Forever Free- REMIX per your suggestions

Here's my latest song that I managed to whip up just before Christmas.  I'm still open minded about the mix, and I would love to hear some opinions on this.  It was recorded in X1c, and is entirely in the box.  It can be found here: Forever Free at www.soundclick.com/lynnwilson.  Just scroll down a ways past the video, and it will be at the top of the song list.  Thanks to all who take the time to listen.

1/4/12- Here is the remix I promised earlier.  Based on you suggestions, I placed the rhythm guitar a bit more to the center and brought up the synth tracks in the left channel.  I boosted the bass gtr. and drums while leaving the vocals untouched.  Below are the lyrics for those who requested them.


When you rub two sticks together
They say that you get fire
If you put us in the same room
You couldn't get much higher
            We are the ones who want to make a difference
            We are the ones who pay
            We are the ones who want to make connections
            We are the ones who stay
When we put our heads together
There'll be no mistake
We can't have it any better
The future's ours to make
 
REFRAIN:
We're at a moment in time
Only we exist
We're at the end of the line
We're so hard to miss
 
Some things just can't be done alone
It's always better with a friend
And, if we have to stay at home
The world's not gonna end
            We are the ones who are always making changes
            We are the ones who drive
            We are the ones who are always going places
            We are the ones alive
 
REFRAIN (2x's)
 
If you're looking for adventure
There's no better place to be
You can find us in the backyard
Underneath a tree
            We are the ones who are always looking forward
            We are the ones who see
            We are the ones who will never take for granted
            We are forever free


Thanks again for taking the time to listen and respond.
 

Hi Lynn basic song sounds OK, mix needs a little work in my thinking. 

There are better people here than me for that.

However these are my observations.

The guitar on the right channel is way to out front and way to hard right.

The bottom end seems a bit weak.

There something else but what I can not tell but theres something????

Thanks for sharing

Hi Lynn

I like the song structure, the vocals are excellent, as is the bass and lead guitar plying.

I'm not crazy on the hard panning or the female vocals mid way through, but that's just my humble opinion. 

Still enjoyed it very much - it's catchy! 

Bill

Lynn,
I liked the qwerky sound of this.
I also liked your vocal treatments.
For me the bass was a bit thin.

Thank you all for replying.  I'm beginning to see some trends here; panning too wide, bass too thin, Himalayan cat on the synth, etc.  Fortunately, these are things that can easily be corrected.  It's really great to have extra ears listening on various systems when I'm working alone in my basement.  I will let this go tonight, and remix tomorrow and repost.  I hope that you will give it another listen and let me know what you think.  Thank you so much.

I really enjoyed this tune Lynn.  Excellent work!

My only critiques are the bottom end seems a bit thin, drums need to come up a little, and I think the hard panning of the guitar on the right and synth on the left is a bit too much.  Maybe something like 70% would work better.

Hi Lynn,

Cool song and it actually sounds really good on my laptop...for whatever that's worth

I like the synth parts...especially that 'chirpy' sounding one in the verse.

Very nice.

Others have made some valid comments on the mix....

I liked the lyrics.  Post them next time becasue my hearing sucks anymore and its easier if I have the words in front of me.

This really reminds me of something from the 60s but I can't think of what it is.  When I do I will post it.  So familiar a sound. 

Good song!

Daryl