Helpful ReplyTo Be or Not To Be...

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Rain
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2015/03/27 15:24:17 (permalink)

To Be or Not To Be...

I can't remember which author, in his biography, said something along the lines of "I wasn't sure I was a writer but I was sure I was nothing else."
 
Looks like a first composition gig may be coming my way in the not so distant future. It's an odd feeling to see things potentially getting into motion after so long. Obviously, that's when the impostor syndrome rears its head. 
 
For the last couple of years, when people would ask me what I did, I'd usually reply that I was a "housewife", and that I also wrote music for my wife and that I was putting together my portfolio. I've never been inclined to call myself "musician", not formally anyway - to me, that's sort of a title bestowed upon one, and one that you constantly have to earn. 
 
In my world, the notion of "unemployed musician" doesn't really exist - because, if you don't find work as a musician, you can still find work doing whatever. I come from a very blue collar type of background, and it's odd for me to have gone through the last couple of years as a stay-at-home husband, even though I sure kept busy.
 
I guess meeting my wife forced me to challenge the notion. Even in tough times when the gigs were few and far between, it was clear to me that she was a singer, born to sing, born to be on a stage. But it's hard to apply that to oneself.
 
I still think of myself as a nobody, but she refers to me as a "musician" and a "composer" - actually, that potential gig, like all the rest, came through her because she has all the connexions. But I have a tough time accepting that title. I'm just a guy who dabbles w/ music. There's nothing mystical or magic or formal about it - I just naturally gravitate towards that field.
 
But more and more, it seems as if I have to look and even be the part. It's weird to think that an old-school hard ass, bigoted ignorant such as my dad who did all he could to smash our ambitions and remind us that manual labor was our lot should end up having raised two "artists" like me and my younger brother - who's an amazing painter and a musician in his own right.
 
But I guess it worked as he certainly instilled self-doubt in at least one of us. 
 
I am lucky that we don't depend on my skills for a living, because there'd be a heck of a lot more pressure. Still, I can't help but feel something like vertigo when I think of having to come up with music, something very specific, for an exact duration, and basically on command. I've done it a few times in my late 20's and 30's but, I guess I had a bit more arrogance, and I dove head first.
 
Contemplating that fist step - with a bit more wisdom and being of grateful disposition - certainly feels odd. Yet awesome. :)
 
 
 
Did I just pull a SonicFan?
 
 

TCB - Tea, Cats, Books...
#1
craigb
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/27 15:47:22 (permalink)
Occupation:  "Cat Herder." 

 
Time for all of you to head over to Beyond My DAW!
#2
jamesg1213
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/27 15:59:03 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby Rain 2015/03/27 16:06:13
My advice Krist, FWIW, is don't analyse this too much. If that opportunity has arisen, just go with it. It's turning a passion into work, but it's also a chance to see if you like it, and where it might lead.
 
Self doubt is far better than over-confidence, it keeps you working and striving to get better. I know, 'cos I'm riddled with it.

 
Jyemz
 
 
 



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#3
Rain
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/27 16:03:19 (permalink)
craigb
Occupation:  "Cat Herder." 




That was particularly true 2 days ago... Seven cats, two of them sick, and so much white carpet. 
 
Think "outside the box". A bunch of (not so) little pooramids.
 
I stopped counting at 11. Basically, I could not walk out of the studio w/o walking on a "crime scene".
 
At which point, one of them also started puking...

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#4
SongCraft
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/27 16:09:48 (permalink)
I always get the jitters (not confident) before the next show, have a JD, get on that stage and see how it goes. You just never know.
 
Wish you all the very best!
 
 
#5
paulo
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/27 16:37:35 (permalink)
Rain
 
Did I just pull a SonicFan?
 




I was just thinking that someone has hacked your account !
 
If it's really you, then it's about time you started to earn your keep, so just go for it. I'm sure you'll be fine if a recognised star is prepared to risk her reputation on recommending you.
#6
dubdisciple
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/27 16:42:37 (permalink)
You can deeeeew it!
#7
Leadfoot
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/27 18:45:39 (permalink)
Best of luck Rain!
#8
Gone!!
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/27 19:23:53 (permalink)
You can only succeed or fail, and if you didn't give it a shot I guess you've kind of already failed. I am sure you will do fine.
 
I used to have 19 cats, don't have any now days, no pets at all, don't ever want to experience the inevitable ending again. Use to love watching them and all the stuff they would get up to, and seeing them put my big pure bread Rottweiler in his place, just a quick swipe to the chops when he got a bit to annoying, a friendly swipe of course, and he got the message. They would lay on him, and beside him in between his front and back legs, the first time I seen him give them the 'back off' after they pushed his button once to often I nearly died, he would lunge at them and actually have their head inside his mouth, but never actually close his jaws or bite, anyway, that's enough of that or I'll have another pet by this afternoon.
 
Rain
Did I just pull a SonicFan?
 



Pretty much . . . lol
#9
Rain
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/27 20:07:24 (permalink)
From what my wife told me, I need to come up w/ 4 minutes of "Baroque/Industrial" - which doesn't mean much to anyone but probably fits with some of the stuff I do... I'll give it a shot. :)
 
19?! Man, that must have been a full time job to keep up with them!
 
 I'd really like a dog and my wife too. The minute we buy the house - and get rid of the darn carpet - it may very well happen. I'd so like a Rottweiler or Doberman. Or Boxer. Or one of every breed...

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#10
craigb
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/28 00:14:15 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby Rain 2015/03/28 02:10:07
A couple of the larger Boston Terriers might do.  If you've ever been around one for any length of time you'll know what I mean (I've got a 36 pounder whining at me just three feet away  ).  He may belong to my roommate, but I'm an integral part of his home entertainment system!
 

 

And he's such a big help when I need to get work done on the computer!

 
Time for all of you to head over to Beyond My DAW!
#11
yorolpal
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/28 00:22:48 (permalink)
I've got a 70 lb Boxer male and a 20 lb Boston female...and she runs the house. She bosses him and us and let's us know we need to STFU and like it. Course, I say that with love.

https://soundcloud.com/doghouse-riley/tracks 
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Where you come from is gone...where you thought you were goin to weren't never there...and where you are ain't no good unless you can get away from it.
 
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#12
Rain
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/28 02:09:46 (permalink)
Of course, when the house is officially ours, we can finally stop holding back from adopting cats. 
 
 

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craigb
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/28 02:10:22 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby Rain 2015/03/28 03:00:33
Bostons LOVE to bury themselves under covers/blankets/comforters.  That lump I'm pointing to is him still asleep after I've been up and working for a couple of hours.  LOL!
 

 
That used to be MY bed!  Hehe...

 
Time for all of you to head over to Beyond My DAW!
#14
Rain
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/28 03:15:37 (permalink)
I AM the bed... Whenever we watch CSI, this happens.
 

 

 

 
Googlie is very possessive.
If I try to move, she bites (gently). But it's for my own good.
 
That's one of them - we usually have at least 3 with us. Up to 5 when they expect to be fed.

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#15
ampfixer
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/28 14:00:23 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby Rain 2015/03/28 19:34:19
I hear Celine is coming back to the strip. Pay her a visit and tell her you're Quebecous like her. Don't forget to take some St. Hubert bbq. (she loves it)
 
You could be employed very quickly! 
 
I think it's great that you and Mrs. Rain are comfortable with your present roles in life. Working up on the wire isn't something that a person can do forever, so having a plan B is important. You two sound like the type that wont take no for an answer so I think your potential for success is very high. Go for it. IF it doesn't work out, there's still cats to herd and a plan C to develop. Bon Chance.

Regards, John 
 I want to make it clear that I am an Eedjit. I have no direct, or indirect, knowledge of business, the music industry, forum threads or the meaning of life. I know about amps.
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#16
Rain
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/28 19:41:57 (permalink)
Thanks John!
 
St.Hubert, now that's probably the only thing Celine and my wife have in common! Besides singing, I mean. Friends and family know it and usually make sure that they leave us with a good supply of St.Hubert sauce when they visit. That and Cherry Blossoms.
 
I'm starting to feel a tiny bit more confident in terms of my playing and my music, overall. It's tough when you're surrounded by people who are so immensely talented. But I figure that I can do an adequate job in many cases. I'm done wasting time waiting to get better at what I do. 
 
I should be seeing the number soon enough and have it on film and ready for me to work afterwards. In the meantime, I practice writing on demand.
 

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#17
Zonno
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/28 21:08:50 (permalink)
Rain
 
I still think of myself as a nobody......



I am a nobody.
But who cares about status, if making music makes you happy.
Even better, occasionally my music makes someone else happy.
 
 
 

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#18
Rain
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/29 00:51:56 (permalink)
I have no problem being a nobody. The only thing is that, once you're somehow trying to get a business going, you need to assert yourself. But I'm learing to do that as well. :)

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paulo
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/29 07:39:52 (permalink)
ampfixer
I hear Celine is coming back to the strip. Pay her a visit and tell her you're Quebecous like her. Don't forget to take some St. Hubert bbq. (she loves it)
 



I saw her coming out of the Bellagio once during the first residency thing she did, she looked a bit unhappy, so I said...." hey Celine, why the long face?"
 
 
#20
craigb
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/29 12:22:07 (permalink)
Maybe she was just a little horse after the performance?

 
Time for all of you to head over to Beyond My DAW!
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/29 14:33:23 (permalink)
 
Mrs Doyle from Father Ted has done a cover version of Celine Dion's massive worldwide number one...

"My heart will go on go on go on go on go on go on (ah go on)" is released next week.
 


 Music:     The Coffee House BandVeRy MeTaL

#22
ampfixer
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/29 14:44:32 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby SteveStrummerUK 2015/03/29 14:53:51
Now I want to make a nice pot of tea.

Regards, John 
 I want to make it clear that I am an Eedjit. I have no direct, or indirect, knowledge of business, the music industry, forum threads or the meaning of life. I know about amps.
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#23
Moshkito
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Re: To Be or Not To Be... 2015/03/31 10:48:45 (permalink)
Rain
I can't remember which author, in his biography, said something along the lines of "I wasn't sure I was a writer but I was sure I was nothing else."
 ...

 
Heck, you can always go back to washing dishes in a restaurant ... no thanks!
 
Rain
...
I still think of myself as a nobody, but she refers to me as a "musician" and a "composer" - actually, that potential gig, like all the rest, came through her because she has all the connexions.
...
I am lucky that we don't depend on my skills for a living, because there'd be a heck of a lot more pressure. Still, I can't help but feel something like vertigo when I think of having to come up with music, something very specific, for an exact duration, and basically on command. I've done it a few times in my late 20's and 30's but, I guess I had a bit more arrogance, and I dove head first.

 
From a directing standpoint, the best performance I ever had from one of my actors, was a girl that had never been on stage, and she stole the show ... she was nervous before she went on, and I pulled her aside as she was pointing to the audience. I looked at her eyes ... do you know your lines (yes), do you know who you are saying them to?(yes), do you know where you are going on the stage? (yes) ... what's the problem? She pointed out ... so I asked ... where is the story and what you are doing? On the stage. BINGO ... you win a million! The only thing you have to remember is that you might have to pause a few seconds to give the audience their do, but I say ... go as you feel ... the English comedy does not allow you a breather, so why should you, but that part is about your comfort zone (this had all been discussed before in rehearsal when I would interrupt with a vaccum cleaner, with a cat, a dog, anything I could get my hands on!) ... and that was that.
 
So she gets on stage and does her thing, and we had this huge world map, an oldie from the UCSB library (10ft high!) and the top side starts to come off when it comes to her time to touch where she wants to be born, and completely covers her. She grabs it and starts walking to the guy interviewing her and asks what to do with this ... does it mean I failed my test? ... it was sheer perfection on the stage for the moment and the preparation and work on the script.
 
My take is ... the rehearsals have to be good. And I mean good with no interruptions or anything that can be distracting. Then, when you are confident of the material and have adjusted the wording (notes/music!) to the person you are with, sometimes she is short of breath and you have to give it to her! When you and her can do these very minor adjustments (create them in rehearsal, by anticipating some bits and pieces at the toughest parts), are comfortable with the "communication" on the stage, then it won't matter what happens on the first night ... your jitters will be gone by the first note ... you are "communicating" with her ... you are acting out a scene with her! ... you do not have time, place or anything else about anything ... this is your true and pure process ... and your only "clue". 
 
One of the worst things in rock music is moments like these and guitarists get mad that their solo was ruined when in fact they are not the ones that adjusted, when the singer had to let out a slight sneeze and catch his/her breath ... you know right away who the artist is NOT!
 
You decide. 
 
It's about what you do in rehearsal, and it's not just the notes and your music! You have to see a bigger picture, and when you play, you concentrate on your part of that picture ... all else does not exist!
 
The rest as they say ... break a leg ... but I can tell you I have never had a failure in directing! It's about the actor/actresses and their ability to make the music move ... ooppps ... the words! There is no difference, Rain!

Music is not about notes and chords! My poem is not about the computer or monitor or letters! It's about how I was able to translate it from my insides! 
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