Mandolin Pickers, etc.

Now, I've never met nor spoken to our MandolinPicker, but reading his post it occurred to me that I've never met a mandolin picker I didn't like. My grandfather - my genetic template - was a mandolin picker, so maybe that's it. But every mandolin player I've ever met has been a cool dude. (Never met a lady mandolin picker, which is surprising given its diminutive size and delicate tone. You'd think ladies would be drawn to it.)
 
That got me thinking about players of other instruments, and the stereotypes that have formed in my mind over the half-century I've been interacting with them.
 
Take drummers, for example. They're the ones you want to party with, but you don't give them your home address.
 
Bass players are the dependable ones you can count on to actually bring food to a potluck and kick in gas money.
 
Piano players: you can talk politics with them, but they're not around when it's time to haul the PA up the stairs.
 
Singers: you can talk about them all day long. By that, I mean that they are their own favorite topic of conversation. Girl singers in particular seem to have complicated love lives that require extensive discussion.
 
Percussionists live on a farm, grow their own vegetables, have an endless supply of pot and live with 6 cats.
 
A pedal steel player is the guy you want along when the van breaks down. They'll be able to improvise a fan belt out of duct tape. Compared to assembling their instrument, automotive mechanics is child's play.
 
Guitar players live in their own universe but are usually upbeat and happy - as long as they're the loudest noise on the stage.
 
I'm sure these are just my own prejudices. Feel free to tell me about the mature, responsible drummer you know (or are), or the gloomy stick-in-the-mud guitarist you had to endure on a cross-country tour.
 

The drummers I've played with have been interesting..the more accomplished they were, the less fun they were to be around. One of the worst drummers I played with was the greatest to go out on the town with, and the guy you could rely on if there was trouble; he always had your back...mind you, he also started most of the trouble..
 
The best drummer was such a tedious dullard I couldn't wait to get away from him after rehearsals and gigs...unfortunately he thought he was hilarious, and would bafflingly break into endless 'comedy' monologues between songs..even at gigs...

paulo
In my experience..........
 
Drummer..... safe pair of hands but a bit dull.
 
Bassist.........hard to dislike, but infuriating at the same time. Absolutely no concept of forward planning.
 
Guitarist.......often moody. Happiness directly proportional to how much of the rest of the rest of the band he
                   was drowning out.
 
Singer..........chronically insecure and actually far better than he gave himself credit for.
 
Keyboards....total poseur who was just winging it and hiding lack of real ability behind fancy synth noises.
 
 
No prizes for guessing which one was me ! ;)

Would I be crass if I said any juan of them?

bapu

paulo
In my experience..........
 
Drummer..... safe pair of hands but a bit dull.
 
Bassist.........hard to dislike, but infuriating at the same time. Absolutely no concept of forward planning.
 
Guitarist.......often moody. Happiness directly proportional to how much of the rest of the band he was drowning out.
 
Singer..........chronically insecure and actually far better than he gave himself credit for.
 
Keyboards....total poseur who was just winging it and hiding lack of real ability behind fancy synth noises.
 
 
No prizes for guessing which one was me ! ;)

Would I be crass if I said any juan of them?

 
Nah, that would be cool - I've never bin hard to dislike or better than I give myself credit for before.

In my limited experience:
 
Singers: "Hang on, there's no need to panic. Stop having a screaming fit and calm down. Wipe your eyes and catch your breath for a moment. There. That's better. No, I can't hear you when you start whining like that. Are you ready to settle down? Okay, where was the last place you remember seeing your mirror?"
 
Keyboards: Sometimes, I think they love to change keys without warning just to watch the bassist sprain his brain. You realize that there is a point where experimenting with music theory becomes an impediment to playing "Louie Louie", right? Also, nobody is perfectly on pitch, so stop telling the guitarist to re-tune between every song.
 
Guitars: For all of the posturing, grimacing during solos, and frenzied berserker playing style, some are surprisingly girly when they break a nail. In addition, their version of "helping" during the load-in/load-out process consists of carrying their own amp. There are notable exceptions, of course. Some ask you to carry in their amp for them.
 
Bassists: "Dude, I'm not kidding, the front of the stage is that way. It's where it has been all night. No, that's a fire escape. Yes, I'm sure. I know the guitarist is re-tuning again. He listened to the keyboardist. Yes, your speaker cabinet is bigger than his. What do you mean, 'How does the next song go?'"
 
Drummers: I sit in the back. I don't dance around the stage. I don't pose for the fans. I don't toss my silken locks over my shoulder. Granted, that may be because I don't have silken locks anymore, but you get the point. Also, I can't dance. Anyway, I'm working here. Yes, I got here hours before the rest of you to haul all of your gear and I'll be here long after you've all gone. I'm the one who helps everybody remember what song is next. When you lose your place and you can't remember what verse we're on, I'm the one who will guide you home. I'll give you a drum fill to clue you in when it's time for your solo. Yes, after the show, you'll greet fans while I catch my breath, wring the sweat out of my shirt and start tearing down the gear. It's okay, though. Most people want to keep a certain minimum safe distance from a drummer out of a sense of self-preservation. You can't blame them for having standards. Hang on. Watch me now. I'm making eye contact with you and giving you a big drum break. That's right. It's time for your solo.  
 
Audio Engineer: I work with morons. Not the clever, creative, or cute morons, mind you. No. (sigh) "Your vocal is already up in your monitor, the reason you can't hear yourself is because you're holding the mic two feet away from your mouth." "Oh no. Don't you glare at me because you played the wrong chord. Maybe if you showed up for a rehearsal once in a while you'd know how to play the songs." I used to have dreams, you know. I wanted to work in a nice studio with great musicians and be a part of making some audio magic. Instead, I'm running sound for a band that shouldn't be allowed to play for the Grand Opening of a 7-11. (sigh) "Yes, I turned up your guitar for your solo. You rock, dude." If that monkey on the drums keeps smashing that crash cymbal like that I'm going to shove it down his throat. My head is pounding. I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. (sigh) It's only been 10 minutes. Did that bassist just fall off the stage? Maybe it's not too late to go back to filing papers at the insurance agency. Oh, good. the drummer found his cowbell. That will be the next thing I cram down his gullet. I work with morons.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
jk :)

My father had every record by Homer and Jethro he could find.
 
An example:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64h_MRQkZpc
 
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=homer+and+jethro
 

Everyone left  banjo players off the lists.......And probably with good reason..... I guess that's because someone gave him the address to the gig... but it just happened to be in a city 50 miles in the other direction from the actual gig.....
 
But on the positive side, his instrument can be used to pound railroad spikes if you need a hammer in a pinch.

Karyn, I thought those comments about the engineer might hit a little too close to home. Sorry for triggering any bad memories or PTSD. Also, there's no need for the drummer to know the difference between his toms when they are all tuned the same. (I can't stand it when drummers don't know how to tune their own drums. The thing between the ears has some data storage and processing capability. Try using it for something other than a spare woodblock for a change.)
 
Whether someone is an audio tech, musician, or plays bagpipes, there's no excuse for acting as though they are superior to everyone else. The best musicians I've known have also been the most humble. 

A guy I used to know played keys in a local Chicago jazz fusion band in the early 80's. Their band featured a juggler who, quite literally, juggled objects on stage throughout their entire set. The band was called Juggular and they stood out from all of the other acts. I believe their debut CD from 1980 is still available at CD Baby. (No, I'm not affiliated with the band in any way.)
 
Anyway, I thought of this juggler as I contemplated other "overlooked musicians" who could be mentioned in this thread. (The jugglar was also a percussionist, so the use of the word musician within quotation marks is valid.)
 
The band was remarkable to watch live even though they never made the leap from local band to national touring act. I don't know why I'm rambling about them now other than to give a nod to those unusual acts which stood out in some way.
 
 

To be more precise: Bubba likes rodeo clowns and jugglers. Clowns are much funnier when they are fleeing from a 1,600 pound bull with anger management issues. Come to think of it, rodeo jugglers would be pretty entertaining, too. 

Drummers were always drunk and/or stoned at the gig.  then when they showed up for practice, they were always drunk and/or stoned. and when it was time to pay the bar tab, they were passed out in the back of the van with their arms wrapped tightly around their snare.
 
Lead singers, both male and female had a makeup competition.  in one band we had one of each and they would always see which one could wear the most makeup.  by the end of the first set, they both looked like Alice Cooper because their makeup had sweated down their faces.
 
lead singers also tried to get the roadies and FOH people to wait on them...bring them beer between songs.  that worked out really well.  one day one of the roadies got tired of being a "fetching boy" and put exlax in the female diva's beer.  she was already drunk and said something didn't taste right, but drank it anyway.  the last set of the night was all male vocals.
 
roadies are devious.  if you piss them off they'll piss in your case.  or leave a squirrel your case and make sure and throw it on the bus before you get it out to open it at the gig.
 
bassists are wound up tight and don't know how to relax.  their curly hair is wound so tight around their head they cut off the oxygen to the brain.  they never let their bass go thru the FOH and always crank up their monster bass head and cabs so that they are the only thing you can hear on stage and in the audience.
 
lead guitarists are worse divas than the lead singers.  they ARE the show.  just be careful when they are doing a Pete Townshend windmill or you might get caught in the mic stand that gets flung into the bassists' amp, falling over backwards off the stage and into the ditch behind the outside theater complete with running water.  sparks will fly, smoke will pour, screams will ensue breakers will blow and lights will too.
 
the amount of hair spray needed to satisfy a lead guitarists' style is directly proportional to the amount of ego he has over the rhythm player.
 
the rhythm player is the rock of the group.  sitting back and watching all the drama between the lead guitarist and the vocalists over who looks better in spandex and big hair.  when a fight out back starts up between the lead guitarist and the male vocalist, he will rush in...after finishing his beer and cigarette...to separate them before they claw each others' eyes out.  smacks them on the back of the head and tells them to straighten up and get back to work.
 
the female lead singer and the bassist were the "official" couple of the band, but everyone except the bassist knows that the lead singer is "secretly" having an affair with the other lead singer.  after all, who else is as pretty as she is in the band???
 
the keyboardist is always the smartest guy in the room and therefore always the most socially inept.  watching the keyboardist "dance" on stage while pressing one button on the keyboard every measure is like watching a walrus having a seizure during an earthquake.  when trying to "schmooze" the ladies he looks like "Dick" from the TV show  "Fridays" (youtube it if you don't remember that show - the actor was Michael Richards).  he also was completely ignorant of approaching people during drug deals and would often get pushed around a little when asked to leave.