Abigail - New Rock Acoustic

Guys,

Here's another idea. The backstory on this song - is that I was reading a furniture magazine and strumming my guitar. Capoed, but liked the key, so I kept it. I was singing the words in the magazine and came up with this melody and loved it. The name abigail isn't a woman, it's a dresser. But dont' tell anyone, less'n I get famous!

Here's the song; I'd really like to know how people 30 and above respond to this song. I think this is part of where I'm heading as an artist. Like previous posts, this is just a scratch pad. Just meant to make sure I don't forget what I came up with. I appreciate any and all crits...

http://soundcloud.com/joshua-barnes/abigail

I like the recording in this better then the end of days tune...

It's more intimate with the mic.   Songs with girls' names...... ummmmm... reminded me of Angie in a few places. 

Are you gonna fix it and expand it? 

GH,

I think that's what I'm trying to figure out - i've got about 16 of these kinds of songs and I'm trying to figure out which ones should go full production. I like this song because of certain aspects of it and in an intimate setting I think it could be really cool. Ultimately I'm trying to vet what I think, publicly. I think the risk of being an artist is being too afraid to do something you don't like, or something you don't think is your best work; but frankly, I do because sometimes I get surprised and actually learn something about myself through other peoples feedback.

your vocal in this sounds very earnest if not quite perfect

Lynn


Hi Joshua, your vocal in this sounds very earnest if not quite perfect.  Once I noted in another song that it sounded like your key was too high, but you said that you were singing in the middle of your range.  If that's so then you are correct in saying that maybe you should try another technique.  You have a fine voice, but it sounds raw sometimes.  The guitar sounds nice and full, and the performance is good.  I'm impressed by your prolific songwriting.  Keep em coming.

I'm not sure what that means. Can you try to lay on me in the ungentle way? I also realize that some people may completely love it...so it's all relative. I'm just working through it to learn what I can.

I agree with your comments Lynn.  Trying the same song in a couple of different keys and with lighter stronger delivery, and chest vs. throat can help you Joshua hear ALL the possibilities your voice has.  When I was in bands, we would check the key of the song all the time to see what worked the best for the vocals.  Once we had the range, it really helps the song presentation because you then concentrate on the whole emotion of the song rather than a technical issue.

Your song writing shows much promise because it is original and you are not trying to knock the world out.  When you write for yourself first, you will have a good chance of bringing others in.  Your song writing will improve and you just need to work on delivery.  It's all there to work with.

Rimshot 

Aside from the obvious pitch problems, which is cool since it is a scratch track, I like your voice in this key. The nature of this song requires some drama, and getting close to the top of your range does the trick for me. Maybe start the first half in the lower key, but definitely get up to this one when you record it.

Loved the Song Joshua!!!