Dealing with abusive, psychopathic clients

Don't really know what to do about this customer of mine. We've worked with her for about 2 years and had a couple of "incidents" with her before, mainly when she was drunk. But she's apologized and everything seemed OK. 

Tonight out of the blue, at around midnight, she started texting me abuse over some unimaginably trivial thing. That was the last straw, so I told her that we couldn't work with her any more. From that point, she's been texting me barely coherent abuse and thinly veiled threats. They stopped around 2am. Must be close to 150 texts. They came in groups of 5 or 6, seemingly unconnected, some of them stopping abruptly mid-sentence. The only replies I sent her were to request that she stop texting me and that any further texts would be considered criminal harassment and that I'd be contacting the police tomorrow. 

Didn't have any effect. They just kept on coming. Real gratuitous abuse. At some point, she decided without any basis whatsoever that I was harassing her, so the texts turned into "stop harassing me this is harassment OMG I will talk to my lawyer friend tomorrow and have you arrested you are through I will tear you down you will get what's coming." 

I just sat back and watched them come in without replying to any of them. Don't really know what to do about her at this point. My first instinct is to contact the police tomorrow and show them the texts. I'm also looking for an iPhone app so that I can record any calls in case she makes them, not having much luck though. On the one hand this is someone who needs help. On the other, I don't need this kind of abuse. I'm pretty stressed out at this point and know I'm not going to get much sleep tonight (sometimes I wish I still "indulged" in the herbal relaxants!). This is New York City and you just never know about some people. 5 years ago I had a client who turned out to be a multiple killer (David Garvin) who shot a bunch of people in the West Village. Really made me think....customers often ask to do a background check on me or my employees, but really, I should be doing a background check on them! 

Yep that's exactly what I'm going to do. She just sent another string of them and it's now 2:40am. 

Yep. I'd get some sort of "official" report raised even if it doesn't go any further at this point.

I always wondered where my ex-wife had got to.

FastBikerBoy


Yep. I'd get some sort of "official" report raised even if it doesn't go any further at this point.

I always wondered where my ex-wife had got to.

She's probably out drinking with the ex-girlfriend of mine who stabbed me in the arm with a fork. 

Remove her from your life

They must be real threats if you are going to bother the police.   She has to have threatened you with bodily harm, or you are just wasting your time.

Anyways, in my line of work, I have to be extremely careful what I say to people or I can get sued, loose my license, and even brought up on criminal charges.

I wasn't this good when I was younger, believe me I had, "no filters."  I've gotten to be a lot more tactful in my old age.

How to diffuse a nasty client 101:

1.  When a client gets enraged, take their side of things.   Do not ask them to, "calm down and relax."  Show you are just as upset, and totally agree with everything they are saying.

2.  Hand the client a form designed to diffuse a situation.  Companies call this piece of paper a variety of things, "complaint, customer survey, customer request, grievance."  Its basically a form that asks for name, address, phone, email, a description of the problem, hand written by the customer, time to be called back, and a bunch of check-boxes about who the customer would like to speak to.

3.  If you own the business, you have two options.  Broken into two categories.  Complaining customers on the phone, who you always need to, "call back, after you have figured out what the problem is," or complaining customers in person, who you must, "promise to get back to, later today, or tomorrow, when you have thoroughly examined the situation."

4.  If you do not own the business, and are not a supervisor, then the correct way to do this is always two options, depending on phone, or in person.  For the phone, "put the customer on hold, for no more than 45 seconds, and let your supervisor deal with it."   For in person, "have the customer wait at the service station, while you take a moment to look for you supervisor.

5.  If you are a supervisor, then as soon as you are in front of the customer, you agree with them, you take their side, become their ally, and go through the instructions of filling out, "the customer survey."

95% of the time..   This is going to be the last of it.

The other 5% of the time, lawyers are getting involved and you or your company are in boiling water.

I guess there is also, ".01% of the time, where the lunatic customer gets violent," beyond the scope of my post, imho...

Be glad you don't have to work for a psycopath. Both my supervisor and his supervisor are of such character. Litigation is soon to follow.
 
There ought to ba a law against allowing psycopathic people into the mainstream of common folk. It never turns out good for anyone.
 
I'm really just tired of dealing with it!
 

.

Turn the phone off at night? 

If there are threats of violence or physical harm in the texts, show them to the police. 

Follow the official chain of command in dealing with this and get it documented.  She can not erase the texts she sent, and be careful how you respond because all that is being saved too. 

Do not respond to her at all. Not even to tell her to stop. 

You have done that already and if she won't stop, you telling her to stop over and over simply keeps the confrontation in motion which is what she wants. 

Use call blocker. 

Linear Phase


They must be real threats if you are going to bother the police.   She has to have threatened you with bodily harm, or you are just wasting your time.

Anyways, in my line of work, I have to be extremely careful what I say to people or I can get sued, loose my license, and even brought up on criminal charges.

I wasn't this good when I was younger, believe me I had, "no filters."  I've gotten to be a lot more tactful in my old age.

How to diffuse a nasty client 101:

1.  When a client gets enraged, take their side of things.   Do not ask them to, "calm down and relax."  Show you are just as upset, and totally agree with everything they are saying.

2.  Hand the client a form designed to diffuse a situation.  Companies call this piece of paper a variety of things, "complaint, customer survey, customer request, grievance."  Its basically a form that asks for name, address, phone, email, a description of the problem, hand written by the customer, time to be called back, and a bunch of check-boxes about who the customer would like to speak to.

3.  If you own the business, you have two options.  Broken into two categories.  Complaining customers on the phone, who you always need to, "call back, after you have figured out what the problem is," or complaining customers in person, who you must, "promise to get back to, later today, or tomorrow, when you have thoroughly examined the situation."

4.  If you do not own the business, and are not a supervisor, then the correct way to do this is always two options, depending on phone, or in person.  For the phone, "put the customer on hold, for no more than 45 seconds, and let your supervisor deal with it."   For in person, "have the customer wait at the service station, while you take a moment to look for you supervisor.

5.  If you are a supervisor, then as soon as you are in front of the customer, you agree with them, you take their side, become their ally, and go through the instructions of filling out, "the customer survey."

95% of the time..   This is going to be the last of it.

The other 5% of the time, lawyers are getting involved and you or your company are in boiling water.

I guess there is also, ".01% of the time, where the lunatic customer gets violent," beyond the scope of my post, imho...

This is excellent advice for resolving complaints or disputes that are at least semi-coherent. The trouble is in this case, she didn't even really have a complaint or dispute. It was just "you are an a-hole, I never liked you, we are through, I'm going to send my boyfriend over, who do you think you are you stuck up POS, oh my God stop harassing me!" Towards the end it was even more bizarre stuff like "those bottles weren't even mine, you are sexist." No way to resolve something like this really, she's many sandwiches short of a picnic. 

So this morning she continued via email. I caved, and told her I was going to the police. Now she claims that the texts were a mistake and meant for someone else (even though she frequently referred to me by my full name and made reference to the services that we provided to her). 


Here's the real funny part - she's a TV presenter! 

Hope you get it sorted.

I would touch base withe police if you are getting worried. And if she is serious about getting lawyers involved I would not be posting about her on the Internet at all.

Some us who have been unemployed for over 14 months now only wish we had abusive, psychopathic clients. 

bapu


Some us who have been unemployed for over 14 months now only wish we had abusive, psychopathic clients. 

Well wtf am I then? 




Pfffft 

Mooch4056

sharke

FastBikerBoy


Yep. I'd get some sort of "official" report raised even if it doesn't go any further at this point.

I always wondered where my ex-wife had got to.

She's probably out drinking with the ex-girlfriend of mine who stabbed me in the arm with a fork. 

Sounds like we have the same ex ..... Wow .... Small world 

I think I keep dating the same woman over and over. 3 years ago I went out with a woman who went nuts on me after 2 dates, spend the whole day calling me and crying down the phone then hanging up, then called me again at 2am to apologize and that her friends were driving her to a psychiatric hospital. I really don't know what it is I'm doing to these women. 

UbiquitousBubba


I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that it may have something to do with Psych Ward Speed Dating.

I suspect that approach may be fundamentally flawed somehow.

Everyone thinks it.
Bubba says it.

In regards to ex-girlfriends;

After my 21st Birthday I went steady with a woman (slightly older than me) who worked for the police.  Anyway to cut a long story short; the woman told me in detail about her ex-husband serving time in jail --- so how did he end up in jail?......  

.... shortly after the husband filed for divorce the woman (his wife at the time) set him up with highly illegal drugs placed under his driver seat then called her friends she worked with --- the Police.

Also her daughter was terrified of this woman (the girls mother), I felt sad for that little girl, such a great kid but the woman (mother) treated her horribly (not that I witnessed anything enough to warrant arrest) but still, it was a concern for the fact that the girl was so terrified of her own mother. 

Also one night the woman spiked my coffee with drugs, it knocked me out and after I woke up (14 hours later) I noticed my gear was ruffled up --- she went through my personal belongings. 

Of course I broke up with her and never saw her again and never answered her phone calls.