Damned

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BENZOFOG
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    Lynn
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    Re:Damned 2012/04/10 09:56:02 (permalink)
    By the time this song ended, I thoroughly enjoyed it. The mix was full and warm, and I liked the synth part that was playing in the background. The voices were well done, too. Except for the vocals, the overall vibe reminded me of The Red Hot Chili Peppers. The lyrics were somewhat predictable, but not so much to be distracting. Good job.

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    #2
    spacealf
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    Re:Damned 2012/04/10 10:58:50 (permalink)
    I think it could have had a little more punch in the chorus of the song, because it sounded a little too much like the same volume throughout the song. Hard to say how much more punch, but at least a little more at least in my opinion, since we are all damaged.

     
     
    #3
    ruralrocker2010
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    Re:Damned 2012/04/10 12:18:36 (permalink)
    It's got cool parts, but the sum of them don't really make it memorable. This seems to be the difference between excellent craftsmanship and just good or even very good. The distance between the two, seems to grow farther with every song I write....my point is - I probably won't remember thsi song tomorrow - and that's not what you want.

    I would work on a hook that's more memorable with the melody. It's not the meter, it's the hookiness of the melody. It's not very distinct from the melody of the verse. In fact, I would think that the current chorus would be a great pre-chorus into a full on change up in the chorus with a melodic chorus hook.

    Overall, I was bored by it, but not unimpressed. I know how hard good songwriting is for the average bear - me included. I hope this helps.

    Joshua Barnes
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    #4
    BENZOFOG
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    Re:Damned 2012/04/10 22:24:08 (permalink)
    Thank you everyone for listening I really appreciate your opinions. Thanks again.
    #5
    BenMMusTech
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    Re:Damned 2012/04/11 03:16:50 (permalink)
    Sounds like Alice Cooper slighty, the vocal tone and the chorus.

    I like it.

    Don't think I've heard any of your stuff before.

    Like the chorus lyrics too.

    Good Stuff

    Benjamin Phillips-Bachelor of Creative Technology (Sound and Audio Production), (Hons) Sonic Arts, MMusTech (Master of Music Technology), M.Phil (Fine Art)
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    #6
    Rimshot
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    Re:Damned 2012/04/11 08:05:43 (permalink)
    Starts great.  Lead vocal is a bit soft.  I would drop the synth in the verses.  Need more definition on the drums (muted sounding).  I wish the lyric could have said " I was just like you, damaged through and through..."  I can relate though because I have been there too. 

    Rimshot

    Rimshot 

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    #7
    haiser
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    Re:Damned 2012/04/11 09:58:38 (permalink)
     I would think that the current chorus would be a great pre-chorus into a full on change up in the chorus with a melodic chorus hook. 


    #8
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