For Adults Only: Craigslist Post (Read At Your Own Risk)

This was on Craigslist........I have no idea who wrote it 
 


Looking for someone special who would kill my drummer for $100.00. Do not fear any negative consequences for this act. Any self respecting law enforcement agency would gladly turn the other cheek once they hear this guy "play". I am tired of hearing his 70's style fills put in the wrong spot and ending one half beat early or late depending on how much he's had to drink. I am tired of him standing up behind his drums between songs and ripping his shirt off and flexing his muscles at wedding receptions where we were hired to play Air Supply, Carpenters , and Ann Murray songs because "chicks dig the pecs, dude". I am tired of him showing up 20 minutes late for rehearsals then pouting until someone helps him load in his drums, then taking 30 minutes to set them up and needing a smoke break every 15 minutes, then wanting to leave early because "this chick is so fine, I can't say no, and she knows record people dude, so it's for the band." I am totally done with him calling me up at midnight to play me some damned jazz fusion album from 1981, crying and saying how we shouldn't have sold out to "the man" and asking if I know anyone who can get him some weed knowing full well I smoked twice in 69 and never touched it after that. I am sick of him farting on stage where the drum mics pick it up and thinking this **** is funny. I am tired of kicking off slow ballads at well under 80 bpm only to have them morph into the methamphetimine version of flight of the bumble bee, because that's the tempo he "feels" it at. I am tired of having to carry jumper cables to the gig because "I must have left the dome light on again, dude" instead of admitting his 84 oldsmobile is a worn out piece of crap. I am tired of him asking when he's gonna get a drum solo. I am tired of paying his tab at restaurants because "that chick must have stole my wallet man, but it was worth it 'cause she was a phreak". I will not move my amp again so he can put another new cymbal on the stage, because "when we learn some fusion I'll need this sound".........please somebody kill this ****. I can't do it because he's my brother and mom would be so pissed off even though she thinks the band would probably sound better too. Besides, if you are good at killing drummers, you could probably make a lot of money in this town.

Feel the same about my sisters sometimes  

Truth hurts....

Jonbouy


So, a guy shows a bit of individual character and then gets victimized for it.

says the drummer....
 
 

Can't they just drop him off somewhere?  I doubt he'll find his way back...

(Funny stuff!)

LOL. Damn funny stuff.

The life and times of Bayoubill.
In theatres this Summer.
Screenplay by Oliver Stone and Rob Reiner.

bandontherun19


Why not use Ann Murray's Carpenters to cut off his Air Supply? Wouldn't that be the humane way to end this?
 
(What do you call someone who hangs out w/a group of musicians? A drummer...)

EEEWWWWWW!!!! Bad Bad Bad!! LMHO!!!!

Jonbouy


So, a guy shows a bit of individual character and then gets victimized for it.

Funny hearing this ... when I lived with a band in Santa Barbara, Tom and Dave were creating all kinds of things, and I sat on Tom's drum kit (beautiful royal blue kit with 10 toms a la Carl Palmer) and on one of his pieces I created a drum part ... off the feel of it. He used it, to help the build up on the song to the punch line!
 
Sometimes, the less you know the better it is ... but you can't use that to play top ten! And shouldn't.
 
Anyone ready to create a band called "NoMusic!"? And if you want to play the T-spoons, were going to make sure that both Vangelis and Faust look absolutely stupid and pretentious!
 
There's a group here in Portland ... something or other Orkestra ... and the whole thing is so sadly pathetic ... that it begs for Jon to bring a tin can, Pedro to bring his one string, Grant can bring his 13 strings, and then we can find something for Strummy to do ... oh yeah ... he gets to bring the farts ... did I miss anything? (We can call it the Ad Nauseum Band! -- but NoMusicAllowed! sounds better!)