other tunes. Good one!


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    #2
    foxwolfen
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    RE: Perfect? - folky pop thing 2008/05/20 12:23:17 (permalink)
    Cool tune. Sounds pretty good. Vox were a bit dry perhaps.

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    Shad

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    #3
    cjlinus
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    RE: Perfect? - folky pop thing 2008/05/20 19:40:17 (permalink)
    ihansen,

    Thanks for the kudos, I wish I still lived in that area but I moved to South Korea back in Nov. and forgot to update my soundclick bio. The 4 years I lived there I never did hook up with anyone to jam with. Of course right as I was preping to move I met several people and actually did a project for a local songwriter. Oh well, life goes on.

    fox,

    Yeah, I don't care for the vox on this one much at all. I tried using a Cardinal instead of my NT-1 plus my preformance needs work, the low stuff mostly. Once I re-do the vox and work out the rest of the bugs I'll pay attention to the verb more. Right now it only has the Cakewalk verb that comes with GTP.

    Mostly I was just happy to get a song written, I haven't completed a song since this time last year and it just felt good to be able to have something to post. Overall this tune has been recieved with a big collective yawn but that's ok because at least I wrote, recorded, performed again!



    When I was a kid we had to use Portastudios, uphill! both ways!!

    Listen to my songs here
    #4
    DuRod
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    RE: Perfect? - folky pop thing 2008/05/20 19:48:31 (permalink)
    Nice folk rock sound with a good melody and some interesting lyrics that kind of draw you in. Has kind of a 60's sound..........am I in the right year???!! Good tune.

    Duane
    #5
    Guitarhacker
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    RE: Perfect? - folky pop thing 2008/05/20 21:06:21 (permalink)
    The sound is 60's especially the guitars...I though CCR. Bring the vox up a bit. hard to hear the words clearly...

    Good sound....it needs a bit of reverb... to give it a little bit of space in the sound.
    post edited by Guitarhacker - 2008/05/20 21:26:15

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    #6
    mose
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    RE: Perfect? - folky pop thing 2008/05/20 22:30:54 (permalink)
    At the beginning the guitar accompaniment is too loud compared to the voice. Part way through the guitar solo, it becomes too loud/mushy/spread out. It should stay in the center and be more crisp. Bring the kick up quite a bit and bring the snare down just a little. Try some chorus on the voice. It's hard to tell if I would like that better than some reverb. The bass seems to fit nicely in the background. You might need to bring it out just a touch, depending on how it sounds with the other adjustments. It's a catchy tune. These are just my opinions. Take them for what they are worth.

    www.soundclick.com/russellmosemann (Electronica flavored ear candy)
    #7
    mose
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    RE: Perfect? - folky pop thing 2008/05/20 22:34:21 (permalink)
    If you have the interest and time, consider a slow violin part floating in the background. There doesn't seem to be anything filling that sonic space.

    www.soundclick.com/russellmosemann (Electronica flavored ear candy)
    #8
    robby
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    RE: Perfect? - folky pop thing 2008/05/20 23:03:03 (permalink)
    Good point, either that or a synth or organ of some kind (no comments). It seems to pump a bit to me? Like a compresssion thing? It may be that I'm listening on phones. But I like the song.

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    #9
    cjlinus
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    RE: Perfect? - folky pop thing 2008/05/21 00:32:01 (permalink)
    All,

    Thanks for the comments, as far as the verb on the vocals please see my reply to foxwolfen. I don't plan on adding any more instruments, the empty space works for me. The drums can't be played with because I only have loops to work with. The guitar solo does feel like it spreads out due to going from single notes to octaves but again, I don't plan on changing that because it works for me. The overall mix, however, does need work and after I re-record the vox I'll of course have to remix.

    The pumping comes from the two guitar tracks panned hard left and right. I doubled the parts but did not recreate the struming pattern and as the parts go in and out of sync it gives a kind of sterio flange effect. I was going to scrap one of the guitars but after listening to it a few times the effect grew on me. It does sound funny through phones though and I imagine that earbuds would make it worse. I'll probably get sick of it and redo one or both of the guitars depending on how much more time I want to spend on this tune.

    Thanks,
    CJ



    When I was a kid we had to use Portastudios, uphill! both ways!!

    Listen to my songs here
    #10
    mose
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    RE: Perfect? - folky pop thing 2008/05/21 07:49:00 (permalink)
    ORIGINAL: cjlinus
    The drums can't be played with because I only have loops to work with.

    Actually, you could EQ most everything out except the kick, slice the beats up and make them super punchy. However, that takes a bit of work.

    www.soundclick.com/russellmosemann (Electronica flavored ear candy)
    #11
    cjlinus
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    RE: Perfect? - folky pop thing 2008/05/21 20:23:43 (permalink)

    ORIGINAL: mose
    Actually, you could EQ most everything out except the kick, slice the beats up and make them super punchy. However, that takes a bit of work.


    Yeah, I was playing around with eq last night on the drums on a couple tracks. I think that I worked out a slightly better drum sound just using the Cakewalk Q. I may have addressed the issue you noted about the kick vs. snare. Thanks for the help 'cause it's getting better. I can't wait to post this again with the fixes!!



    When I was a kid we had to use Portastudios, uphill! both ways!!

    Listen to my songs here
    #12
    rolifer@verizon.net
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    RE: Perfect? - folky pop thing 2008/05/21 20:27:56 (permalink)

    ORIGINAL: mose

    At the beginning the guitar accompaniment is too loud compared to the voice. Part way through the guitar solo, it becomes too loud/mushy/spread out. It should stay in the center and be more crisp. Bring the kick up quite a bit and bring the snare down just a little. Try some chorus on the voice. It's hard to tell if I would like that better than some reverb. The bass seems to fit nicely in the background. You might need to bring it out just a touch, depending on how it sounds with the other adjustments. It's a catchy tune. These are just my opinions. Take them for what they are worth.



    Ditto

    Just my humble opinion as well.

    Ron
    #13
    cjlinus
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    RE: Perfect? - folky pop thing 2008/05/24 08:32:10 (permalink)
    I worked out some kinks and integrated most of your suggestions. As allways, your advise is appreciated.

    Listen here: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=661698&songID=6554862



    When I was a kid we had to use Portastudios, uphill! both ways!!

    Listen to my songs here
    #14
    mose
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    RE: Perfect? - folky pop thing 2008/05/24 10:45:30 (permalink)
    That is a big improvement. Good job. The level between the solo and background vocals is just right, and even though the background vocals are quiet, they make the vocal solo more interesting. The guitar solo in the middle is exactly what I had in mind. You nailed that one. The only thing I would suggest is that when the vocal solo comes in at the beginning, bring the guitars down just a touch. My brain gets confused as to which I should focus on, because they seem about the same loudness to my ears. Overall, you made some great changes. They aren't huge, but they sure make a big difference.

    www.soundclick.com/russellmosemann (Electronica flavored ear candy)
    #15
    kayehl
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    RE: Perfect? - folky pop thing 2008/05/24 11:57:11 (permalink)
    good songwriting, i like the arrangement, it has a gentle flowing sort of feel.

    I am not an expert
    #16
    cjlinus
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    RE: Perfect? - folky pop thing 2008/05/24 17:16:03 (permalink)
    Mose,

    I have to admit that I fought putting in the backing vocal but you and robby were right. My only regret is that it takes the song out of the 60's folk catagory and puts it into the T-bone Burnet produced catagory. I like it though. Thanks for your help.



    When I was a kid we had to use Portastudios, uphill! both ways!!

    Listen to my songs here
    #17
    ToneCarver
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    RE: Perfect? - folky pop thing 2008/05/24 18:37:30 (permalink)
    CJ,
    Nice song structure and sentiment in this. Not sure if this is the soundclick player or not, but the song is kind of clipping and almost popping at times,mostly during big bass notes. My first thought was that it might be over-limited/compressed but if no one else is hearing it then it could be the player or my PC (time to reboot .. again .. perhaps). I like the background vocals, a little over-verbed for my taste but nicely done, and the lead break is very nice. Cool fadeout at the end. Nice work.
    #18
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