The best job application I have ever received

I think this even beats the guy last year who said "currently I am training to become a clown."
 

Blind ambition...

Reminds me of the part w/ all those job interviews in Step Bothers. :P
 

double post

sharke
But their emails are usually full of spelling mistakes, or they write in that horrible SMS text shorthand (plz msg me if ur hiring) or they use a non-respectable email address ("joeythebongmonster@aol.com") or they have no idea how to sell themselves as a valuable employee ("I can work Mondays, Tuesday afternoons, Wednesday mornings, all day Friday and sometimes have a free Saturday afternoon. I may need the occasional day off at short notice if my agent calls me in for an audition"). 
 
 

I had a few of them under my indirect supervision in a call center. I remember one of them in particular who refused to go to the bathroom during his breaks because it was HIS time.
 
He'd walk back in from his 15 break - not a minute earlier -  log in and place his line hold and walk right out to go to the bathroom, wasting 4 or 5 minutes. Sometimes I'd walk out to go to the front desk and catch him on the phone.
 
I think they finally managed to gather enough material to fire him after he posted pictures of himself basically grabbing his butt at work with the comment "Hard at work at (office name)" or after he called in sick one morning but posted pictures of the wild party they had the night before on his Facebook. 
 
These kids can't imagine the consequences of their actions because they never had to suffer those consequences. The guy I mention above had made Facebook-friends with almost everyone in the office, including a few girls from HR and his direct supervisor, giving them full access to everything he posted on FB. 
 
A lot of older folks have missed a shift in their life because of a wild party, but they were bright enough not to take pics and bring them in the office.

Facebook is like an evidence locker......
 

Job Title: 
Crash Test Dummy 

Description: 
Lets face it, a dummy is not real --- we need real, we need YOU! 

Bonus:
Health Insurance and all the Becan you can eat!!  

paulo

craigb
1 point for honesty
0 points for being hireable

I once went for a job interview.
 
The guy asked " what do you think is your biggest fault?"
" I'm too honest " I replied.
He said " I don't see honesty as a fault."
I said " Well, I don't give a rats arse what you think"
 
I didn't get the job. Can't win.

Years ago I had a guy put this for the reason he left his previous job:
"Fell in love, fell out of love, couldn't sleep or eat"
 
Another guy, who was a little scruffy and applying for a mechanic position.
 
Current employment: Bin doin sum ruffen and sidden.
 
 
Hired the first guy. Second guy....not so much.
 
Randy

My wife and I went out to dinner the other night with some friends. Olive Garden. Our friends knew the clean cut young man who was our server. Jeff made the comment that the young man was "looking sharp".
 
At this, the server says..... Thank you....Yes Sir, I could either express myself, or, I could get a job and make money. 
 
I think this young man "gets it".
 
I didn't see what he looked like before, but he was looking the part for success.

Speaking of lying.
 
Back in the day when I was hiring tech people I got a resume to a "blind" ad from a former employee who I had to let go for shoddy work, missed deadlines and general lack of understanding of our software.
 
She stated in her resume that she "completely re-wrote the Accounts Payable module".
 
In fact she modified the check printing program (which had to be "completely re-written" after I let her go).
 

I once interviewed a guy who went on and on (and on and on) about how he had written a program with an IF statement and a loop.  I was in the room with another manager who thought she might need him if I didn't and she had her head tilted down so her hair could cover the fact that she was crying because she was laughing so hard.  He didn't even notice.
 
Then, after 8.5 years with that company, I went back to the MUCH higher paying consulting and ended up at the company that same guy was trying to "upgrade" from.  The put me in a 4' by 4' cube with short walls two cubes away from that guy who was completely paranoid that I would tell everyone he was looking for a new job.  I didn't, but I did have to admire his ability to fall asleep sitting straight up in his chair, looking at the monitor with his hands on the keyboard.  No idea how he as able to do that!