Official farewell (of sorts).

I never liked goodbye threads. I always felt that one should just leave. But I'm not leaving the forum, so this doesn't apply. I'm leaving music. Below is what I said in my FaceBook post to my followers. I am still proud of the songs that I did manage to record, however wonky they may be, and in light of it being impractical for the ForumMonkeys to take over, I am opening up my songs for royalty-free cover, as long as you point back to me somehow as originator. Have fun with them. I look forward to seeing what you all do with them and what changes occur in genre, instrumentation, arrangement and melody. This, I think is the only way to keep my songs around a while.

## My FaceBook Farewell to Music Post ##

When I was young, before I learned to play any instrument, music was just this incredibly amazing sound that came out of the radio. I didn't know how it was made or what instruments were making which sounds. Nor did I care. I simply loved listening to it and losing myself in it.
 
When I picked up the guitar, at age thirteen, some of the magic began to fade, but it was still enjoyable because I could then take part in the creation process. It was an interesting experience. By the time I got married I had been in many garage bands and two actual gigging bands. The nice thing about this was I only had to worry about my own part. I didn't have to think about drums, bass, keys or singing. It was also nice because the guitar was a very expressive instrument. I could translate what I felt or thought, directly to the instrument with little thinking.
 
Before I got married, I sold all of my gear, save for a single guitar, in order to pay for it all. Starting a family was the beginning of a downward spiral for me, musically speaking. I found less and less time to practice. Having to move several times, and without an amp, it wasn't practical to play in a band. My ability to play suffered.
 
As my kids grew older, and I had more free time again, I decided I wanted to play again. I managed to purchase a decent amp and started practicing again. The first thing I noticed was that it was a lot harder to play, physically speaking, due to the effect prolonged smoking has on several of my fingers, leaving them pointed at the end, rather than blunt. I kept on playing though, trying to adapt by learning new fingerings. This was incredibly difficult and in the end, I found it too difficult reprogram myself and retrain my muscle memory.
 
It was also really boring playing by myself, so I got some recording software. For a while, I used this to make whole songs, so at least I felt like I was doing something, outside of the band scene. Then I had my first stroke. I didn't play again for a while and by the time I'd picked it back up arthritis had set it, making it even more difficult.
 
A second, minor stroke and a few years later, I picked up the keyboard I have now. It was so easy to play, even with my arthritis, that I decided to switch from guitar to keys. But over the past few months, I have discovered that it is a lot harder to translate feelings and thoughts to a keyboard, unless you play with the caliber of Elton John. My style is more of making noises and holding chords for several measures.
 
Having given up guitar, but still requiring it in the songs I write, I had to do something creative to make it happen. The recording software I got came with built in "software synths" that acted as emulators for guitar, bass and drums.
Every song I've done in the past few years is completely void of any real stringed instruments. You heard right. All those guitars in my songs are just synths. I had to painstakingly draw each note onto a staff and set it's string assignment, velocity, picking style, strumming style, and any expressions such as vibrato, bending and legato, by hand. Each and every single one, for every track, for every song.
 
Once all that was done, I had to add effects, balance the mix, add compression and EQ so that no two instruments shared the same frequency range, master and commit to mp3. All that takes a long time, and somewhere along the way, amid all the technical aspects, the feeling gets lost. The matter is compounded by the fact that string emulations can not do certain things, like muting the strings with your palm.
 
Now imaging, year after year, doing what I just described, to have less than ten people click "like" on your uploads, no shares, and few comments. It has been disheartening and over time has disenfranchised me to the whole affair. Compared to the time I spend doing it, I get little, if anything, out of it.
 
One might argue that music should be done for the sake of the music, and I agree, which leads me to my final points.
When I began playing at thirteen, it was a way for a very introverted and shy teen to interact with people without actually having to interact with them. That probably wasn't the best reason to start playing, if you ask me. Now that I am older, and don't need that, my reasons fell to wanting to build or join a band and make music my career. That hasn't happened and there are several reasons why; including health, finances, family and a mismatch between the kinds of songs I like to play versus what the masses like to hear.
 
Let's face it. While I do get the occasional accolade from a friend of family member, nobody is going to assemble a CD of all my songs and host a party with it. No, they'll use things in the top 40.
 
Music has become a chore now and I can not seem to sit for more than a few minutes at a time before walking away from it. I haven't written anything new, lyrically speaking, in years, but not from a lack of trying.
 
Please understand now, I am not being bitter about any of this. I have simply come to the conclusion that my goals are no longer probable or practical. Therefore, I submit that it would be in my best interest to set it all aside and find something else to do with my time.
 
I will keep my keyboard and continue to play when the mood hits, but as for the guitar and going through all the hoops needed to record songs, I think those are things better left to those with the time, energy, money and talent. Right now, that isn't me.

~Drew Jones

I completely understand.  Good night and good luck!

No problem! I was honored you guys even considered it. =)

I'll still be "around", listening to the stuff posted in the Songs forum.

Hey Moshkito, I sincerely appreciate the message and sentiment. However, I think the point I was trying to get across was that I really don't do it for myself. I never did. I have little inner vision in this arena. It is why I also stopped drawing and painting years ago. It just wasn't fun and I didn't get any personal satisfaction out of it. I made another post not too long ago on good old FaceBook about the very subject of quitting (topic independent). Here it is, as I think it applies to my situation.

####


I realized something yesterday. It is possible to win by quitting. That may sound odd if, like me, your parents constantly told you that "winners never quit" or "quitters never win", but what if I told you that wasn't the case? There are actually some very good reasons to quit something.
 
Are you experiencing more frustration than reward? Is the activity monopolizing your time? Is the activity siphoning the bulk of your money? Is your health suffering from continued involvement? Are there better things you could be spending your time on? Are you doing it for the wrong reasons? Do you continue doing it out of a fear of change?
Sometimes, quitting is exactly what one needs to do to win.

Well now, THAT I agree with. I don't want anybody to come to the conclusion that this is a "sad" decision. In fact, it has been quite liberating for me. I feel a lot freer now, and there are still a lot of things I would like to do in this world. For example, I'd like to learn lyrical dance. I am in no way giving up on myself. Just music, at least for now. Things can always change.

Serenarules
Well now, THAT I agree with. I don't want anybody to come to the conclusion that this is a "sad" decision. In fact, it has been quite liberating for me. I feel a lot freer now, and there are still a lot of things I would like to do in this world. For example, I'd like to learn lyrical dance. I am in no way giving up on myself. Just music, at least for now. Things can always change.

Serena,
 
I've come to the realization that I've never really *loved* music, it was mostly an obsession.  I've heard similar stories of other musicians.  The obsession still waxes and wanes as I get older, but the older I get the more I realize that I enjoy a beautiful sunset or a walk at the art museum or other things more than composing.  Maybe you're at a similar point (i.e. need versus want)  Funny thing that with that realization I find myself more sensitive to lyrics now!  I've never been into lyrics at all...but  I just find the meaning that music or art presents itself to me wherever I am in life.  Art has evolved along with my  life circumstances and my maturity.

It's ok, my real name is  Ima Hogg  from ABILENE texas nahs to meet ya!

You may be leaving music, but it will never leave you.
Good luck!

I'm just about ready to quit with undershreddies.
 
Whooooops. wrong forum.

bapu
I'm just about ready to quit with undershreddies.
 
Whooooops. wrong forum.

You know it's really bad when it's the other way around....