Breach of the Pearl - by Voda La Void

New acoustic song from 1995 I just re-recorded.  I think it needs an actual intro sequence of some kind, really.  
 
What I'm worried about on this tune is I'm not sure you can clearly hear the half step guitar progression during the verse.  It kind of needs to be realized, or the melody is just flat.  I can hear it, but then, I wrote it so I know it's there.  How about you?
 
Breach of the Pearl 

Funny you should ask...I do.  In a later project I re-did this one as a heavy version, if that's what you mean.  I will eventually redo that one too - it has mixing problems.  
 
Thank you for listening.  I'm glad you can hear the progression!   

Very interesting chord progressions. It actually gives me an early Led Zep vibe. My only recommendations (which are non-trivial) are that the whole thing feels like "an intro." Maybe about half way through I would bust in with the bass and drums, lead guitars, synths and orchestra? Kazoos, bag pipes, gongs, didgeridoo's etc... But trust me when I say "I know" everybody's a producer... I'm hearing "more aboriginal percussion..."
 
(Warning there's a brief shot of boobies, "nice ones." and some zesty language. It's a classic musician/band movie.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bF3HPqfW5ZU
 
When you gave birth to this one, was it a "Breach Birth?" I know I'm probably "Breaching to the choir?" You could subtitle it, "Life's a Breach and then you die?" I'm sorry for that right there Lord.

Dude, this is simply ethereal. Beautiful work. Your vocals are vicious in the chorus. Love your voice. The guitar chords are very discernable as they change. My only nitpick is that I heard some pretty bad low end plosives on the vocals during the "b" and "p" words. Throwing a HP filter on there should take care of the majority of it. I always look forward to new material from you. You never disappoint. Thanks for the treat.

Good scthuff there VLV.

bapu
What is really amazing is that you wrote this song while drumming.
 

^^^^^^^^^
 
Nothing much to add to the comments above - really cool song.  The chord progression is clear and the vocals sound great (is that a phaser?).    Yeah, the guitar timing could be tightened up in a few spots but that doesn't bother me much since it has a classic (read: un-quantized) feel.
 

Voda La Void , that was very good  
I like how you played your guitars in a traditional capo styled voices and the treated them to the type of panning and effects that one would hear in some of the Cakewalk synth demos ..where the sounds are in a state of constant movement on the soundstage ...
I can hear the Led Z.. type of thing on the guitars , also I was getting an Aerosmith Dream On type of vibe on your vocals in a few places …
very good production …as far as your chord progresions ..Yeah I heard everything ..
I'm used to playing and listening to very sophisticated chord changes and i felt yours were logical ... 
normally I always listen first and then maybe read other peoples coments ..
I do understand what Robbie was saying and bringing up when he mentioned that at times the song sounds like a long intro …
i personally think it was a great listen as it is now , yet I am willing to agree w Robbie that if you ever was able to bust in with the drums and a full band that it would take this song way over the top ….
an easy way for you to experiment and accomplish that would be to make a separate project of the electric version at the same bpm  …and then slice and dice the 2 things together in places in an audio editor to see if that would work for you or not.
 
Kenny

Thanks Daryl and Robby for the listen.  Suggestion noted, since I have a heavy version of it I may play around and splice them together. 
 
rebel - man I hear you, I would have preferred a tighter performance myself but I struggled to play it clean, especially hitting that first chord of the main riff clear and bright. 
 
Leadfoot - I'd like to take your advice on removing the plosives, I knew I could hear something...  HP filter huh..
 
Thanks Creating Noise, I think we're seeing eye to eye on this one, ha ha.  I was actually inspired by Zeppelin's Battle of Evermore.  Love the dreamy style acoustics with soft/aggressive vocals. 
 
bapu - well thank you very much mr bapu, sir
 
stevec - I've got plain ole Cakewalk flange on the vocals, thanks for giving it a listen. 
 
Thanks URIELSUITE and evadianepug - glad you guys liked this one, I was really hoping it would appeal. 
 
kennywtelejazz - I'm definitely going to try splicing this up with the heavy version and see if it can still feel unique enough for me and not too predictable.  And yeah I panned the guitars and back up vocals fairly extreme too.  I'm glad everyone's hearing the music change.  I didn't want to have to lay a bass track and mess it up...(but then again...)  Thanks for the review Kenny, much appreciated. 
 
 

The Band19
" I didn't want to have to lay a bass track and mess it up..." Bass is the soul of the music sir..

Oh I love bass Robby.  An instrument I never appreciated until I started playing and recording it, and really using it to write.  But I don't feel it on this one..

I thought this was really very well done!
 
The guitars on either side compliment each other very nicely and the vocals are outstanding!
 
Very well done!!!