Drunken Misadventures

"James, If you are referring to the Las Vegas adventure, I've got a couple of more those....unfortunately. Maybe if someone starts another thread about drunken misadventures I'll tell one."
 
Randy
 
 

Waiting for Randy

I'd tell you my misadventures if I could remember them.

You guys are unreal!

Okay then, this happened many years ago during my nightly playing days. My bass player Bill and I were pretty tight party buddies both before, during and after gigs. It was the 80's, so if you were alive during those times, it was pretty much a free for all in the rock culture. We had more than our share of everything.

Bill had met these to lovely girls, who were just dying to party with us after a gig. We had sat with them between sets, and all they could talk about was the new apartment they had just got, and how it was all fixed up, and we just had to come over and see it and party with them. They were sweet girls, and seemed much nicer than the type of girl we usually partied with, but after the last set, we decided to go over for a bit and see how things went.

Now, back in those days my regular intake of beer and liquor was quite excessive. I'd hit the stage with 2 bottles of beer and a large glass of Crown Royal. Rinse and repeat for 4 to 5 sets, and mix in a joint or 2, or a couple of lines, or all of the above. My tolerance level was quite high.

Anyways, we drove over to the girls apartment, and we all sat on the floor and started passing around a bottle of something, and smoking a few bongs, and chatting. This went on for an hour or so and the adrenaline from the gig was wearing off, so I was starting to feel like drunk luggage at this point. It was then I decided I needed to urinate.

I jumped up from the floor, and asked for directions to the bathroom, and headed down the hall. I hit the light and closed the door. I was wearing pants that had a drawstring and no zipper. So I tugged on the string and let my pants drop to the floor. It was at this point that I blacked out and fell forward. Over the toilet was one of those little medicine cabinets that had those sliding opaque plastic doors. About 3 feet long and 10 inches high. My head went right in the middle and broke the doors to pieces. Startled, I came to, and raised my head and the entire medicine cabinet came off the wall while stuck on my head. Now, quite blind, and with the contents of the medicine cabinet falling into the toilet, I staggered sideways, arms flailing wildly, pivoted, and my arms caught the shower curtain, which came popping off its hooks and I fell into the bathtub with a huge crash. The lip of the medicine cabinet sliced into my forehead, causing blood to begin streaking down my face.

After a few seconds, there was a soft knock at the door, and a voice asking "are you alright?". I couldn't quite come up with an answer so I just laid there with the medicine cabinet on my head like a rectangular hat, blood steaking down my face, and my pants at my ankles. Finally the door opened slowly, and there was Bill, and the 2 girls looking over each shoulder. Bill is looking at me, and the girls are looking around at what has happened to the bathroom. Probably the most awkward silence I've ever experienced.

So, Bill helped me up. It was quite a process, what with removing the cabinet from my head, untangling the shower curtain, pulling up my pants, etc,etc.

I wobbled out the door without saying anything but "sorry bout yer bathroom".

Never saw the girls again, but I'd bet they weren't out trying to party with musicians ever again.

Randy

Drunken Misadventures

Fortunately I've never had one.

rsp@odyssey.net

, so I was starting to feel like drunk luggage at this point. 

I jumped up from the floor, 

Must've been carry-on luggage...LOL

Some guys have all the fun.

Well since Randy broke the ice, and my Tequila night was probably the  most memorable one I can truely remember..... here's what I remember of it.

I was playing in a band that had a wedding to play the following day.... and I was invited to the batchlor party.  So my neighbor across the street ( bless his heart) suggested a bottle of Tequila since we had no weed.  A quick trip to the liquor store and that problem was solved.

My first swig managed to burn out all the taste/pain sensors in my mouth, and the tequila was like water after that.... Paul suggested that we walk to the party....over 1 mile away, in the winter, in NJ...... the only brilliant idea of the night.

So with 1/3 of the bottle already gone, mostly by yours truly, we set out on foot....and decided to try hitch hiking.  We got a ride from someone who carried us all the way to the White Horse Pike. As we walked behind the carwash, some guy pulls up in a car and asks if we have any papers. Nobody did, but I reached in my pocket and there was some TOP papers. I asked how many he needed and gave him a bunch. He reached into the bag on the seat and gave us a handful of herb.  We jumped into the woods and rolled up what we didn't drop with cold fingers. 

With a righteous buzz, and half a bottle of Tequila..... we gave the guy in the car a big drag on the bottle.  Passing a sign... we "borrowed: the letters "P"  "O"   "T"..... don't ask me why.... the sign was brightly lit and the highway was very busy.

A few blocks down the road, at the party on a side street......  We got there, and I sat down on the floor. About that same time, I passed out while barfing all over the floor, the guy next to me and of course..... myself.  I remember being dragged out the door by my hands.... loosing a shoe in the process. I layed there on the lawn the rest of the night while people came and went..... wondering if I was alive.  An accident on the corner with the pike routed traffic down the street.

My buddy came out and got me up sometime after midnight. He helped get me in and cleaned up a bit.... I had really long hair and it was a mess...... A friend drove us home and that was the only time I ever was drunk enough to see two of anything at the same time. All in focus too.

At home..... my mom came in an in her best mom voice..... Oh look at you... disgusting!

Next morning.... she was the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes..... wanting to know what went on...... ending with something like...well I hope you had fun......!

We played the reception..... barely. The smell of food made me nauseated. That hangover lasted 3 days..... TEQUILA!

Well.......................................


I have had no drunken misadventures......................


Only complete stupidity...................


During my drinking years  I only caused grief and it seems like I only did dumb things that hurt others.


I eventually hurt people I loved, including some very close friends. 


Although I had no problems with the law..........


I quit drinking on July 26 1992.....................


I have not had a drink, taste or even a sniff of alcohol since............. 


No beers, no wine, no J.D....................nothing..............


I hope to never venture back into the world of alcohol.............

 Or drugs for that matter............

Sorry to be the stiff in a lite-hearted thread.............. 


 

Well, Vegas is known as the place for drunken misadventures. If you've ever been out on the strip ( L.V. Blvd. ) at 3:00 to 5:00 am you'll see a whole slew of them winding down. It was Dean Martin who said, "When I'm drinkin, I'm stinkin". When the wind is right on Sunday morning you can get a contact high hangover if you're downwind from the strip. I had many such adventures in my younger days. One I'll never forget happened at a music bar called Captain Americas back in the late '80's. There I was drinking Crown, minding my own business, listening to the band. An old neighborhood friend walked up and we talked a little and decided to go outside. When I stood up to put my vest on, this new cocktail waitress runs into me with a full tray of drinks and spills them. She then tells me I have to pay for the drinks. I told her "you ran into me it's not my fault". She calls over the assistant manager who blocks my attempt to leave and demands I pay for drinks. I tell him no, and he picks up a beer bottle and swings it at my head. So now we're fighting while I'm trying to get out the door. While he's holding on to me another guy leaps on my back from across the room. We struggle into the entrance at which point the manager dissapears into the bar. I can't get the guy off my back so I run backwards and slam him into the pay phone, which falls off the wall. I get outside, guy still on my back, he gains control and trys to slam me through a storefront window and then he trys to throw me over the second story railing. He soon dissapears back into the bar and here comes the manager again. He's threatening me while I punch him in the face. He leaves, I go call the police, apparently so did he, the police arrive, I"m telling him what happened when out comes the manager again. I point to him and say "that's him" and click, click, I get arrested and thrown in jail for disorderly conduct. 36 hours and a $90.00 fine later I finally go home.

No criticism implied or offered, just sharing some of my story...  

I'm not in that phase any more and glad of it - what seemed like a great deal of fun at the time was actually avoiding serious things I should have confronted long before I did... 

These days, that kind of misbehavior would contradict some important meds that keep my head above water, and I have no desire to revisit the depths they keep me out of.  Too high of a price for backslidin'... 

yep, don't miss those days.

Now, if I could just kick this nasty crack habit........


Randy