"Take Me On" (Acoustic Rock)

I like the song, the writing is good. The arrangement seems to fit nicely. The compression/FX are over the top IMO.

This might be a style thing, so you may just discount everything I'm about to say. 

You have a staccato guitar line and mixed drum beat front and back side. Giving you a very bouncy rhythm. Which is cool, it's engaging. But...Your lyrics are trying to keep pace with it and what happens (for me anyway) is that the first time one falls of, I'm lost and I don't what I'm listening to. Which am I following? I think it works in the verse, but my preference would be to break it up in the chorus...you start to here;

[font="verdana, arial; line-height: normal; font-size: 14px; "]With the music loud ain’t gonna stop for nothing 
It’s a perfect day it’s a perfect way to remember why 
It’s you and I 


but then you have to rush to get the rest of those lyrics in.

So my opinion would be to cut your lyrics way down. I like the theme, I like some of the word choices. But my opinion would be to try to make the vocal line more melodic and vibrato versus syncopated and staccato. That's just a layering technique that I've learned with music. I think for most of the songs you'll hear today...the the beat is really harsh and definite, than you'll hear a smooth, flowing vocal, versus the singer trying to keep pace with the music. Audioslave and Foo Fighters are perfect examples of this.

Book end with this; you may have intended to give that feel and I missed it...so don't take what I'm saying to strongly, it's just a technique. It's not how is "has" to be done. I think your song is better than most I hear. Though I have heard a bunch of good ones lately.

Pretty song.  I suggest doing something with the doubled verse.  Keep the upfront one the same, treat the other with different eq, or verb or pan - you know.  Maybe T-Pain effect (just kiddin -  all you AT haters) 

I like this groove. First impressions: lose some of the rasp in the acoustic -  thats the EQ range that needs to be pushed on the lead vocal to give it more presence - put the lead vocal up 2-3 db. I like your sound.
 -Paul

Nice tune. I have to agree about the pick scrubbing being a bit too pronounced. I like the fact that it doesn't sound sterile, though. The solo worked well with the tune and for the most part the vocals seem to sit O.K. in the mix. I like the tone of your guitar!

The recording of the guitar is good. Harmony vocal parts could use some work. Drum is good.

Very cool song, my only crit would be not to have the right channel acoustic played muted all the way through the song ...a little change up would be better IMPO.

 You have a nice voice and record it clearly. I was wanting something more in the bass frequency. It's a great song that could be made even better.

Thanks guys. Make it better is what I plan to do over the next week. I finally wrote a tune that my 14 year old daughter can't stop listening to and singing along with. That point alone makes me extra proud of this tune. And I'm only going to make it better with the comments you all have made here. This place rocks. :)

I like the song.   Singing is good and i like those guitars.
Something is buggin' me bout those drums though....can't put my finger on it.   Somehow i think they should be taking up more space...is that nuts????..wider more aggressive....i don't know.
Song is good and anyone who has a girlfriend that MAKES him do music is someone i'm going to be taking notes from.