Bapu watch

As we speak, Bapu should be boarding his flight (delayed, but that's Chicago for you ) for the last leg of his cross country journey to NY.  The word has been spread, and it's all over the local news.  All of Long Island (pronounced LawnGuyLand by the locals) is abuzz with excitement.
 
A feast jammed with local dignitaries who fought over the limited seating will be in the offing upon his arrival.  And then, of course, he'll have to attend to his chores.
 
It's rumored that Apple has released an app called "Where's Bapu?" for the purpose of tracking his movements around the east coast and midwest.  It can be ordered thru Buoy Enterprises, Ltd., at a cost of $1.00 US which according to a gent identifying himself only as "JB," works out to approx. 1,872,314 GBP.

 

Bapu watch

 
 
It looks like this Phil...
 
 

 
 
 
 

 And while he's enjoying his stardom in Long Island, Steubenville OH prepares for his arrival. One resident spoke up at a town meeting stating "This is the biggest thing that has happened here since our hometown boy Dean Martin went off to make records" It was decided a ticker tape parade in his honor to start with, the parade will end up at the court house where we will unveil the bronze statue of him staring up into the sky, holding up 2 bass guitars, one road worn 4 string, that looks like it may have floated down the river for a spell. And one hand built Spacey 5 string. This is to signify....something or other.  We will be taking down the statue of that Steuben fellow now that it has been decided that we are the only ones on the planet that ever heard of him and we don't even care. Lastly he will be given the key to the city.... Oh it will be big doings alright.