"Broken Dreams"

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mikeinFL
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2010/08/03 21:05:20 (permalink)

"Broken Dreams"

"Broken Dreams"
vocal, lyrics, guitar: Joe Seeholzer
piano, strings, organ: Michael John

Comments welcome on my mix of this great song by Joe Seeholzer (American Songwriter Lyric 2nd place winner).  This is an acidplanet remix- Joe provided the vocal and guitar part.  I added piano, strings, and organ. 

This mix is based on his song "Happy Birthday"- I shortened the song and changed the name (which is allowed).  The lyrics are something special indeed, simple, yet profound.

Mike

"Broken Dreams" (click Play Song):
http://www.acidplanet.com...PID=1357164&T=3214


Acidplanet Joe Seeholzer remix contest:
http://www.acidplanet.com/joeseeholzer

To hear the the original full song with all the lyrics:
http://www.americansongspace.com/jseeholzer



LYRICS (partial)

Happy Birthday
by Joe Seeholzer

Broken eyes and broken faces
Broken lies and broken traces
Broken promise - and injured lives

Broken leaves and broken branches
Broken trees and broken chances
Broken you and broken me

Have you ever seen
the broken sun through the branches
Through the leaves
against the wall off which it dances
In your mind - from which it glances
Into your heart which needs no chances
Except for right now
Except for right now

The broken parts we tend to hide away
But Jesus said - brought to the light of day
They are our salvation
But hidden away they just decay
Covered over they rot inside
All the bro-ken-ness that we hide

But through the sunlight
they create a pattern
As beautiful as the rings of Saturn

And the Buddha said - the Lotus flower
Gets its beauty from the muddy water

.....
Broken dreams and broken purpose
Everything seems to comes to the surface
Broken eyes and broken lines
All that was promised is in our minds


http://www.acidplanet.com...ongs=218528&T=5445
 
https://soundcloud.com/mike_jf
#1

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    karalie7@aol.com
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    Re:"Broken Dreams" 2010/08/03 21:45:07 (permalink)
    We love gospel songs! The softness of the song is nice and the vocal is good for the song. Maybe bring the vocal in alitte. Blessings.

    IJenNeh 
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    #2
    mikeinFL
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    Re:"Broken Dreams" 2010/08/04 15:47:01 (permalink)
    thanks IJenNeh, I will try and adjust the vocal more, but the track provided is difficult to work with- the vocal track was not provided alone, but with the guitar.  And the vocalist is singing in a wide dynamic range I have no control over- sometimes loud, sometimes soft.

    http://www.acidplanet.com...ongs=218528&T=5445
     
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    Janet
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    Re:"Broken Dreams" 2010/08/04 18:06:46 (permalink)
    I was going to mention the vocals, too, but I see you're limited there.  Anyway, very nice.  Great piano playing and the strings sound so good when they come in.

    Nice job!

    My Soundclick Page

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    #4
    peggysuechan
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    Re:"Broken Dreams" 2010/08/06 15:29:32 (permalink)
    I deleted this post because I wrote it out of jealously and spite. I didn't give the original, Joe, a proper listen because my attitude was "Cut down the guy with the awards."

    I don't want to influence anybody negatively against him with my mean vitriol, so my next post is my real feeling.
    post edited by peggysuechan - 2010/08/10 13:39:33

    If I'm practicing a sin, I'm going to Hell.
    If I'm obeying Jesus, I'm going to Heaven. 

    SusieChan.com
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    peggysuechan
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    Re:"Broken Dreams" 2010/08/08 11:44:45 (permalink)
    Well, I owe this guy a huge apology. After I had to admit to myself that I jumped all over this guy only because I was jealous of his awards, I gave it another listen.

    Well, DUH, Susie. Of course he sings low key the way he does because it's a folk song. What was I looking for, an Italian aria? I have to eat dirt here and say he's good.

    And had I listened through to the end of his original song the first time, I would have heard that he tied his theme of brokenness into the human condition, telling us that life throws these things at us. It was a song of hope, but I didn't give it a chance, I was so set on cutting this guy down.

    So when I began to really hear what was happening here, that chapel organ began to sound good. It's a simpler organ, soft and flute-like, and it fits in perfectly with a folk tune. And then I heard the counter melody you gave it, how it rises and rises, and found it fit this song of hope perfectly. If anything, it gave it even more hope.

    One thing I noticed on the second take was your ending. In the reprise, where the song was seeming to end, but then--no--the singer comes back in, well, you ended the song with a string chord. I was waiting for that organ to end it, spiraling up up up. That organ was giving the song a hopeful, uplifting feel, and I think it would sound good with some prominence in the end.

    I'm sorry for slamming this guy. I mean, he's competing in a tough field, and he needs encouragement and honesty, not jealousy and spite from me.

    But even considering the song's original merits, it is your additions that make it wonderful.



    post edited by peggysuechan - 2010/08/08 11:55:42

    If I'm practicing a sin, I'm going to Hell.
    If I'm obeying Jesus, I'm going to Heaven. 

    SusieChan.com
    #6
    mikeinFL
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    Re:"Broken Dreams" 2010/08/08 12:49:14 (permalink)
    Peggy, thanks for coming back and making that statement after changing your thoughts after another listen.

    I first thought, wow, she missed the whole meaning of the song, a theme about the broken human spirit, which is something universal in all of us.   But I see it's clear now. And yes while he is not the greatest singer in the world, I've heard a lot worse.

    It says a lot when someone apologizes to their own previous post.  I respect that.  And all is forgiven.  

    http://www.acidplanet.com...ongs=218528&T=5445
     
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    evadianepug
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    Re:"Broken Dreams" 2010/08/08 14:49:37 (permalink)
    Nice job, Mike.   Pretty song. 

     Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed. (GK Chesterton) 

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    SonarX3
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    Scottytunes
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    Re:"Broken Dreams" 2010/08/08 15:12:23 (permalink)
    Thumbs up, Mike. Beautiful song.

    String Jammer
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    Slow Marching Band
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    Re:"Broken Dreams" 2010/08/10 13:19:19 (permalink)
    This went up a notch when the string section came in Mike! Nice, ambient piano as well. I think the song has a good, folky, vibe to it. Joe's vox fit IMO and matched the lyrics or vise-versa.

    Larry

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