Understanding what the bakers are up against.

Great article, written obviously by a long time programmer.
Next time we think about bashing the bakers, we should re-read it and reflect on just what they are attempting to do!
I've been coding for 34 years, and this guy has nailed it.
 

http://www.stilldrinking.org/programming-sucks
 
 

I started on octal assembler, as well (PDP-8e; had several; used to run the neutrino beam line at Fermilab). 3-pass paper tape assembler. 1 MB 14" hard drive. TED editor. 32K x 12 of core memory. Woo hoo!
 
Here's a little program I kept from back in the day:
 
//
// Warning: do not compile; unpredictable results!
//
// Subject: *** Top Secret Microsoft Code ***
// Project: Version - Windows 95
//
// Microsoft marketing strategy (MARKET.EXE)
//
#include nothing.h /* MS Network Connectivity library (for the lawyers) */
#define say(x) lie(x)
#define computeruser ALL_WANT_TO_BUY_OUR_BUGWARE
#define next_year soon
#define the_product_is_ready_to_ship another_beta_version
void main()
{
    if (latest_window_version > one_month_old)
    {
        if (there_are_still_bugs)
            market(bugfix);
        if (sales_drop_below_certain_point)
            raise(rumors_about_a_new_bugless_version);
    }
    while (everyone_chats_about_new_version)
    {
        make_false_promise(it_will_be_multitasking);
        if (rumors_grow_wilder)
            make_false_promise(it_will_be_plug_n_play);
        if (rumors_grow_even_wilder)
        {
            market_time = ripe;
            say("It will be ready in one month");
            order(programmers, stop_fixing_bugs_in_old_version);
            order(programmers, start_brainstorming_about_new_version);
            order(marketing, permission_to_spread_nonsense);
            vaporware = TRUE;
            break;
        }
    }
    switch (nasty_questions_by_the_worldpress)
    {
        case WHEN_WILL_IT_BE_READY:
            say("It will be ready in ", today+30, "days. We're just testing.");
            break;
        case WILL_THIS_PLUG_AND_PLAY_THING_WORK:
            say("Yes it will work.");
            ask(programmers, why_does_it_not_work);
            pretend(there_is_no_problem);
            break;
        case WHAT_ARE_MINIMAL_HARDWARE_REQUIREMENTS:
            say("It will run on an 80386 with lightning speed \
                    due to its 32-bit architecture.");
            inform(INTEL, "Pentium sales will rise skyhigh.");
            inform(SAMSUNG, "Start a new memory chip plant 'cause all \
                    those customers will need at least 32 MB.");
            inform(QUANTUM, "Thanks to our fatware, your sales will triple.");
            get_big_bonus(INTEL, SAMSUNG, QUANTUM);
            break;
        case DOES_MICROSOFT_HAVE_TOO_MUCH_INFLUENCE:
            say("Oh no, we're just here to make a better world for everyone.");
            register(journalist, Big_Bill_Book);
            when (time_is_right)
            {
                arrest(journalist);
                brainwash(journalist);
                when (journalist_says_windows95_is_bugfree)
                {
                    order(journalist, "Write a nice objective article.");
                    release(journalist);
                }
            }
            break;
    }
    while (vaporware)
    {
        ++introduction_date; /* delay */
        if (no_one_believes_there_will_be_a_release_anymore)
            break;
        say("It will be ready in ", today+30, " days.");
    }
    release(beta_version);
    while (everyone_is_dumb_enough_to_buy_our_bugware)
    {
        bills_bank_account += 150 * megabucks;
        release(new_and_improved_beta_version);
        if (customers_report_installation_problems)
        {
            say("That is a hardware problem, not a software problem.");
            if (smart_customer_says_but_you_promised_plug_n_play)
            {
                ignore(customer);
                order(microsoft_intelligence_agency, "Watch this bastard.");
            }
        }
        if (bills_bank_account > skyhigh && bills_marriage > two_years)
        {
            divorce(woman_that_was_beautiful_when_I_married_her);
            wave(dollars, at_lusty_young_chicks);
            marry(young_blond_virgin_with_big_tits);
            if (tits_start_to_droop)
                dump(young_blond_former_virgin);
        }
        if (there_is_a_competing_company)
        {
            steal(their_ideas);
            accuse(company, stealing_our_ideas);
            hire(lots_of_lawyers); /* in process.h */
            wait(until_company_cannot_afford_another_lawsuit);
            buy_out(company);
        }
    }
    /* Now everyone realizes that we sell bugware */
    /* and they're all mad as hell. */
    order(plastic_surgeon, make_bill_look_like_poor_bastard);
    buy(nice_little_island);
    hire(harem);
    laugh_at(everyone, for_buying_another_unfinished_version);
}
 
void bugfix()
{
    charge(a_lot_of_money);
    if (customer_says_he_does_not_want_to_pay_for_bugfix)
        say("It's not a bugfix. It's a new version.");
    if (customer_still_complains)
    {
        ignore(customer);
        register(customer, Big_Bill_Book);
        /* we'll get him when everyone's using Billware!!! */
    }
}

I worked as a ****** for *** years, from **** to ****, at ****.  That was nearly ** years ago, but I still can't even use my real name on ******** applications.
 

That was good.  I code in SAS 5 days a week and need a break in my free time to record music.  I am amazed at the speed and quality of updates Cakewalk produces. 

My first programming experience was with hand punched paper tape, which had to be sent to the Main frame about 25 miles away.  The Main Frame had a stunning 1Kbyte of memory, our programs took a week to go through the cycle of being sent, run and the results returned.  Sometime later I went through the lessons of Fortran, COBOL, Basic, TransBasic, Pascal, C etc.  Consequently I fully sympathise with anyone who write code.

My experience of writing code basically consisted of 99% putting badly written code right, 1% wiping the blood from my brow having spent some more time than necessary explaining (=banging head against wall) to the sales and marketing team you should ask us before you say yes.

I tried programming when PC's came out and realized I didn't have the time to write a page of code that would draw a little blue box on the screen containing the words "Hello John". I don't know how these guys keep it together.

ampfixer
I tried programming when PC's came out and realized I didn't have the time to write a page of code that would draw a little blue box on the screen containing the words "Hello John". I don't know how these guys keep it together.

Yep... my best collaborator back in the day was a programmer and man, could he do drums... me? Never!  Takes a special mindset/brain.