Anyone Else Ever Play a Funeral?

 
  Given the kinds of funerals I have attended in the past, I never would have imagined that some people have music at funerals. Yesterday was my 4th funeral. Christmas music.... Christmas music and then.... a funeral.
 
 The main subject of the proceeding isn't present, at least in the sense that we are. I was about 10 feet from the casket. Am I the only one who gets asked to do these kinds of things? Anyone else ever play a funeral?
 
 I played one several years back for a friend who had died in mid age of cancer. The family asked me to play a few songs. I did several others that came from people who knew people who knew me.This last one was a request from a friend who had lost his mother. 
 

Same. Its always hard. I've done a few for friends and family. I usually end up playing a hymnal or one of the deceased favorite songs. Its always hard, especially seeing all the raw emotion of those that are there to pay their respects.

My buddy Wolf, knowing I was the Chaplin in my CMA motorcycle chapter at the time, and knowing he was going to die shortly from cancer, asked me to "preach" his funeral. I had never done anything even close to that let alone under such extenuating circumstances, speak for 15 to 20 minutes at a funeral. 
 
It was a hard eulogy to give.  After I spoke, there were a number of his musician friends who set up and played bluegrass, and it turned into a party.  I know he would have wanted it that way.
 
Wolf>>>>>  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DmLXESjGWs
 
He was a really good friend so I could not say "no" to him. It was an honor for me to speak at his funeral.
 

When my friend Willard died, his nephew played Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here", one of Willard's favorite songs.
Most of the audience/congregation sang along.

  I am surprised that this is so common. I have never played for a close family members funeral. I can't imagine doing that, but if I were asked I probably would. Randy I'll bet that was tough  indeed.
 
  Herb that is quite the tribute video, something else I guess I never considered. Tribute videos to friends. Thanks for sharing it.
 
 The funerals I have played involved the audience, more like a group event. A brochure with a couple of songs listed scattered in between family recollections and poems. I was honored to be a part of it but it felt a little odd too. Everything was tense.  The music seemed to make things less tense and directed thoughts in more positive directions.
 
 The deceased was a wonderful hard working older lady of German decent. A dedicated Christian woman, although I never  got to know her, I heard plenty of good things about her. 
 
 I'm not really comfortable playing funerals, but I guess there really aren't too many people who are.
 
Funerals are sad, they signal endings and new beginnings and big changes even though I believe some of that can be for the better.
 
 I hope its awhile before I'm asked to do it again.

Funerals are usually too expensive. I'll probly never get to play one.

I have. It was the funeral of a friend's dad and I actually didn't really know the girl all that well and had never met her dad. I guess she had been meaning to ask me to visit him in the hospital with my guitar because he was an old rocker and guitarist. Her and her mom thought it might cheer him up to jam with me a bit but then he passed very suddenly. She was an extremely nice person and when she asked me... well I felt weird about it but there was no way I was going to decline. He was into old timey rock and roll (Elvis, Buddy Holly, Roy Orbison, etc...) and I was a crazy punker metalhead who dabbled in some of that kind of thing on my acoustic but I didn't really know many of the tunes. She had seen me do some figured the family would like it. They made some requests and some particular ones that he used to play for his wife (who was obviously attending) so I crammed and practiced like a bastard for the couple days notice I got (did I mention this was a solo gig... yikes!) and tried to make the songs sound reserved and respectful enough for a funeral without totally sucking the life out of them.
 
So that morning I shined up my boots, put on the fanciest clothes I owned, combed back my hair and nervously made my way up to the funeral home. I had never met any of her family before and the only people I knew were her and her friend (whom was actually I girl I knew much better and had introduced us). Well I awkwardly stumbled in with my battered old guit covered in stickers and there's a group of about a dozen people all sitting there in the parlor (his wife, his grown sons, a couple brothers, a sister and their spouses) and they point me to a chair they had set up for me. I was so nervous I quietly said hello and shuffled over with my guitar to the chair and started setting up. I didn't realize until I was sitting down that I was right in front of the casket. Oh man... oh man... the nerves really started going then. I played for about a half hour with the small group watching and would stop in between tunes to chat with them. It was all very casual and intimate. Then it came time to play mum's favorite Elvis song that he used to serenade her with and I flubbed a line. I felt so bad but I did keep going and she didn't seem to mind but man... worst possible time for a brain fart. I mean... it was THEIR song and here is schmucko me trying to create something special and I flubbed. To them it was probably just a stutter and a couple misplaced words but to me that moment will haunt me forever. Yeesh. They were very nice, down to earth people though and it was a very nice service. No pomp, sermons, weeping or heavy duty sullenness. Just some folks remembering their dude and weirdo me feeling like a weirdo.
 
When it came time to leave the mum and daughter tried to give me the money they had promised me and I said I really didn't want it... that I wasn't doing it for the cash but they were insistent that I take it and the daughter said her mum would be insulted if I didn't. I thought I'd better not press the matter because there was a definite salt of the earth/we pay our bills vibe going on and took it. Then I went home and drank heavily because that was one of the nicest but absolutely most stressful gigs I've ever played. I think I became a better musician because of that day and the preceding cram session and really... it's quite the memory.
 
:-/

Hi,
 
Of the over 300 poems I have, there are 4 eulogies.
 
Two of them I would have gladly read them, were the folks near the situation cool to it, but they weren't and they didn't want another wacky artist near them, that took away their beloved. They went for a new age theme instead.
 
One of them, was my mom. But it would probably get the whole family irate, with a couple of us cheering on! Has too much "truth" in it, and it is a searing solo the likes of which Jeff Beck has never dreamed of!
 
The last one, is a sort of satire on Luis Bunuel, and the like, written a la T S Elliot with women coming and going and thinking of Michelangelo and changing diapers in the corner! And a lot of their "inner minds" don't get left behind, so the story (like Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie) goes inside all of their minds and pops from one to the other, and they are all remembering their affairs and such!
 
So, do yourself a favor. Don't invite me to a funeral!
 
For me, they are a moment to enjoy and live. Raise a glass and say Long Live the King. He's dead ... thank god, and now we can continue on!