First song I have posted on here

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9thaspect
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2015/07/28 23:59:36 (permalink)

First song I have posted on here

Would appreciate some constructive feedback on this one, I wrote this while trying to do something else which seems to be the case for me most times, hope its up to standard for you guys n girls
https://soundcloud.com/9thaspect/the-journey

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    synkrotron
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/07/29 02:47:37 (permalink)
    Hi Stephen,
     
    Welcome to the Songs forum 
     
    I have listened to The Journey. You have great talent with this art, for sure. I am not that great at offering help on mix and stuff, but listening a second time, there are places where the kick drum is buried in the mix. But that may, in part, be down to me listening on my KNS 8400 'phones.
     
    I'll be listening to a few more of your tunes before I tuck into my Bran Flakes...
     
    cheers
     
    andy

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    #2
    9thaspect
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/07/29 08:34:04 (permalink)
    Hi Andy thanks for the reply

    Its only the last few songs I have done that are getting anywhere listenable, I am learning at this recording lark. The drums are just a simple midi drum loop so I didn't know how to mess with each drum individually, they are slapped in the mix as they come. I have no means of recording drums as I am in tiny bedroom, one day you never know.
     
    You are just down the lane from me I am near Leigh

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    synkrotron
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/07/29 14:55:08 (permalink)
    hi again Stephen,
     
    The drums sound okay to me. Yes, real drums would be great, but for some of us it's just impossible (lack of skills/lack of facilities/whatever ). If it was me, I'd try to embellish the MIDI loop and make it mine. A bit time consuming, but worth the effort...
     
    9thaspect
    You are just down the lane from me I am near Leigh



    Indeed 
     

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    #4
    9thaspect
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/07/29 18:21:02 (permalink)
    I did chop it and fiddle about a bit with the drum loop

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    emeraldsoul
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/07/29 21:35:05 (permalink)
    Extremely decent song! My first thought on your mix was, vocals up please!
     
    I was listening on headphones so I noticed (I think) the hard panned acoustic guitars (2 separate lines of them) - it probably works on speakers a treat, but it really distracted me as a headphone listener. Good luck working that one out! :)
     
    Sweet little background vocal "aaaaahhhh" by the way!
     
    Nice vocals, and your voice is pleasantly reminiscent of Harry Chapin, which is nice territory in my opinion. Just reminiscent, you have your own thing going on.
     
    welcome to the forum, and nice job!
     
    cheers,
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    #6
    9thaspect
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/07/29 22:03:31 (permalink)
    emeraldsoul
    Extremely decent song! My first thought on your mix was, vocals up please!
     
    I was listening on headphones so I noticed (I think) the hard panned acoustic guitars (2 separate lines of them) - it probably works on speakers a treat, but it really distracted me as a headphone listener. Good luck working that one out! :)
     
    Sweet little background vocal "aaaaahhhh" by the way!
     
    Nice vocals, and your voice is pleasantly reminiscent of Harry Chapin, which is nice territory in my opinion. Just reminiscent, you have your own thing going on.
     
    welcome to the forum, and nice job!
     
    cheers,
    -Tom


    Cheers Tom for the feedback,

    You are right about the hard panned guitars and it does work on speakers I think? will have a think about that one next time. Will check out who Harry Chapin is and thanks for the positivity on the vocal, I am only just finding my voice, not had the guts to attempt to sing before much, played bass for years but started playing acoustic and singing just so I can put my own ideas down, without waiting for others to come and help me out.

    Cheers,
    Steve

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    #7
    Keyport Shuffle
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/07/30 04:07:38 (permalink)
    Very nice!
    #8
    evadianepug
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/07/30 09:04:11 (permalink)
    ESoul was right.  I do hear the Chapin similarity, though as he said, different.  WELCOME to the forum.  I haven't been up for awhile and am freeing up time to listen to more tunes.  This is nice. A bit long for my attention span. Good song and I like the acoustic sound. I look forward to more posts from you.

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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/07/30 13:34:41 (permalink)
    Hello and welcome to the songs forum it seems work reasonably well here, not 100% on the hard panning in the beginning.  Thanks for sharing.

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    9thaspect
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/07/30 19:56:52 (permalink)
    Thanks all for the feedback, its appreciated I am quite a novice at this really so any advice is appreciated. Taken on board the hard panning comments and will remember for future tracks.

    Cheers

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    synkrotron
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/07/31 02:11:28 (permalink)
    I think the hard panning wouldn't be so bad if you doubled the guitar part, one to the left and one, playing almost the same, to the right. Or you could use automation to start the guitar in centre and then pan to left or right once the other parts kick in...

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    9thaspect
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/07/31 23:09:18 (permalink)
    Will try that technique out, sounds like it would really work well.

    Cheers Andy

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    bitflipper
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/08/01 07:15:51 (permalink)
    Top marks for the song and performance. Now you just need to work on the mix, starting with working on left/right balance. Mixing in headphones might help with that. I'd also try adding a little subtle ambiance to help glue the instruments together. Electric guitar sounds great to me, but the acoustic needs some EQ, perhaps automated to thin it out when it's not the featured instrument. 
     
    Creative suggestions:
    - try a long delay on the guitar lead
    - layer a tambourine over the snare, bring it in for the 2nd half
    - some kind of pad instrument would help tie everything together, perhaps an organ
    - there are some nice melodic guitar phrases that are getting lost; you could apply some volume automation to shift focus to them
    - the drums will be fine with some embellishments; some subtle hand percussion such as an egg shaker would be one place to start. I'd bring the hi-hat down a bit and look around for a deeper kick sample to overlay.
    - lead vocal is excellent, but could stand some variation. Maybe automate the reverb send so it's drier either on the verse or on the chorus. Double-track the last verse. Bring in a delay on key phrases such as "distant memories are all I have".
     
    You can probably tell I like this song. I'd have a blast mixing it.
     
     


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    sausy1981
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/08/01 08:00:54 (permalink)
    I'm with Bitflipper on this one, I think it's a great song some things that he has mentioned would help, particularly try an egg shaker or tambourine in the chorus, just to add a little lift. Overall the production is excellent. A really nice delay on that lead guitar would be sweet. Maybe add a bit more verb to the side stick and bring it in more towards the center. Great Job Stephen.
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    9thaspect
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/08/01 22:33:00 (permalink)
    Thanks guys once again for the advice, I am new to recording and I am learning as I go, this is probably the best mix I have done so far and the ideas and advice you have given will definitely be used on future projects, may even attempt a new mix of this when I have some time.

    Bitflipper if you ever want to give it a go I could send you the tracks as wave files without any effects or anything (if that is how it should be done?), just give me a shout I would love to hear what someone with experience could do with it, no pressure though at all, its just you said you would have a ball mixing it so wanted to offer you the chance.

    Thanks again for the ideas and guidance

    Steve
    post edited by 9thaspect - 2015/08/01 23:17:46

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    bapu
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/08/02 14:06:31 (permalink)
    Great vocal. To my ears it should be in the center. I hear it panned a little too right.
     
    Acoustic guitars sound really nice. The right one might just be a tad bit to loud, IMO.
     
    If it were me I'd give the drums just a bit more punch.
     
    Excellent mix otherwise.
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    9thaspect
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/08/04 21:08:33 (permalink)
    Thanks for reply all comments noted

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    ohgrant
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/08/04 21:31:25 (permalink)
     Very pristine sounding recordings. Great song and performances. I really enjoyed.

    Me
     
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    rejonzin
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/08/04 23:07:46 (permalink)
    Hello, nice song, could not hear vocals. My problem was I couldn't decide if it was a folk or rock song. Maybe more folk and less rock would be better for me, I suppose if I could hear the words it would help. Keyboard support would help with fullness. Also could use some reverb or somthing gluing the sounds to a space of some sort. May a little too dry. Nice to on though.
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    stevec
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/08/05 16:02:30 (permalink)
    Nice!   If you're just starting out then I'd say you're making a heck of a start.   The overall mix sounds good, just needs a few tweaks as already mentioned.   The song, performance and arrangement are pretty good IMO.   Good way to kick it off.  

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    #21
    9thaspect
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/08/05 22:42:26 (permalink)
    Hi

    Cheers guys for the comments, I have done a few recordings in the past but to be honest I had no idea what I was doing, I have learned a bit and I am hoping to get things sounding better. Got the basics sussed out but still tend to wing it a bit, will get there in the end I hope. I play bass and I am a member of Basschat, they do a monthly composition competition (the winner picks a picture and that becomes next months theme for the competition) and this is how I got into recording. Really enjoying playing about and wish I could get what's in my head down on hard disc, trying to learn guitar at the same time as learning this stuff as well. Really getting into song writing just for fun, I have under no illusions of grandeur  My main problem is lack of sleep :-)



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    Bob Oister
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/08/06 02:53:33 (permalink)
    Hi, Steve,
     
    Great song, well written and instrumentally performed, with nice, strong vocals!
     
    The acoustic and electric guitars sound really good, and the mix is off to a great start.  As Bapu suggested, I would center the vocal and bump up the volume a little bit and also beef up the drums a touch.
     
    I really like the guitar solo, and I think a slight volume adjustment would shine a light on the solo and let it take focus a bit more.
     
    Bitflipper made some excellent, well detailed suggestions that would definitely be worth trying to add a little extra polish.
     
    I also hear a resemblance to Harry Chapin in your writing and vocal style, and that's meant to be a compliment!
     
    Excellent work, Steve, best wishes!
    Bob
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    9thaspect
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/08/06 23:24:51 (permalink)
    I haven't found my vocal sound or style yet, as I am still experimenting and I tend to sound different on a each recording I do. Here is something I am just messing with which to me is different again, you will see what I mean.

    https://soundcloud.com/9thaspect/black-rain-and-thunder-storms

    Thanks for the comments

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    CreatingNoise
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/08/10 21:04:41 (permalink)
    Stephen,
      I have to say wow because this is one slick first posting.  You managed to bring a lot of stuff together here for a great sounding tune with a pristine mix and well played instruments.  I like this one a lot.  Nice job!
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/08/12 17:05:44 (permalink)
    Welcome to the forum! (a bit late but I don't get here much, sorry )
     
    A very nice tune, I liked it a lot. Really good guitar work and vocals
    As for the mix, I couldn't add anything more than what's already been said here, these folks know what they're doing and won't steer you wrong.
    Except.......
    I noticed you said your a bassist. I heard a couple of really nice bass lines and IMHO they could have a bit more of a place than they do, they sound really nice.
    But that's just nitpicking, as I said I liked it a lot, keep up the good work!

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    #26
    theguitarplayer
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/08/12 17:24:02 (permalink)
    Yup!! Job well done!! Welcome to the forum and keep the songs a com'in!!
     
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    9thaspect
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    Re: First song I have posted on here 2015/08/12 22:57:30 (permalink)
    Thanks again for all the comments and I am taking note of them, hopefully I will be able to put them to good use

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