Petition to reinstate petitions

Excuse me, Beagle, but I don't believe you completed the proper form to request a petition. While the creation of a petition was once a simple, straightforward process wherein a petitioner would create a post containing the petition, a subsequent petition was submitted which created a more formal process.
 
In short, the process now requires the petitioner to submit an Intent to Request a Petition Creation Form, (IRPCF). This form must be notarized, witnessed by exactly two and one half persons, and approved for submission by the Intent to Request a Petition Creation Form Task Force, which is a sub-committee of the Unified Unaffiliated Individuals Association (UUIA). Upon submission of the IRPCF, the Chaotic Nomads of Desolation (CND*) will evaluate the request within 43 weeks or whenever the goat runs out of ammunition. If the request is approved, the CND will send their approval, along with the necessary authorization code, via telepathy. Once the petitioner receives this approval, the petitioner will travel to the secure terminal located at an unmarked lunar base where the petitioner will enter the correct authorization code. In addition to displaying the official Request to Create a Petition Form (RCPF), the terminal will immediately self-destruct. Upon completion of the RCPF, the request will be routed via carrier chicken to the Center for Petition Management and Becan Testing (CPMBT). The CPMBT meets every 2,837th Thursday to review requests. In the event that the request is reviewed and/or the CPMBT chairperson is not accidentally decapitated, the CPMBT will issue their decision inscribed upon a slice of sliced Cheddar cheese and secured inside a random package in a grocery store. Upon receipt of a favorable decision, the petitioner will follow the directions inscribed in the cheese slice to create the petition in the ancient Mmvlurgian language of dance (north eastern dialect). The petition will be translated by the Monks of the Purple Earsocks - Military Exuberance Division, (MPEMEB) into French. The MPEMEB will then use Google to translate the petition into English, often with hilarious results. Upon completion of the translation festivities, and the subsequent cleanup, the petition will be flung by the Baboons for Gregarious Indifference and the Proliferation of Multi-Person Vehicles Parked Indefinitely Near a River or Other Flowing Body of Water, (BGIPMPVPINROFBW) to the surface of the sun. After the petition cools to Absolute Zero, the petitioner may then post the petition in question.
 
It's just that simple. If this process was followed correctly, Beagle, you should be able to produce the necessary paperwork to prove it. If not, then I am afraid that your petition may be declared null and void by the Gleaming Mucous Covered Grand Vizier of the Sunglasses Stand at the Mall (GMCGVSSM). That's just the way he is.
 
Unfortunately, the original petition suggesting this process change was subsequently deleted due to the Recursive Extraneous Petition Removal Petition, (REPRP). Immediately thereafter, the REPRP was deleted. 
 
 
 
*Chaotic Nomads of Desolation also happens to be the name of a band that recently vaporized while attempting to subvert the petition creation process. It's okay, though. They were an Air Supply tribute band.