Lipstick & Smiles

Marshall,
 
There is a lot of time drift going on between the instrumentation and your drums. If you recorded the guitars first, that's probably the reason. Tightening things up would make a huge difference in the final presentation. The recordings themselves are fine, though I hear some places where judicious use of EQ/compression could improve things. I'd say you are about halfway there to making a fully realized version of your song.
 
Lots of good ideas in your song, I would definitely make the effort to improve the overall presentation.
 
Regards,
Dan

Firstly, I like the song and your presentation of it a lot.
From a sonic perspective, I'm not keen on the snare, I think a traditional snare sound would be better.
As per the comments above, there are some timing issues. 

I am sure it will be well done!  Yes, too many hours and you get numb to what you are listening to.  We all do!  That's why we're here.  They don't laugh at us and help with no expectations. 

Hello Sir, nice effort.
 
I agree with the timing issues, I'm wondering if you are experiencing RTL.  Do you record with effects on?
 
A nice song.  I like the guitar @ 2:35 and @ 4:40, the bass is great, timing aside, and it is good to hear a real bass player playing a real bass.
 
Depending on how much you want to spend on this, you could really take it to another level.  The Rush reference is interesting.
 
I think you should post your "You turned my world around tune."
 
Jesse Q. Screed

Jesse Screed
Hello Sir, nice effort.
 
I agree with the timing issues, I'm wondering if you are experiencing RTL.  Do you record with effects on?
 
A nice song.  I like the guitar @ 2:35 and @ 4:40, the bass is great, timing aside, and it is good to hear a real bass player playing a real bass.
 
Depending on how much you want to spend on this, you could really take it to another level.  The Rush reference is interesting.
 
I think you should post your "You turned my world around tune."
 
Jesse Q. Screed

I took up bass not that long ago (in relative terms to my advanced years ;-) and it is great to get a vote of confidence. On most of my songs I try to take the bass beyond "Base Camp 1"
 
I don't need much encouragement, so I will post "You turned my world around". Thank you for taking the time to listen to some of my other pieces. 

Marshall,
 
The new version is a definite improvement. The difficulty level of that swing timing on the bass is probably the only thing that stands out, timing-wise, but it is only really noticeable in a few spots. So, well done tightening everything up!
 
As to the mix, I think you've done a good job of bringing out the good stuff.
 
Regards,
Dan