jamesg1213
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Unusual requests
I'm a gardener, if you didn't know. Looks like I'll rained off for most of tomorrow. Just had an email from a customer asking if I can come and set up her son's 'electric drum kit'.
Certainly, I think double my usual rate for that would be appropriate. I do get some strange ones.
Mind you, I don't think anything will ever beat 'James, would you mind washing this mackerel for me?'
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Mesh
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Re: Unusual requests
2017/09/19 20:16:09
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☄ Helpfulby Rimshot 2017/09/19 22:18:48
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paulo
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Re: Unusual requests
2017/09/19 21:27:25
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☄ Helpfulby jamesg1213 2017/09/20 12:39:19
An elderly lady customer once called to ask if I could come round and take her new TV out of the box and put it on to the tv unit for her. She was adamant that she could manage the rest, so I literally went in, lifted it out of the box (it wasn't even very big) and put it onto the unit. She asked how much she owed me and I said £50 or a smile. It was really quite funny watching her going into one and berating me for ripping her off as I'd only been there for 5 minutes and spent most of that talking...didn't even take the empty box out etc, etc...... and then watching the penny drop as the second option I'd given her finally hit home. 
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jamesg1213
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Re: Unusual requests
2017/09/20 12:40:57
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Then there was the lady who's partner died, and he expressly wanted a 'green burial', so she asked me if I'd be willing to take the body in the back of my van, in a wicker coffin, because he didn't want a hearse...I thought about it...
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synkrotron
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Re: Unusual requests
2017/09/20 12:44:04
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jamesg1213
Then there was the lady who's partner died, and he expressly wanted a 'green burial', so she asked me if I'd be willing to take the body in the back of my van, in a wicker coffin, because he didn't want a hearse...I thought about it...
Interesting... I want a "green burial" too... How much do you charge for that service?
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jamesg1213
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Re: Unusual requests
2017/09/20 13:00:41
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synkrotron
jamesg1213
Then there was the lady who's partner died, and he expressly wanted a 'green burial', so she asked me if I'd be willing to take the body in the back of my van, in a wicker coffin, because he didn't want a hearse...I thought about it...
Interesting... I want a "green burial" too... How much do you charge for that service?
Very reasonable rates, and I have a 2-acre field with excellent views 
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Wookiee
Rrrrugh arah-ah-woof?
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Re: Unusual requests
2017/09/20 13:10:42
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jamesg1213
synkrotron
jamesg1213
Then there was the lady who's partner died, and he expressly wanted a 'green burial', so she asked me if I'd be willing to take the body in the back of my van, in a wicker coffin, because he didn't want a hearse...I thought about it...
Interesting... I want a "green burial" too... How much do you charge for that service?
Very reasonable rates, and I have a 2-acre field with excellent views
These green burials are very popular these day James, you can get a lot of bodies in two acre's of field, (no do not ask how I know that), plant a few tree's.
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.
Karma has a way of finding its own way home.
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Mesh
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Re: Unusual requests
2017/09/20 13:10:43
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jamesg1213
synkrotron
jamesg1213
Then there was the lady who's partner died, and he expressly wanted a 'green burial', so she asked me if I'd be willing to take the body in the back of my van, in a wicker coffin, because he didn't want a hearse...I thought about it...
Interesting... I want a "green burial" too... How much do you charge for that service?
Very reasonable rates, and I have a 2-acre field with excellent views
Is a "green burial" burying it in your own land vs. a cemetery? With the unreasonable prices of being buried in a cemetery, I'm more than inclined to do this on my own land. As a matter of fact, our next home will have at least 3+ acres (not for burial reasons, but coz we like the country setting). 
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synkrotron
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Re: Unusual requests
2017/09/20 13:25:50
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jamesg1213
Very reasonable rates, and I have a 2-acre field with excellent views
Just having my last will and testament prepared... I'll have to make a note of this... Green burials are a funny thing... Disposing of ones body in the "greenest" way possible. I recently requested that if I could be thrown off a cliff somewhere but there is the cost of fuel to get there and, apparently, it's not allowed. Then another thought was, stick my body in a boat that would disintegrate once I was out to sea. I would have a heavy weight attached to me which would drag me down to the sea bed and I could feed the fishes. But, according to my solicitor, that isn't allowed either. Burial in the back garden is, it seems, the greenest possible way to dispose of ones self... But I don't have enough room for that sort of thing. Need to have a think, before it is too late...
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Mesh
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Re: Unusual requests
2017/09/20 13:46:01
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synkrotron
Then another thought was, stick my body in a boat that would disintegrate once I was out to sea. I would have a heavy weight attached to me which would drag me down to the sea bed and I could feed the fishes. But, according to my solicitor, that isn't allowed either.
Need to have a think, before it is too late...
Once it disintegrates, would there be anything left to be dragged down? Or did this disintegrate and then immediately reincarnate? 
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synkrotron
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Re: Unusual requests
2017/09/20 13:52:07
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☄ Helpfulby Mesh 2017/09/20 13:56:12
Mesh
Once it disintegrates, would there be anything left to be dragged down?
Or did this disintegrate and then immediately reincarnate?
It is the boat that disintegrates, Mesh, not my body...
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bapu
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Re: Unusual requests
2017/09/20 14:19:33
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Due to the TOS I canne even tell you all what Mooch requested of me when I visited him (the frst time, when he was a bachelor).
Well, the visit part was true.
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bapu
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jamesg1213
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Re: Unusual requests
2017/09/20 14:57:38
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Jyemz Thrombold's Patented Brisk Weather Pantaloonettes with Inclementometer
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jamesg1213
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Re: Unusual requests
2017/09/20 14:58:21
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Wookiee
jamesg1213
synkrotron
jamesg1213
Then there was the lady who's partner died, and he expressly wanted a 'green burial', so she asked me if I'd be willing to take the body in the back of my van, in a wicker coffin, because he didn't want a hearse...I thought about it...
Interesting... I want a "green burial" too... How much do you charge for that service?
Very reasonable rates, and I have a 2-acre field with excellent views
These green burials are very popular these day James, you can get a lot of bodies in two acre's of field, (no do not ask how I know that), plant a few tree's.
Plenty of room if you bury them standing up, as per Sir Henry at Rawlinson's End...
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bapu
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Re: Unusual requests
2017/09/20 17:13:04
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☄ Helpfulby jamesg1213 2017/09/20 17:30:27
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craigb
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Re: Unusual requests
2017/09/20 18:48:02
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I prefer to use this tract of land near a river that's hard to get to, but I can't believe we're admitting where we bury the bodies on a public forum! 
Time for all of you to head over to Beyond My DAW!
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