mgh
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Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song UPDATED!
Hey Guys and Gals I realise I have been more of a taker than a giver later, but I pray your indulgence one more time, and I promise I'll be back on the critiquing circuit this weekend... Anyhow, http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=725243&content=music new song time. A piano-led ballad, this tune has been gestating for a while, I wanted a just piano and vox version but Ste wanted some more stuff, so here ya go...the lyrics are really good, Ste never knew his father, really, and this really comes across...I lost my dad 18 months ago and I can relate too... Usual stuff, any pros/cons gratefully received. New version uploaded, as per comments below...
post edited by mgh - 2008/11/08 05:55:43
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Mamabear
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song
2008/11/07 19:59:22
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Beautiful song! I love the chord progressions. Nice tune. I love the piano too. Nice job! Personally I didn't like the synth in the intro. Or at least not as loud as it is. I would check the timing at 2:15. Something starts to lag there I think. But good job. It would sound nice with just keys and vocals, but this is nicely done.
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Taylor_514C
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song
2008/11/07 23:08:45
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Hi Mark, First off, really good song and arrangement - so props on the songwriting skills displayed here. I enjoyed the lyrics as well, and the piano sounded great. Crits: The song needs a bass line, especially for 1:22 through 1:40 and then 2:20 through 3:35 - those sections need some low end. The timing of the lead synth (I liked that tone) is a bit off at times. Also, there's a bad miss on the lead vocal at 3:20 - maybe give that bit some v-vocal treatment. Curious - what did you use for drums in this? To my ears, it's a top-notch pop song. Cheers, Doug
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jamesg1213
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song
2008/11/08 04:42:05
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ORIGINAL: mgh Hey Guys and Gals I realise I have been more of a taker than a giver later, but I pray your indulgence one more time, and I promise I'll be back on the critiquing circuit this weekend... Anyhow, http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=725243&content=music new song time. A piano-led ballad, this tune has been gestating for a while, I wanted a just piano and vox version but Ste wanted some more stuff, so here ya go...the lyrics are really good, Ste never knew his father, really, and this really comes across...I lost my dad 18 months ago and I can relate too... Usual stuff, any pros/cons gratefully received. Phew, some deeply personal lyrics there Mark, a real catharsis. A nicely arranged song with some neat touches. I think you were right though; on balance a piano/vox treatment would have done just as well.
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mgh
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song
2008/11/08 05:58:59
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OK thanks guys I have uploaded a new version, Janet i have taken out the original synth sound and put in acoustic guitar instead. Doug, it now has bass!!! And the drums are Session Drummer 2, btw. Thanks James! I thnk you should repost 'My Brave Boy' as it's remembrance weekend!!! My favourite of yours!
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drumstixkev
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song
2008/11/08 08:59:01
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WOW, some very nice writing on this tune. I do think I hear some time issues with the drums. I do have to agree with you also Mark, a piano and vox would make this song more deep and personable. All in all this is just a GREAT tune that I truly enjoyed. GREAT JOB!
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mose
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song
2008/11/08 09:03:22
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I didn't hear the first version, but this sounds great to me. I like the various instruments. It's a good mix.
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jamesyoyo
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song
2008/11/08 09:18:17
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I really like your voice. It has a sorrowful quality, like that Coldplay guy. The pitch issues are there, but not terribly out of place, if you know what I mean. A voice like yours works cuz it dances around the notes, right on the edge. The delay on the vox at 1:17 should go. Doesn't work and distracts from the feel of the song. Not in love with the guitar tone. One structure issue: it is about 45 seconds too long. Like the sentiment, love most of this song.
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lhansen
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song
2008/11/08 09:31:40
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Mark - As usual this piano ballad is a very beautiful, soulful tune. I like the vox and lyrics on this. My only nit is the beginning where the acoustic and piano need to be seperated a bit more as certain notes are stepping on each other (you know what I mean, the sonic range thing) I really can feel your heart in this one and the song held me from beginning to end. Well done man!
Slow Marching Band Win 7 x64, Sonar X1E x64, Studio One v2, Focusrite Saffire 24 DSP Pro, Genelec 8030a, True Systems P-Solo, Focusrite ISA One, FMR RNP, GAP-73. "Someone to watch over me".
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Philip
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song
2008/11/08 10:20:49
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... Didn't here the first version. Sorry. I did not read the others, but I disagree with "a bit more as certain notes are stepping on each other", they fit well to my ears. Vox is extremely well-recorded (this time), to my ears. You've really progressed in leaps and bounds. This is now my 2nd favorite of yours. The chorus is so-very-sweet and melodic: the voice register cracks at 3:25 (fix that ASAP). This song has wonderful synth work which I'd love to see boosted about a decibal. Phenomenal piece! I can sink deeply into this.
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notnat
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song UPDATED!
2008/11/08 10:37:16
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Nice song... great vox (a little pitchy). Mix needs more Kick drum...
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Taylor_514C
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song
2008/11/08 10:49:51
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Nice job Mark - you added an acoustic guitar part for the intro (I think that's new) , which is a nice touch. I like the bass lines you added as well. Sounds great. For me this is #2 after "Medicine For My Mind".
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mgh
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song
2008/11/08 16:14:06
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Kev - thanks for the listen. the timing issues are certainly not with the drums but with my playing!!! unfortunately i'm too lazy to redo all these things from scratch - usually i'll do a scratch track, then put in markers, add drums, then do the rest, but here i think the piano came first, then the drums, and the pianio is a little rubato in places, however it's cool. Russell - cheers for stopping by. the second one is a little better i think. james - thanks for the considered constructive listen as usual. I agree with the guitar tone not being as good as i'd like it, it needs to be...rounder, somehow. but i don't think it's too long! Larry - yep, i hear ya, the acoustic was done in 10 mins this morning after reading the feedback, no eq or nuthing...and it IS your specialist area!! Philip - hi! Thanks as well for your crit, i'm glad things are progressing, I feel that too, our last 3 or 4 songs have been better i think. i'd say i don't experiment enough, like i know what VC preset works with Steve's voice and i stick to that more...i need to spend more time. Frank - Steve heard this mix today and wants to come back and redo the vox, so hopefully some of the pitching issues will go...i'll look at the kick! Cheers! Doug - yep, after yours and janet's words this am i made some changes...works better.
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Mamabear
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song
2008/11/08 16:21:45
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Hey, I like the guitar in the intro! :-)
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Freeze1st
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song UPDATED!
2008/11/08 16:42:58
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You asked for opinions so I will answer. I think the Vocals on this tune first are WAY to loud, I mean they need to be down to at least let the instruments be heard, JMO. As for the lead intro, that needs to be turned down also, JMO. What I am getting at is turn everything down to where it isn't in the RED as far as the meters go whatever software you are using. I'm sure you know this, I've heard your previous stuff. This was probably a quick post, trust me dude, I have done that more times than you can imagine. I could go into more detail as to what I hear if you want me to on this tune, but I am not going to for now. It needs some work period! And that's the bottom line and I ain't gonna lie. Sorry to be an A-hole for saying that, but I am always gonna be honest about everything. JMO Bobby
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Beagle
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song UPDATED!
2008/11/08 19:35:22
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Hey, Mark - I didn't hear any of the previous versions. there's a weird sound at the very beginning - almost like the sound I get from the reverb tails at the end of a mixdown. really nice vocals on this. nice piano, too, but there are just a couple places which are a little off tempo. the guitars are overpowering the vox when they kick in, tho, I'd back them down a little. very cool oscillating synth. I really like this! nice work!
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rolifer@verizon.net
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song UPDATED!
2008/11/08 22:55:18
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Mark Your voice reminds me a bit of , I don't remember his name...Money for nothing and your chicks for free. I guess it's late and I can't think. I had to go and figure it out....Dire Straits. One of my favorite bands and I couldn't remember their name...this getting old sh*it sucks. The mix could use a little bit of work, but that is not my speciality. If you don't get back to my post, I looked up the guy you mentioned and couldn't find a presentation of Gothic. I did find his 21st symphony and was highly impressed, so I would love to hear his first. Nice work man Ron
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jamesg1213
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song
2008/11/09 03:25:50
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Mark, I like this version much more. Very tasty acoustic guitar on the intro and the whole thing 'sits' better. Really like your string arrangement too, nice work.
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Jamz0r
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song UPDATED!
2008/11/09 03:40:53
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This starts out with a very big sound! Nice, full, and bright. Vocals sound nice, but there are some mouth sounds coming through. The drums sound pretty weak overall, and have timing issues that distract from the rest of the music.
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Maxprizm
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song UPDATED!
2008/11/09 11:36:59
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Great vocal tone, very dark lyrics, they certainly make impact. I agree drums need to come up and there are some vocal/drum timing conflicts in places. The song got a little wordy for me, like there was no real chorus, just many verses. While this normally wouldn't bother me the music is very dynamic and it feels like it is leading you into chorus parts, but they sound like verses when they arrive. I didn't want to bash the song as it does so many things right but I would have preferred a more memorable chorus as I think the arrangement is begging for it.
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Philip
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song UPDATED!
2008/11/09 17:38:08
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Whew! What a tough audience! I'm glad I usually don't read and agree with the other crits before commenting! But, this time I gave in to my temptations. Mark, I really feel your last 2 songs shine like beacons amidst the dismal, dark, and doleful plethora of songs here (albeit, I may be a little biased toward British synth pop. ) I love your current style and direction and believe you'll outdo ELO, shortly.
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robby
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song UPDATED!
2008/11/09 18:47:19
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Very touching, very beautiful song. I'm not sure that monophonic synth fits with the beautiful nature of this song, the singing and the piano and orchestra have really sentimental feel. We the guitars and strings come in, they seem to crowd the vox a little? Maybe some panning and or keep the volume down a little bit more on those parts? Very sad, very touching, very well written.
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foxwolfen
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song
2008/11/09 19:34:12
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ORIGINAL: Mamabear Beautiful song! I love the chord progressions. Nice tune. I love the piano too. Nice job! Personally I didn't like the synth in the intro. Or at least not as loud as it is. I would check the timing at 2:15. Something starts to lag there I think. But good job. It would sound nice with just keys and vocals, but this is nicely done. Janet? Right on. You go girl! Sorry Mark, I was distracted by this and have not listened to the song. Will do so now. Cheers Shad
A scientist knows more & more about less & less till he knows everything about nothing, while a philosopher knows less & less about more & more till he knows nothing about everything. Composers Forum
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foxwolfen
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song
2008/11/09 19:38:27
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Not having heard the original version, I can only say I like what I heard here. Ste sounds like Mark Knopfler at times. Really great song, passionate singing. Cheers Shad
A scientist knows more & more about less & less till he knows everything about nothing, while a philosopher knows less & less about more & more till he knows nothing about everything. Composers Forum
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Mamabear
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song
2008/11/09 19:54:04
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What??!!!
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foxwolfen
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song
2008/11/09 20:04:38
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ORIGINAL: Mamabear What??!!! Nothing.. nothing at all... carry on
A scientist knows more & more about less & less till he knows everything about nothing, while a philosopher knows less & less about more & more till he knows nothing about everything. Composers Forum
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Mamabear
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song
2008/11/09 20:05:14
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mgh
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RE: Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song
2008/11/10 05:57:49
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Bobby - thanks for stopping by, i don't agree with you but that's your opinion. You make some valid points about overhotting the pudding, so to speak. Reece - yeah a few people have mentioned the tempo at points, i'll have to get me audiosnap out i think... Ron - it's my mate ste who does the singing. His voice is rough around the edges but it is distinctive. Hopefully you got the Brian stuff... james - thanks for relistening. i also think tis better. jamz - nice to see you popping in a bit more lately! You always have some great ideas. I'll take a look at the durms, it's session drummer 2, played thru a mix of loops and step-sequenced patterns. I've got it all compresssed and eq'd separately, but i'll have to tweak aroudn some. Ed - yeah it's an unusual structure, i had it as verse 1, bridge, verse 2, chorus x2, verse 3/outro, but how Steve sings it it doesn't almost come across like that. the song IS wordy, but boy i love those words, they tell a story. yep, i'll be looking at drums! Philip - How much do i owe you??!! yep, but that's why we post 'em here, to get that 'tough love' and hopefully improve! Robby - that synth was at the beginning of the original version, and was too prominent, hence why i replaced it, but i do like it, especially at the end...funny how you want it lowering and Philip wants it increasing!!! Thanks for listening! Shad - thanks for stopping by! Janet is getting feisty now!!
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