Dr. Visit

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually.. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NO LISTEN! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger.. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!


Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.


AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans..


CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

bayoubill

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

I'm a gonner

So I should learn another language?

Karyn's the only one on this thread who speaks "English" - the rest of us speak "American" - and some of us speak "Texan"!  Karyn's the doomed one! 

Tap


 The puck isn't going his way

I had a typewriter like that once JR
 
 

Beagle


Karyn's the only one on this thread who speaks "English" - the rest of us speak "American" - and some of us speak "Texan"!  Karyn's the doomed one! 

I don't give a puck!

Karyn

Beagle


Karyn's the only one on this thread who speaks "English" - the rest of us speak "American" - and some of us speak "Texan"!  Karyn's the doomed one! 

I don't give a puck!

I've heard that about you! 

Beagle


Karyn's the only one on this thread who speaks "English" - the rest of us speak "American" - and some of us speak "Texan"!  Karyn's the doomed one! 

akrarcwaoowh?

ohworcwo rooohu akrcooscahcwowa ra rcoocwo rrrarcwawowh?

bapu

Wookiee

Beagle


Karyn's the only one on this thread who speaks "English" - the rest of us speak "American" - and some of us speak "Texan"!  Karyn's the doomed one! 

akrarcwaoowh?

ohworcwo rooohu akrcooscahcwowa ra rcoocwo rrrarcwawowh?

craigb

Wookiee

ohworcwo rooohu akrcooscahcwowa ra rcoocwo rrrarcwawowh?

bapu

Wookiee

Beagle


Karyn's the only one on this thread who speaks "English" - the rest of us speak "American" - and some of us speak "Texan"!  Karyn's the doomed one! 

akrarcwaoowh?

ohworcwo rooohu akrcooscahcwowa ra rcoocwo rrrarcwawowh?

scrarorhwo ra rhwooarawh rcoocwo rrrarcwawowh.

Wookiee

craigb

Wookiee

ohworcwo rooohu akrcooscahcwowa ra rcoocwo rrrarcwawowh?

bapu

Wookiee

Beagle


Karyn's the only one on this thread who speaks "English" - the rest of us speak "American" - and some of us speak "Texan"!  Karyn's the doomed one! 

akrarcwaoowh?

ohworcwo rooohu akrcooscahcwowa ra rcoocwo rrrarcwawowh?

scrarorhwo ra rhwooarawh rcoocwo rrrarcwawowh.

ah'sc whooao rhrchucacahwhrr raanan aoacoocwo rhwooarawh rcoocwo aoacoorcwhc oohuao ooww acahc wwhurc...
 
 
...rarrraahwh

You can have this one, Karen!