Anyone experience any of this?

Karyn


Rain, I wish I had your "problem" with songwriting.  I've written/co-written maybe 3 good songs in my entire life and two of those were borderline bollox.

Rain


Twice. 

Lesson learned - I married a musician. ;)

Before I met her, I had actually pretty much accepted that I'd end up alone. If you've ever heard the song Every Day is Exactly the Same by Nine Inch Nails, you've heard the story of my life back then.

I pushed her away for 2 years before I didn't feel like I had anything to offer to anyone. And I really didn't have anything to offer to anyone "normal". But she kept at it...

Now I'm writing music for her and acting as her recording engineer when she has stuff to record for collaborations w/ people. For a living I mean. We're traveling the world and seeing places I had never dreamed I'd see (I had never been on a plane before I met her).  I've met more interesting people and made more contacts in a single month w/ her than I had in my entire life.  But all of that has got nothing to do w/ life. Of course it's cool to do those things together, but my best memories, the moments I keep the best memories of and which make me go forward are those insignificant things, like going to the grocery together on a certain wednesday night, or opening up a bottle of wine and lighting a cigarette for her on a Sunday afternoon...

You know, way back in the days, I remember an interview w/ Jason Newstead just after he left Metallica. And he was saying that those guys in the band had families and so many things going on in their life, while all he had was music. And I felt like I could identify w/ him, somehow.

Then sometime later he broke his shoulder and couldn't play music. What did he have left? And I remember hearing the story while I was in one of those darker moments, when my ex had just left me, and my life just seemed so unreal. 

And I looked back and realized that what I didn't share w/ anyone is lost, man. Writing music is like an unquenchable thirst. Every day is exactly the same. You get back to it and fight, but it's never enough, every little success only last minutes. 

And when you look back, there's nothing worth remembering. Life's just so unreal. I realized that I needed someone who'd make me go out of my routine. It's easy to be me and to just write, it comes naturally but what's worth remembering, what makes life worth living is all the stuff you do for someone else - even if it makes you cringe. 

My best memories have nothing to do w/ the time I spend in the studio - as pleasant and rewarding as they are on the spot. They're all about that time when I interrupted myself and followed a friend to a Sushi restaurant or to watch a stupid movie. Life's in those little holes, in between. Life is going to the grocery w/ your significant other, or cleaning up after the cats. Writing music comes by default. 

Bub


Sorry Rain, but I have to disagree with you. Theres no reason there cant be balance in a relationship. My wife has absolutely no interest in music, but its never been an issue. 

We're all gonna die, and that situations comes quicker than anyone realizes so I have no regret for doing something I love by myself. But again, my wife and I find balance. 

It sounds to me that your preoccupation with music borders on obsession and you just found someone to share that obsession with, and theres nothing wrong with that either. 

I have no regrets of the hours, months, years that I spent in a band playing out and the time I spend in my home studio. But Im not obsessed with it either. My wife says, lets go do something, and I hit the kill switch on Sonar and dont thino twice about it .... usually. ;)