An Important Mathematical Proof

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Russell.Whaley
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RE: An Important Mathematical Proof 2009/04/16 00:31:23 (permalink)
So a sadist and a masochist are walking down a hall together.

The masochist turns to the sadist, and says, "Please, kick me."

The sadist says, "No."




#31
foxwolfen
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RE: An Important Mathematical Proof 2009/04/16 00:34:16 (permalink)

A scientist knows more & more about less & less till he knows everything about nothing, while a philosopher knows less & less about more & more till he knows nothing about everything.

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#32
SteveStrummerUK
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RE: An Important Mathematical Proof 2009/04/16 04:36:31 (permalink)

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

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#33
space_cowboy
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RE: An Important Mathematical Proof 2009/04/16 09:43:21 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: Russell.Whaley

So a sadist and a masochist are walking down a hall together.

The masochist turns to the sadist, and says, "Please, kick me."

The sadist says, "No."

What if that sadist and masochist were one and the same person suffering from a multiple personality disorder?

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#34
SteveStrummerUK
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RE: An Important Mathematical Proof 2009/04/16 10:38:33 (permalink)

ORIGINAL: space_cowboy


ORIGINAL: Russell.Whaley

So a sadist and a masochist are walking down a hall together.

The masochist turns to the sadist, and says, "Please, kick me."

The sadist says, "No."

What if that sadist and masochist were one and the same person suffering from a multiple personality disorder?

I didn't think of that.































Yes we did.

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#35
Beagle
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RE: An Important Mathematical Proof 2009/04/16 10:40:55 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: SteveStrummerUK

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

No, not exactly...

the glass needs to be redesigned because it's obviously been poorly designed by the previous engineering team. in addition to creating the correct volume that the glass needs to be, it also needs to have a better grip available otherwise the consumer might drop the glass and then it would be completely empty and maybe broken. the bottom of the glass needs to be smooth and perfectly angled so that its incidental surface will contact fully with the table with which it will be placed while it is not being held. the top of the glass needs to have a smooth rim around it that's not too large or too small so that when drinking from said glass the rim doesn't hinder the beverage from exiting the glass transitioning into the mouth of the consumer. but the rim also needs to be at the correct angle so that when contact occurs with the consumer's mouth it allows the lips to comfortably wrap around the rim on the bottom and allows for easy access at the top for the open mouth.

the materials of the glass also need to be considered. "plastic" will give the beverage a smell and taste that is not pleasing to the consumer since petroleum products tend to have strong odors and will allow some chemical reactance to occur with beverages contained in the glass. ceramic will give the consumer a good base as long as it is correctly tempered and buffed so that no ceramic dust will be left, nor will there be any imperfections in the formed ceramic. the mold must be cast with high quality and very low tolerances in order to adhere to quality standards that need to be in place for production of said glass. ceramic glasses, however, are more appropriate for hot beverages, so considerations need to be made as to what type of beverages will be used in said glass. silicon based glass is an excellent use for non-hot beverages as long as the quality of the glass is high and as long as the thickness of the glass is sufficient to control the requirements posted above with regard to slippage and low breakage rates.

after determining the use of the glass with reference to hot or non-hot beverages, a qualification test will need to be performed to determine the life of the glass as well as the usability of the glass with regard to temperature. specifications will need to be provided for extreme temperature testing to determine the maximum temperatures allowed in the glass for safe use. thermal shock and thermal cycle testing will need to be performed for qualification of said product before production can proceed.

of course with this redesign of the glass, a case study must be made to assure that the product will meet the needs of the consumer and changes to the redesign will need to be evaluated based on consumer feedback and need based purchasing.

safety will also need to be considered and labels will need to be designed and provided to consumers which will alert the consumer that the beverage glass:

* will not hold hot beverages (if the glass design is chosen) and that hot beverages could be hazardous to the consumer's health
* will not optimal for cold beverages (if the ceramic design is chosen)
* will not prevent smell or interaction of petroleum products contaminating the beverage (if the plastic design is chosen) and no liability is expressed or implied for anyone having detremental health issues as a result of using said plastic glass.
* is not recommended for children or infants for any of these designs based on market research and due to limited liability claims provided by our carrier, Unified Global Insurers Inc.

------------------------

Yes, I'm an engineer. And I work for a government contractor.

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#36
Texrat
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RE: An Important Mathematical Proof 2009/04/16 11:30:02 (permalink)
edgy humor != misogyny (or, edgy humor <> misogyny)
#37
Bristol_Jonesey
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RE: An Important Mathematical Proof 2009/04/24 06:19:48 (permalink)
I just say - are you going to drink that?

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#38
jackn2mpu
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RE: An Important Mathematical Proof 2009/04/24 07:44:17 (permalink)
Three guys are waiting to be executed by guillotine. First one is ushered up to the platform, head put in place, top board slid down to hold him there. The executioner pulls the lever to release the blade, it jams, and does not cut off the guy's neck. The person in charge of the executions says: "Since the blade has jammed, your life is spared."

Second person is led to the guillotine and the whole process is repeated once again. The blade jams yet again when the lever is pulled. "Two blade jams in one day. You life sir is spared".

The third person (an engineer) as he's being lead up the stairs says: "Wait - I see your problem......."

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#39
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