ROCK-N-ROLL with evadianepug

I must apologize, I've been gone for a while. I don't really know why, mostly trying to get my life back together, buy my house, raise my kids as single mom and all that after my divorce, I guess. I'm with someone else now who really supports my music so the world is new.
 
Within the past summer, Warren, myself, and a few others have been hard at work recording, but naturally we've had some disagreements and we've come to an impasse. Some of the songs are not done, but I think we're all about giving up. We still thrive on feedback and part of the reason we come so far individually is in part to this board. So in fairness to Will, I'm posting this first song entitled "Rock and Roll" for critique.
 
Usual story behind this one from us: Will wrote some riffs, I spliced and diced and added lyrics and melody, Warren performed and outsourced some of the rest to the gang. Like I said, it's not finished and I'm not sure that it ever will be, but a song is not a song unless it's heard, so I hope you like it but all critiques welcome...
 
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=1208769&songID=11138408
 
Beats/Rhythm G's, Will Stratton
Lyrics/Melody/Vox, Dena Maynard
Bass/Harmonica, Warren Willingham
Lead Guitar, Mark Cline
 
 
 

Dunno what it is you're all disagreeing about, but you really shouldn't give up your work together IMHO - what I've heard so far of your tracks really sets a standard for most of the rest of us to aim for, and probably epically fail, but we'll have fun trying anyway.

As for this one, maybe the vox is a little too forward and it could do with beefing up a little in the low end - at least that how it sounds on my lappy speakers. Not really the best listening environment I know, but I generally find that the very best mixes sound good even on here.

Don't give it up guys - way too good for that.

Nice song!

One of the toms is rumbling the mix when it hits. Probably the low toms. The lead is too forward in the mix. Your voice is just a tad to forward.

Nice work!

Great song and arrangement! Sounds great! The guitar is a bit over he top volume wise as is the harmonica and vox, but hey, there's always that thing called re-mix. Killer bass lines, Warren!

This is a great smooth but rockin' number with some frenetic beats.  Wonderful performances by all and a great arrangement.  I don't know what all the "discussion" is all about but it sounds doggone good to me.  I don't have any comments about the mix that haven't been said above.
Cool stuff y'all.
 
Freddy J

I loved the beginning, didn't quite get the chorus. The beats, the vocal approach/processing, the thin guitar, it just goes kinda sideways away from the promise of the first 20 seconds or so.

The harmonica is awesome, but totally sounds hodgepodge.

The breakdown at the end sounds great.

TBH, I can tell from this track how you all got frustrated...

I listened to this several times on different days before I decided to comment. I like the verses. 

The chorus however, I guess could work, but the drums are over the top. Much to busy IMHO .  Was that a live player or a drum machine/loops? 

The lead guitar at 1:55 is out of place.... to brash sounding... I'd calm it down a bit (tone wise) my tweeters were smoking! What is played works ok, the tone does not. 

It's easy to set here and say this part works and that part didn't but only you guys can actually make that call.  

I liked the verses a lot. The drive is there, a good groove is happening and life in the R&R world is good. In the chorus, not so much. However, if the goal is punk rock, this might do well.  

Nice work on what you have, but I can hear why you guys are having problems and issues. I would have opted to re-write the chorus a bit more. The melody of the first line in the chorus doesn't work for me. 

Once you get it figured out, and fix the bugs, this will be another cool song from you guys. I'd call it a work in progress.  


edit: I didn't address the lyrics.... and just about anything can work lyrically.... but I would consider some lyrical editing on V1.  " cat with a kissy face"?  You can talk about things that make you insane in a more better good manner..... I know you can. 
Verse 2 rocks lyrically.... make v1 fit to allow v2 to expand on that and this will be killer.  It sounds like V1 is just a "filler" because you couldn't think of something good at the time.... go back and have another look at V1, IMHO it doesn't sound connected to the second verse. I do like the last line in V1 "I don't know how to control the things....."

The idea for the chorus was that the boys were to actually sing/yell "rock n roll" and I would do the follow up lines.

I love Will's rhythm guitars and I think they shoulda been turned up to add more rhythm and mids/crunch in the song.

There's almost a noise on the vocal track and I don't know if that's processing or not so I went back to check if there's something on my track, but I don't think so, but it's hard for me to tell as it may have been louder during amplification. Either way, I hear it too so I'll have to make sure it's not on my end.

I'm gonna have to disagree about the lyrics though. Every kid in my neighborhood and my kids' whole elementary school is singing the first verse and chorus since some of em have come over and heard it. I'm the 'kissy face cat mom' and they run up to my van wanting to know if I'm gonna make a video too.

Dena,

Like the song, lyrics, mix, vocals and overall playing.  I will agree with some of the previous posters, the intro creates a strong expectation of excellence and continues through the verses but by the chorus it kind of all falls apart.    The drums are too busy and it just really doesn't work at all.  I also will say I like the harmonica solo but not sure it really fits into this song in the current context.   You definitely have a winner in the song, just needs some fine-tuning here and there.    My suggestion would be if there is disagreement over the song would be to let whoever is responsible for the intro, outra and verses be the lead producer as it seems the general consensus in this thread is that these are the best parts.  That said, nice work and very enjoyable.

Regards

Sometimes, when I'm working on a song that is like this, in the respect that some parts are good and work, and others, not so much.... I will often just put it on the shelf and walk away from it. I will revisit it later, maybe a few months down the road, to see if it still has a spark or not. 

At that later listening session I might even get a better idea for the "lacking parts" to fix them..... OR..... it might be one of those songs that sounded good at the time...."hey, this is sure to be a top 10 song" but in reality it's just another stepping stone on the road to writing better music. 

I have notebooks full of song ideas like that.  Having a DAW and the software to create music easily has resulted in me having folders, as opposed to notebooks, that are full of unfinished or abandoned songs. All of them started with good intent, and something in them sparked creativity, but the idea or concept didn't work out in the end.

I guess what I'm saying is, even though you have obviously put a lot of work into it, don't be afraid to let it set for a time or abandon it completely if you can't seem to get it "right" .... go on to the next song that is in you. Don't waste time and energy trying to "fix it now"... if that is proving to be a mountain too high to climb right now.  

Heck, you might write a bunch of songs in the next year and a year from now, go back to it and have the spark of inspiration that does allow you to finish it...... 12 months from now. I know I have had that happen. 

Don't get stuck in the ditch on this one.....



edit: I have folders named "Song Tank 2009" and so on depending on the year. They are "tanks" to hold ALL the song ideas I have in a given year until I finish a song..... then it goes to a different folder. I can go back, and I do, from time to time to see if anything is clicking..... or not. I'll very often do this when I have no current project to work on. More then one time I have been able to resurrect something from those old ideas and finish it.

ha... that was a hoot... way cool...... more please...

great stuff. suggestion. you need 30 people singing the rock and roll chorus with you:)... BIG.