Jessica & Rapture

Hey, my name's Joey. I'm an 18 year old songwriter from England.

I've never posted any of my work on here before so be nice!

I recently recorded 2 songs I wrote using Sonar and uploaded them to myspace.

The first one "Jessica" is about a boy who's in love with girl but he takes it too far to the point of it being funny and rather creepy. It's a love song gone wrong.

The second one "Rapture" is heavily based on the videogame Bioshock. If you've played the game you should notice many lyrical references. 

I'm looking for comments about the songwriting and performance rather than the production as this is my very first time recording my own work. 

Everything you hear is done by me, I played all the instruments, wrote all the parts, sang all the words and produced it all. 

There are mistakes and things I would change if I recorded them again but it's all about learning!

Again I would like to stress that I've never produced before. 

Here's the link, enjoy!!! http://www.myspace.com/joeyvanzetti

hmmm. link doesn't seem to be working. otherwise.... the silence is golden.

Hi there, You have a good start, your vocal is good and in tune in "Jessica" and is suited for this type of music. You seem to have a range on your vocals and can go high and deep. Try alittle more style on your vocals. I enjoyed "rapture". Many blessings on the start of your life.

hey Joey

good start dude. you have a unique voice, in some ways it sounds almost speeded up, but i'm guessing you have some v-vocal going on? prob a bit too much for my liking. you have that commercial US pop-punk sound down pretty good, in that whole Paramore/Green Day idiom. i preferred Rapture to Jessica. nothing startling or amazing, but all the instruments are wellplayed and rcorded, and the mix sounds ok (as far as i can tell)
I'd encourage you (even if only for here) to open an account with reverbnation or soundclick or soundcloud, just because the myspace player is so crap it's difficult to critique objectively.

but welcome and i hope you'll participate by also listening to others' songs and commenting!

Nice job Joey....I enjoyed Rapture more than Jessica. It was cleanly done and mixed quite well IMHO. You have a lot of potential.....so, keep writing, learning, and improving....and posting your material.  

You have a great future in front of you.  Keep working.  I like the song and the mnix sounds good here.  Welcome!