Planet Wax

This morning, I used a cotton swab to remove some ear wax.  I removed a rather sizeable ball of the stuff.  I'm not saying it was freakishly massive, but it did have it's own gravity and atmosphere.  I'm not sure, but I think it also supported a thriving civilization.  I'm pretty sure I saw pyramids on part of it.
 
I wasn't sure what to do with it, so I left it alone.  My wife asked me if I had seen her slippers.  I told her that I had last seen them in a decaying orbit around my ear wax planet, but they might have survived re-entry.  We conducted a search and finally found them embedded in one of the southern continents.  I told her I could probably dig them out, but she said she'd rather buy new ones.  I can't say I blame her.
 
She said it was taking up too much room, so I rolled it outside.  A couple of bunnies, three or four chipmunks, two finches, and an aluminum siding salesman were quickly absorbed by the wax.  I looked closer, and I could see large cities sprawling across the surface.  That civilization was growing pretty fast.  A couple of neighbors said they didn't want it left there since their kids would be out soon and they still wanted to keep them around for tax benefits.  I suggested that we launch this thing into space where no one else would be hurt.
 
Someone called NASA, who promptly spent their annual budget on soy-lattes.  The Eurpoean Space Agency hung up on me when they heard my American accent.  China expressed an interest, but only if they could use it as a weapons platform.  Just when all seemed lost, the residents of this ball of wax discovered space flight.
 
I met the first crew of waxonauts.  As you might expect, they were quite disappointed.  Once they reported their findings to the rest of their population, a huge argument spread across the globe.  Some demanded that they go to war with humanity.  Others insisted that they should give peace a chance.  War smacked Peace down and asked, "Who's your Adult Male Role Model?"
 
A massive fleet of ships armed with the the most devastating firepower the Waxians had ever seen swarmed from the surface.  Unfortunately, the entire armada flew directly into a bug zapper.  Seeing their fleet utterly destroyed, the population demanded that Emporer Nubby Vulbernip be given a stern lecture.  In the wake of their global embarassment and distress, Top Scientists released the X1z product.
 
They fired it up and the wax planet launched and flew away.  I stood and watched until it disappeared into the clouds.  I wished them well and hoped they would find their place in the universe.  As I drove off to go to work, I choked back a tear.  I miss them already.

Spielberg called me back.  He liked the idea, but said he wanted to consult with ****pit on how he could dumb down the story for an American audience.  Somehow, it seems likely that the phrase, "I'm king of the wax!" will find its way into the culture.

Chicago beaches tend to produce other movie scenarios.

Shrek just blew his out on the table and lit it.
No big deal...energy efficient.

Fantastic Thriller!! I liked the way it just kept evolving....before I knew it, I had to re-read to see how it all began.
Any clues you can give on the sequel?

Uhhmmm....I was talking about the story, but I see that this is pending further developement....

This must have done wonders for the mass problem you raised a short time ago, when your senior management decided you should be subjected to culinary torture.

57Gregy


Did you see that Mythbusters episode where they tried to make candles out of ear wax?

Oh yeah - that was REALLY disgusting!  Judging by their reactions, it's a good thing "Smell-a-vision" isn't popular!