LAST CHANCE TO COME CLEAN !!

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2010/11/12 18:45:33 (permalink)

LAST CHANCE TO COME CLEAN !!



For months now or should I say almost a year Scotty , James Yo Yo , Steve and I hate to say it a few more forum members have trashed , bashed me , my music and whatever else they can think of .

I'm here for a one and only last chance and offer to FORGET & FORGIVE , ITS A TWO WAY STREET .
I'll stop trashing you if you guys will stop trashing me  , DEAL ? If not then I guess we'll keep playing the game of WAR of trashing each other .
Its really a waste of creative energy but hey I can recharge if I have to and do battle again but instead I offering a truce , your choice .

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    jamesyoyo
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    Re:LAST CHANCE TO COME CLEAN !! 2010/11/12 20:05:36 (permalink)
    James:

    In complete seriousness, the questions you have to ask yourself are these:
    Am I too sensitive about my music? 
    Can I take comments and criticism in a thoughtful, approachable and respectful manner?
    From an ego and self-worth perspective, can I separate myself and who I am from my music, so that comments good and bad are but a reflection of people's taste in music, and not of myself?
    If not: is posting music worth all this aggravation to me?

    Think about it. If you can, you are of course welcome here anytime.

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    RobertB
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    Re:LAST CHANCE TO COME CLEAN !! 2010/11/12 20:31:35 (permalink)
    That seems fair enough.

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    Shimozu-Kushiari or Bob
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    Scottytunes
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    Re:LAST CHANCE TO COME CLEAN !! 2010/11/12 21:22:56 (permalink)
    What jamesyoyo said.  BTW, whatchya got cooking in the NuWave tonight?
    post edited by Scottytunes - 2010/11/12 21:25:24

    String Jammer
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    Re:LAST CHANCE TO COME CLEAN !! 2010/11/13 00:17:54 (permalink)
    jamesyoyo


    James:

    In complete seriousness, the questions you have to ask yourself are these:
    Am I too sensitive about my music? 
    Can I take comments and criticism in a thoughtful, approachable and respectful manner?
    From an ego and self-worth perspective, can I separate myself and who I am from my music, so that comments good and bad are but a reflection of people's taste in music, and not of myself?
    If not: is posting music worth all this aggravation to me?

    Think about it. If you can, you are of course welcome here anytime.

    James you made some good points here , maybe I am a bit too sensitive in my music .
    When I was growing up for years I wanted to play drums that's all I wanted to do but then there were parents who told me over and over I didn't have what it took to play drums or play music period .
    For years that verbal abuse made me so angry I told myself I'm not going to let their comments or personal views get in the way of me being somewhat successful in music so I decided with drums I would find the best private drum teacher I could find where I lived and start taking drum lessons .
    Three years of studying drum music I finally started playing like someone who really knew how to play drums on a professional level .

    Point is I guess you might say for years growing up people in my family and some friends never thought I had musical talent and tried to tell me just give it up why don't you .
    We'll as you can see I refused to do that just give it up , I might be old now but atlease I can say I did in fact turn my dreams into reality and I'm just getting started right now.
    As long as I don't kick the bucket or get run over by a passing bus then I will make my dream come turn no one will ever take any of that away from me because inside I know I do have musical talent to so degree that like many of you here on this forum .

    Anyway maybe now you might understand me looking at it from my world , its been a bumpy road but I'm not giving up .
    Sorry to everyone here if I have been a bit of a pain in the ass at times I guess maybe my years of growing into all of this music stuff hasn't been easy for me .

    So much for the dark side of me , music for me has always been a passion for me and it will untill I die and for those who trashed me during the years when I was growing up all I can say id look at me now guess what I can create good music .

    Enough said maybe we can all get along , thanks .

    Radio




    #5
    Guitarhacker
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    Re:LAST CHANCE TO COME CLEAN !! 2010/11/13 10:24:08 (permalink)
    Man, having parents that put you down is not a good way to start off. Sorry to hear that, and that can explain why you might be sensitive to commentary on your music. I absolutely hate to hear any parent tell their children that they will never be any good at whatever..... that just makes me so mad. To me it borders on mental child abuse. Always be positive and encouraging with your children.

    However, you are hopefully an adult now and you should be able to take criticism and determine the motive behind the commentary.

    All the time I have been here I have to honestly say that the crits I have received and saw others receive have been pretty level headed and on the money. No one likes to have a bad thing said about their music or recording techniques. But, if you are honest with yourself and want to improve there is only one way to do it and that entails listening objectively to the crits both good and bad, and using BOTH to improve what you are doing. You should not react negatively to a harsh crit. Maybe ask what you could have done to make it better, but keep it positive.

    I have from time to time received crits that were pretty harsh, but after I thought about it and listened to the things they were saying that were "off kilter" in the song, I realized they were right. then I set about fixing the problem...and learned something valuable in the process. Had I taken the attitude of "screw them, they're morons" I doubt that I would have learned half the things I have learned by hanging out here for the past several years.


    I have not (to my recollection) recalled anyone here saying to anyone else that their music sucked and they should burn their guitars and give up trying to make music because they have no talent what so ever. If someone did say this.... I missed it.

    If you are adverse to criticism, and respond badly to it, you are in the wrong business. The majority of music out there is rejected by the people in the industry and some of them are pretty heartless in their commentary. You just have to let it go and keep going regardless..... and realize that they might be saying something that if you listen, will improve your writing and recording skills.

    Hope this helps a bit..... keep recording and listen to the crits with a grain of salt, and a discerning ear.

    My website & music: www.herbhartley.com

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    #6
    radio
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    Re:LAST CHANCE TO COME CLEAN !! 2010/11/13 12:14:14 (permalink)

    Thanks Herb its not like I lived badly , my family lived I guess you might say alittle better then most of the people who lived around us .
    The problem was my father who died ten years ago was so wrapped up in his job as a Real Estate businessman that he forgot how to support my efforts for being who I really wanted to be in life .
    He wanted me to be like him and I didn't want that so I really didn't get the support I needed growing up with music .
    He spent countless hours working a selling Real Estate and forgot he had family who cared about him and wanted his support .
    He made money plenty of it , turned my mother into a drunk where our home life ended up in a wreck .
    He drank like crazy but was good at holding down his job and made millions selling  selling Real Estate during his lifetime .
    The family finally fell apart before I was eighteen and they divorced .
    For years my father and mother never believed in me or my efforts for wanting to play music  .
    The last year before he died I tried out for this band and recorded some of the songs we played that night .
    When I drove up to visit him I took along that tape of me playing drums with the band .
    He ask me what I had been up to and I told him I had tried out for this band , I could tell he was thinking my God he still hasn't given up I could just see it in his face .
    So I said here I recorded the band and I would you like to listen to it thinking maybe now he might listen to it but I could see it was the same old thing no interest so I said here you can have it I have another copy of the practice .
    At that time he shoved it aside and I thought ok I guess that will end up in the trash .
    Two weeks later over the phone he said you know that tape you gave me I listened to it and you play good .
    I think that was the first time he ever said to me you did good .
    The reason I give him that tape was because I wanted him to know after thirty years I still didn't give up learning how to play the drums .
    My mother who is still alive has still been making fun of me to this day for wanting to play music .
    Last week I decided to send her one more tape of my best songs and a week later she told me I listened to the CD you sent to me and I like it .
    I said thanks mom I have been working at this for four years now , it doesn't happen overnight atleased for me it doesn't .

    My drum teacher who I enjoyed taking lessons from his mom and dad support him at a very early age at age three . Back then  he told me alittle about himself , his mom and the things he did while growing up. I couldn't help but think wow you really had some great parents who supported you while you were growing up.

    The point to this who story is if you have kids or a child who takes an interest in an instrument of his choice give him all the support he needs to grow and learn his instrument and the last thing you he or she needs is to be told you can't be successful at playing music .
    Let your kid be himself and just maybe he or she will grow up happy in life and be the person he or she wants to be in life .

    That's all I have to say , sorry for boring all of you with my years growing up .
    I guess I tense up too easily when people trash me or tell me I can't do this because I know inside I can .

    Thanks Herb for your comments and understanding , I hope maybe someday we can all get along trashing each other just isn't fun it takes away from learning how to create music .

    Radio
    post edited by radio - 2010/11/13 12:20:18

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    jamesg1213
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    Re:LAST CHANCE TO COME CLEAN !! 2010/11/13 12:15:51 (permalink)
    Guitarhacker


    I have not (to my recollection) recalled anyone here saying to anyone else that their music sucked and they should burn their guitars and give up trying to make music because they have no talent what so ever. If someone did say this.... I missed it.



    +1. In 4 years plus, I've never seen that, not once.

    James - just keep posting your music, helping others out by commenting thoughtfully on their music, and if someone says something you're not sure about, or that sounds like a put-down, just say 'thanks for your comment', and move on.

    This place is invaluable for tips, suggestions, a fresh pair of ears or 20, but most of all - encouragement.


     
    Jyemz
     
     
     



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    radio
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    Re:LAST CHANCE TO COME CLEAN !! 2010/11/13 12:27:55 (permalink)
    jamesg1213


    Guitarhacker


    I have not (to my recollection) recalled anyone here saying to anyone else that their music sucked and they should burn their guitars and give up trying to make music because they have no talent what so ever. If someone did say this.... I missed it.



    +1. In 4 years plus, I've never seen that, not once.

    James - just keep posting your music, helping others out by commenting thoughtfully on their music, and if someone says something you're not sure about, or that sounds like a put-down, just say 'thanks for your comment', and move on.

    This place is invaluable for tips, suggestions, a fresh pair of ears or 20, but most of all - encouragement.

    Thanks buddy for the tips and understanding , guess for me its venting time .
    Thinking all of this over I decided there's no point to all this trashing stuff , maybe I'm to blame ok I'll take the bullet . I just hope we can all forget and be happy around here .

    Thanks again , got to run now I just finished my song called " LOVE " with lyrics and vocals and now I need to update my other DAW RECORD so I can do the final mix on the song .
    I'll be back later  , I need to get busy with that stuff .

    Thanks ! Radio




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    Re:LAST CHANCE TO COME CLEAN !! 2010/11/13 15:29:11 (permalink)
    All too often, our parents think they know what's best for us..... thinking that what was best for them  will be best for us too.  Remember that many of them came from a time where a son was expected to learn and go into his father's business. My dad died before I was old enough to even consider it.

    But think about this..... of all the low paying professions... you wanted to be a musician. You should have seen the looks I got from my high school guidance councilor when I told her I wanted to be a musician, and she started talking about me being a music teacher in a school and I said NO.... in a BAND. and she was like..... but you have to be able to make a living!!!!

    My dad actually encouraged me to learn the piano.... his reasoning...... he lived through the Great Depression when work was hard to find..... he told me that if I knew how to play the piano, I could go to any bar in the city and play for tips and make enough to eat..... how's that for reasoning? 

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    #10
    ruralrocker2010
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    Re:LAST CHANCE TO COME CLEAN !! 2010/11/13 16:29:56 (permalink)
    You know when you got the fire inside of you it can be the motivation to keep pushing through negative criticism, and let's face it, we all get it, got, and will get it again.

    But when you turn that fire outward, you're likely to burn people. Keep the fire inside and learn to control it to the ends you mean. You'll get where ever you're going and no one can stop you but you.



    Joshua Barnes
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    radio
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    Re:LAST CHANCE TO COME CLEAN !! 2010/11/13 18:31:38 (permalink)

    Thanks everyone for your advice and support , I love my parents because they were my parents .
    All I can do is move forward and leave the past behind me , better things are ahead .

    Radio

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